Take My Eyes

One of the first negative responses the critics give about the Academy Award is how there is only one award for the rest of the world, that is, Best Foreign Film.

I do like Hollywood films and in fact, about 80% of the movies I watch are Hollywood movies. But this time I am going to write about a Spanish film originally entitled "Te Doy Hasta Mis Ojos", which translates into "Take my Eyes".

The movie is directed by Iciar Bollaín and stars Luis Tosar as Alfonso and Laia Marull as Pilar.

The movie's beginning might as well be a suitable ending with, a determined Pilar and her son running away from home to refugee at Pilar's sister, Ana's house.

The reason and main theme of the movie are soon revealed, Pilar is beaten by her psychotic husband, Alfonso. We then start understanding the difficult, but yet common, couple relationship they live through.

Pilar and Alfonso both love and need each other, which is the main reason why Pilar returns with him. Unfortunately, there are other factors affecting Alfonso, whom even though is attending an anger management program, has several outbursts of anger.

Being the black sheep of his siblings, being at a work he dislikes, and not liking Pilar's new job, which is making him insecure of her faithfulness. The truth is Pilar is only enthusiastic about doing something she likes, her husband misunderstand this leading to the mental disturbing final act.

If I had to briefly describe this movie, I will probably say "Cruelly Real". An uncomfortable feeling is always present. Making you willing to just stop the movie, but at the same time, gluing you to your seat until its ending.

The characters are really well portrayed and even though you feel no sympathy at all for Alfonso, you still try to comprehend the reasons behind his behavior.

I will like to advice it is a really heavy movie but it is surely recommendable, since this is a problem found in societies all around the world, and this movie portrays what a family under this conditions has to live through.

This is an excellent movie that understands the complexity of domestic violence. I am an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and we know that partner abuse is much more than a black eye. During the movie there is only one episode of physical violence, however we can observe throughout the movie the dynamics of power and control by the husband, through emotional, verbal, and other types of abuse. The person who wrote the previous message shows a complete lack of understanding about the impact that domestic violence has on the victim, why it is so difficult to break with cycle, the challenges that women face when they try to leave (including the fear of retaliation). Don't forget that 75% of women killed by their partners were murdered after they left the relationship. By leaving, women are taking a great risk. I think this movie is very realistic and the actors do a great job. I highly recommend it.

The best I can say in favor of this film is that I came out of the cinema with terrible back pain because I had been so extremely tense while watching it. The actors are absolutely brilliant, communicating all that needs to be told, and the plot is never simplistic.

Most European social cinema seems influenced by Ken Loach's movies and this one is no exception. The way time passes slowly and characters try hard to improve their situation reminds a lot of Loach's "Sweet Sixteen", among others.

If there is any weakness to the movie is that I can't say if people who do not share the director's opinions on gender violence would appreciate this movie as much as I have.

There are for sure many other films dealing with domestic violence, but I bet no one is better than this one.

This is something that is said to happen quite often in Spain and the movie was shot in order to sensitize people for this issue and to bring to talk about it. It is the story of an ill jealous man, full of complex of inferiority, terrorizing his wife and son.

I loved the love scene between both, where he makes her repeat that she gives all her body to him (Te doy mis ojos, te doy mi boca etc.). It shows perfectly the mental state of the husband who sees his wife as his property.

This was as well an excellent performance of Laia Marull and Luis Tosar.

Writer-director Iciar Bollaín's film, TAKE MY EYES (Spain 2003) is full of boldness and nuance, approaching 'full frontal' (almost a pun here) the delicate 'taboo' subject on spouse abuse in love and marriage. The exceptionally talented and selfless portrayal of the couple by Laia Marull as Pilar (the young wife/mother) and Luis Tosa as Antonio (the husband/abuser) made their scenes together - both the tender moments and violent events, convincing and complete. It's heartbreaking to see these two people who could be so in love (felt through the intimate lovemaking scenes, the calm moments they enjoy each other by the river) yet juxtaposed by the traumatic turn of events (seen through the 'explosive' frightful situations). Bollaín, with Marull and Tosa, did not shy away from the volatile subject and key scenes - it is no doubt devastating to behold yet the impact of the situation is truly felt and may also leave us shaking. Kudos to such giving and fearless performances and production decisions.

The Toledo, Spain, locales (especially by the river and bridge) seen in the film are as beautiful as I visited in Fall 2003. I remember the museum where Antonio waited outside for Pilar. He tried. He wanted to be a loving husband to her, but he couldn't help himself. It almost seem like uncontrollable 'alcoholic dependency', his jealous rage generated from fear of losing Pilar, whom he believes he loves in his own possessive ways. While Pilar also tries. She practically loses herself in trying to please Antonio and be 'blinded' by his waves of tenderness towards her. She's struggling to be a good wife and responsible mother to their little boy. She's also trying to find herself through the process.

I recall the wisdom from poet Kahlil Gibran's book "The Prophet" on Marriage: yes, you shall be together forever more, but there should be spaces in your togetherness. "Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts." And on Love, that it does not possesses, Gibran said: "And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."

TAKE MY EYES gives us a rare chance to observe closely the various aspects/perspectives of a domestic violence situation, and offering viable option on the part of the woman. It may not be an easy film to watch due to frank emotional depiction, but it is superbly delivered by a fantastic cast besides Marull and Tosa. The script, co-written by Bollaín and Alicia Luna, contains supporting storyline (including a wedding and Scottish bagpipes and kilts - cultural diversity, girl talk, men talk, laughs and heartaches). Production is excellent in every respect: cinematography, editing, art direction, music score, sound and all. Highly recommend this film, with no hesitation.