The Gingerdead Man

Before I get blasted, I want to acknowledge that I am familiar with Full Moon films and have seen quite a few over the years (the 'Trancers' series is among my favorites), but 'The Gingerdead Man' was an unfortunate mess. There are pros and cons, though... and believe it or not, the killer cookie (looking very much like it's made of rubber) is the best part.

I've become a fan of Gary Busey in his "is he insane?" recent years, so his presence either in live form or vocally as a cookie is really amusing. The other actors aren't as bad as one might expect, either. But everything else in the film drags and drags and draaaaaaags, not to mention the production budget appears to be under $100 (check out the bakery sign that looks like it was painted for a junior high pep rally). I know these flicks are self-financed, and that's a great thing, but there wasn't much to work with.

The movie clocks in at around 60 minutes, so for there to be so many slow spots (i.e., scenes sans cookie) it was difficult to watch. Will this be a cult classic? Yeah, probably, just given the featured actor and the premise. But it's just not very good, even by Full Moon's standards.

With a title like that, and the premise being a walking/talking/killing cookie, I think most viewers will picture this movie being a (black) comedy. And it could have worked - I thought that the original "Jack Frost" movie, about a killer snowman, worked. But in this case, NOTHING works. The movie is really cheap, looking like a backyard production made in the 1980s and shelved for twenty years without any restoration. There's also a minimalist feel, with barely enough props and scenery, all looking very unconvincing. Gary Busey just seems to be going through the motions, with the scene he actually appears in as well as voicing the killer cookie. The supporting cast comes across as even worse, if that's possible, not helped by a script that makes them the stupidest characters I've seen in a movie for a long time. And even though the movie barely lasts 60 minutes (not counting the s-l-o-w closing credits), it goes by at such a slow pace that it feels endless. This movie actually has spawned two sequels, making me conclude that it was even cheaper than I thought, since I can't see most people liking this movie.

What is it that makes this Charles Brand tick away? This guy is like the not-quite-as-talented step-son of Roger Corman, producing hundreds of films, very few of them people actually probably legitimately like with a straight face (let alone those he might have, heaven forbid, directed). I didn't know this until I a) looked him up on IMDb, and b) was subjected to The Gingerdead Man, one of his recent, um, "features". I bought it thinking I'd get some laughs, after all it's hard to not find the prospect of a Chucky-style killer in the form of a Gingerbread Man (voiced by Gary Busey himself) quite tempting as a truly fun bad movie. But I didn't expect it to be this boring, this absolutely dreadful, so abysmally acted to the point where I wished my own bed-ridden Grandmother could walk on to the set and wipe the floor with these other "actors" with her own non-existent acting chops.

Oh sure, Brand *tries* to put a story together, something close to it I suppose, involving a bakery called, um, "bakery", and how it is under threat from a Mondo Burger style competition of a new bakery across the street and how the workers cant seem to cope and, uh, work into the late hours of the night and then one of them cuts his finger and so conveniently blood drips into the flour and the electricity goes off on.... damn, you get the idea. What little hope I had for the movie, perhaps from the trailer, was moot. Brand probably does know how to put together a trailer for a movie - looking at the one for this and a couple other "Full Moon" productions on the DVD it looks like that is their real metee - but the actual film is um... a film? More like a string of terrible, inexcusable and inconceivably written scenes strung together by wretchedly done "attacks" from the pastry on his dumb-as-wood victims. The only thing more stupid and ridiculous is how the poor little feller meets his/its end.

I wish I could recommend this, I wish I could say this is the "shiznit" of killer-whatever movies that you can turn off your brain and enjoy as fun schlock. I can't, in good conscience, ever do that. If it weren't for Gary Busey's little bits of "WTF-ness", I might have come close to slitting my wrists and swearing a life of nothing but Ozu and Bergman for the rest of my life.

"The Gingerdead Man" has a promising plot, and thinking that it would be similar to such gems as "Jack Frost", I decided to rent it from Netflix. My rental would have been better used elsewhere.

So, here's the plot. Gary Busey, playing a psychotic killer guy, gets sent to the electric chair because of one girl's testimony. See, this girl's brother and father were killed by Psycho Busey, and because Busey didn't kill her, the girl testified against her.

Well, one night, the said girl is making a gingerbread cookie in her little bakery (that looks so rundown from the front that you wonder why anyone would ever go in there) and somehow the cookie comes to life. Now if you read the plot line on the Netflix sleeve, it says that Psycho Busey's ashes found their way into the cookie. Apparently if you cook ashes in an oven, they come back to life in the form of whatever they're in. But you don't go into movies about killer cookies looking for plot lines.

Unfortunately, "The Gingerdead Man" doesn't have anything to offer. Sure, there's Gary Busey in cookie form, and he's good for a few laughs, but the VAST majority of the movie is just filler. The 60-minute running time (does that really qualify this as a real movie?) seems like 2 hours, because most of the movie is just people running around the bakery going "what is that thing", "I think it's Gary Busey", and "well, let's run away". Except they don't run away, even if they could have easily just tore out of the bakery and ran to safety.

Ultimately, the killer cookie plot can't save this dull, horrible movie that looked like it was made for $20. Seriously, I could make this movie. It isn't even the low budget that does it in, it's the fact that the movie is just dull, it has no even somewhat cool kills and there's just not enough killer cookie goodness. I was expecting a "so bad it's good" movie, but I just got a really, really bad movie that wasn't even unintentionally funny. Disappointment.

I went into this expecting something similar to Jack Frost, the killer snowman movie. While Jack Frost was obviously a low-budget slasher flick, it was very funny. The humor was the point. In this flick, I'm quite confused as to what the point is. The story is terrible, and major plot points are plodded through just because something had to be explained.

The Gingerdead Man character lacks any humor, and the few attempts come up short. In addition, almost the entire movie takes place inside a small bakery. How much hiding, running, and action can play out here without anyone getting away? This movie had lots of potential. The premise was great, but it needed more development and better writing.