Clerks.

I saw the 'Clerks' sitcom. It was horrible. It takes place in a shopping mall food court and has absolutely nothing to do with the original 'Clerks' movie. Jay and Silent Bob are not in the show. The set and costumes looked like they were straight from 'Saved by the Bell' with their nasty bright colors. The plot was pretty much like any American sit-com. Dante was a whiny loser and Randal was the comic relief. There is no references to alcohol, cigarettes, sex, dead people or accidental sex with dead people. I really wish I taped it because it aired only once and I doubt that the entire show even exists in one piece anymore. I would like to have a copy to show kids some of the things we had to live through in the '90s.

A slacker works at a convenience store with two other slackers who might actually be even dumber and more annoying than he is. The slacker is considering getting a better job, as his father keeps pushing him to make something of himself....but down deep he likes being a complete loser.

"Clerks" is a show named after the famous independent film, though the characters are different...and really, really annoying. So annoying that you can see why the networks refused to approve this for a series. There were two MAJOR problems with the show...the characters were completely unlikable and the writing was, at its best, craptastic. Rarely have I seen a failed pilot that screamed "I know why this one was NOT picked up" like "Clerks".

Set at a shopping center consisting of convenience store Rose Market, video store Videos & More, and an Ice Cream stand, the show follows a trio of clerks for the stores Dante (Andrew Lowery) at the Rose Market, Randall (Jim Breuer) at Videos & More, and Todd (Rick Gomez ) at the ice cream stand. The trio are content to do the bare minimum for minimum wage, but Dante's girlfriend, Veronica (Noelle Parker ), wants him to try and make something of himself.

Released in 1994, Clerks, a little Indie title following the misadventures of two minimum wage clerks dealing with the tedium of working jobs where there's little to no thought became a breakout sensation. Made for around $27,000 ($250,000 after post), the movie made $3 Million in theatrical receipts from its acquisition by Miramax, and garnered critical and audience praise for its unapologetically vulgar and true to life dialogue that contemporary critics such as Gene Siskel compared favorably to Quentin Tarantino and David Mamet. Thanks to a clause in the distribution agreement the door was left open by Miramax owner Disney to adapt concepts and characters to other mediums such as TV. Produced roughly one year after the film's release, the pilot comes to us from Touchstone Television and produced and created by Richard Day of Ellen, Roseanne, and Mad About You, being adapted by sitcom people, the show while keeping the setting and characters changes them to fit the format and loses their appeal in the process.

From the opening where we're introduced to Randall, Dante, and new addition Todd, it's clear these are not the same characters as the movie. Dante doesn't carry the same exasperation as he did in the film and is much more content and is basically played by Andrew Lowery as a laid back slacker. Randall while still an abrasive character who delights in picking fights with the customers no longer has the airs of intellectual superiority he held over the customers and has been reformatted as a spastic weirdo, Todd is basically here to serve as a replacement for Jay and Silent Bob who's characterization as Drug Dealers didn't mesh with ABC's standards and practices and Todd is basically the "dumb one" of the group and has no real character other than being a slower version of this show's Dante. Noelle Parker is okay playing Dante's girlfriend Veronica, but the script is so bereft of the original film's bite that the edge from her character doesn't come through like it did in the movie.

The plot is a standard sitcom plot where there's a guy who's the same age as Dante who Veronica knows and Dante works up a scheme to take him down only for Dante to learn a lesson at the end, and it's just not all that interesting. The biggest appeal of the Clerks movie was that it felt like the characters were people you could realistically see working in those jobs (as I'm sure many of us have). At no point do the characters in Clerks the TV pilot feel "real", and from it's canned laughter to it's garish color pallet there's a reasons the show is colloquially known as "Saved by the Clerks"

The 1995 Clerks pilot isn't offensively awful, it's just standard bad sitcom. The only reason this has had the curiosity it does is because of it's association with a beloved film. The fact they thought a movie like clerks could be shoehorned into a sitcom template is an error in judgment but considering it never went to series someone had a realization. Another Clerks show, Clerks: The Animated Series would be developed 4 years later by franchise creator Kevin Smith and while it does diverge even further from the format of the movie, it is at least aware of it and makes the exaggerations and divergences a running joke in the series.

Well it was very cheap set, "Saved by the Bell" type sets (That was Brian O'Halloran quote) and was horrible.

They ditched Jay and Bob, added other reoccurring clerks like the ice cream man and took everything good out of clerks and added in plots that involved like people in the store talking about their lives and horrible lines like that.

It was awful and if your lucky you can find the 3 minutes of footage running around the net somewhere.

Well "lucky" isn't really the right word. But yeah, After Miramax sold the rights to WB, WB then sold them out again for a sitcom. The sitcom was made into a pilot that Brian, Jeff, and Marlin tried out for and got rejected. Horrible, Horrible stuff.

I'm not quite sure how this would even work, but this sitcom pilot was made without prior knowledge (let alone consent) of Kevin Smith. He did write and direct the movie this is supposedly based on, but informing him about this spin-off seemed a bridge too far. In all fairness though: this barely has anything to do with the movie, which begs a lot of questions. "Clerks" was an underground hit, but is it really so famous that merely using its name gets you great ratings? And wouldn't actual fans of the movie turn this of after five minutes, noticing that the only thing it has in common is a store setting and characters named Dante and Randall (they don't even have Jay and Silent Bob)? There are really only two quite fascinating things about this pilot. The constant waves of canned laughter after lines you didn't even identify as jokes, and the fact that SNL alumnus Jim Breuer is in this playing Randall. Apart from that, this might just be the longest half hour of your life.