The 75th Annual Academy Awards

The actually ceremony has already been effectivly reported on by my esteemed colleagues below, so I will retrict this to why I watched.One of the previous reviewers obviously likes Olivia de Havilland but is wrong saying she is the only one still alive after 59 years.There was an actress, revealed in the group portrait, who won in the 1930's and is the oldest winning Oscar survivor but I cannot remember her name.For me this group portrait is more entertaining than listening to all and sundry saying "Thankyou" all evening.

My particular favourite is Jennifer Jones, who won best actress for "Song of Bernadette "(1943) in the 1944 ceremony.I have watched and own videos of every one of her movies from 1939-1974 and have taped most of her screened personal appearances since then.Film fans know she makes very rare public appearances so any glimpse is to be treasured.I have photos of her from age 2 until her present age 84 from her available biographies, memoirs of her and from contemporary magazines etc.I also make regular contributions to her tribute web site.Long may she live!!

Despite the muted tone of the 75th Academy Awards, there were some outstanding moments and here are a few of the observations I care to make on the whole affair:

1) Adding not a bit of class to the televised event was CAMERON DIAZ, busily chewing gum and staring vacantly at some of the old-time presenters, as though she either didn't recognize them or didn't appreciate that they were a part of film history;

2) ADRIEN BRODY giving a genuinely heart-felt acceptance speech, including the surprisingly passionate kiss for Halle Berry! Talk about taking advantage of a situation, but at least he was honest about it;

3) MICHAEL MOORE making a complete jackass of himself by taking the stage to receive an award (for a non-documentary, by the way), and then erupting into a tirade against President Bush and the war that was greeted at first with abashed silence and then a round of well-deserved boos from the overwhelmingly liberal Hollywood crowd;

4) OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND receiving a standing ovation and still radiating good health and classic loveliness even with silver-white hair as she presented 59 of the past winners. Among the missing: ELIZABETH TAYLOR, which was just as well considering her diamonds would have weighed her down, even if she was sitting in a wheelchair, and would have called for even more of a bodyguard atmosphere than usual;

5) Among those who didn't look so well (some even shockingly bad), were KARL MALDEN, JENNIFER JONES (who looked like a wax figure), TERESA WRIGHT, GEORGE CHAKIRIS (another wax figure), KIRK DOUGLAS, DUSTIN Hoffman, PATRICIA NEAL and CLIFF ROBERTSON.

Although it was good to see a stage full of former winners, one couldn't help noticing how few of them resembled their former selves on screen.

STEVE MARTIN did an okay job as presenter, easily rebuffing Michael Moore with a clever comeback line about the Mafia, but unfortunately veering into tasteless territory with his jokes about MICKEY ROONEY's age or the sexual ambiguities of stars like JACK NICHOLSON and others.

I was especially impresssed with one of de Havilland's comments after observing that much had changed since the earlier times. "What hasn't changed," she said, in her gentle tone, "is our love of the movies. They inspire us and help us through troubled times." She's done so many Oscar shows as presenter (not to mention winner) and is always a reminder of how classy Hollywood performers used to be.

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a GoodFella... sorry, I'll start again.

As far back as I can remember, I've been tuning into the Oscars; first the edited highlights while living in Barbados and stuck with CBC Channel 8, then the coverage on CNN (when they still carried showbiz stuff), and then when I returned to England, it was time to sit up late or get up early and watch them live. The Academy Awards, like them or not, still have a glitz and pull no other award show on Earth can match; the BAFTAs and the Golden Globes can try all they want, but no matter whether they come before or after, they'll always be mere appetizers to the main event.

This year's, back on BBC1 (who incidentally pretended that losing them to Sky didn't matter... okay, but why did they make such a fuss when they got them BACK?), was amazing not so much for the results - "Chicago" won Best Picture? Who didn't see that coming? - as for the fact that it only overran by about four minutes. Keep up the tight reins, folks (or maybe ensure that not all the nominated songs get performed again). The segments in between the awards with Jonathan Ross interviewing various Americans and Brits are always a cue for me to change the channel or mute it, but the rest of the show...

Five Bad Things:

1. The failure of Eminem to turn up and accept an Oscar for Barbra Streisand (E&B would have been a team for the ages).

2. The snubbing, for the most part, of "The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers."

3. The continuing prejudice of the producers (apparently if you're winning a major acting prize you can talk as long as you want).

4. Steve Martin's joke about Mickey Mouse being one of "America's leading black actors."

5. Jennifer Garner appearing alongside the aforementioned actor of colour (it must have been a Disney/ABC thing).

Five Good Things:

1. Jennifer Garner appearing and a) maintaining her dignity and b) being one of the best-looking women there (if she, Salma Hayek or Halle Berry are reading this...). No wonder she was nominated for an Emmy for "Alias."

2. Most of Steve Martin's other jokes (not least the one about Hollywood willing to work with actors of any age - "Young...[picture of Haley Joel Osment]... middle-aged... [picture of Natalie Portman]... or old [picture of Reese Witherspoon]").

3. Adrien Brody, for delivering the best acceptance speech of the night (sorry Michael Moore, but political statements do not count), and for not letting the opportunity to snog Halle Berry go by.

4. The fact that "Chicago" didn't win all the Oscars it was up for, sparing us from hearing "All That Jazz" 11 times.

5. The Oscars giving the Animated Feature award to the only non-American feature nominated (though non-Disney fans note "Spirited Away" was released there by... guess).

And I'll be watching again next year...

I loved the awards. I taped it because I know that my favorite actress, Olivia de Havilland, was going to be there. I was touched when they gave a standing ovation. She is a true living legend and she will be on earth for a long time to come.

Steve Martin's insults made this presentation! In light of the recent war in Iraq, many celebrities dressed down and even did not show up. But Steve Martin made us all forget when he started randomly insulting actors and actresses in the audience.

Some of his lines made the actors in the audience literally gasp in astonishment. Here are some of quotes from his hosting performance:

"Movie stars can be straight (camera on Harrison Ford), or gay (camera on Jack Nicholson)." "He got to go in a hot tub with Kathy Bates - but who hasn't?" "And Queen Latifah - or as I like to call her, 'sequel money'!"

Martin was the best thing about this otherwise out-of-place Oscars that just seemed too watered down. I think it's important to respect those fighting for America and England, but as they say, "The show must go on," and this show BARELY went on.