Feeders 2: Slay Bells

Holy... They made this one even cheaper than the first! I'm not kidding here. This time the barely mobile aliens look like papier mache over lightbulbs! The acting is just as bad, the story just as lame. Worst part: there are flashbacks from feeders! Thanks to Mike, Kevin and Bill this is watchable. Still utterly horrible, but still funny as hell thanks to rifftrax.

You've seen Feeders and you think to yourself, what a wonderful world. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, a sequel-urge is nipping at your nose.

Well this ain't no winter wonderland, Jack. This is a coal burning furnace spitting the fiery flames of futility at your dismayed visage.

Yes, Feeders 2 is a sequel in every sense of the word. The Feeders are back, and this time Santa joins the fray. A nice little asynchronous segment featuring a character from the first Feeders is thrown in, apparently to stun and confuse the audience. Then it gets worse. Once the nerve endings gain sensation again, there is nothing but pain.

The best scene is where a guy goes into his basement, then into his basement's basement, then apparently into his basement's basement's sub basement to get killed by a Feeder.

And at one point someone thinks a Feeder is a toy.

Well that's a no-brainer, they look that fake.

Gone is the delirious Ed-Wood-Meets-Larry-Flint fun of the original feeders, and as a retread, this film gets a flat tire. Where Feeders fed, even though this movie is led to the same watering hole, it poops instead of feeds. You can lead a dead sequel out to pasture but you can't make it drink from the fountain of its own futility. No sir, you take that unpleasant pull off the tap of tepidness by your lonesome if you see this film.

Where is the fun? In the sub-sub-basement. Where is the acting? The only acting in this film is the fast-acting damage inducing effects of seeing the acting of the the tortuous kids, kids that would make you take your own life if they were your kids. If they were someone else's kids that you only saw once in your life, you might take your life just to show your support that the parents should take their own lives.

If you see this movie, don't take your own life. Hasn't the movie done enough? Just vomit, shake it off, and seek therapy.

Feeders 2 picks up where Feeders left off, at the top of the urinal bowl. Then it plunges right in and you flush away 90 minutes of your life.

Now, I never saw the original- aside from the flashback segment that rehashes footage from the original- but from what I gather, this is a D-grade, straight-to-video release that is all sorts of cheese.

Basically, a family is about to settle down for the night on Christmas Eve, when they are attacked by a bunch of small aliens who have an insatiable taste for blood.

After killing and consuming the neighbours, they start to hone in on the family, which is the family of one of the characters from the original film (or so I gather, at least).

All before they knock Santa out of the sky, as he was passing over their house.

Despite the behest of his family, the man risks his life to "save Santa".

Which is a little odd, as he is back in fighting shape as soon as he gets into the house.

Leave it to Santa to save the day...

Terrible acting aside (other than the kids, bless their souls), the aliens are hilariously bad puppets.

Actually, they are kind of cool when their limbs are being animated...but their faces are just so so bad.

If you can manage to ignore everything that sucks about this film (which is most of it, to be fair)...it does has a sort of charm to it.

Almost as if it was made by one family as a project over Christmas, or something.

I'm not goiong to lie...if you can sell yourself that lie, it's much more palatable than knowing people went through considerable effort to make this "vision" a reality.

You'd think they had no budget at all, if it weren't for the fact they are rocking some fledgling cgi graphics up in there with UFO.

All-in-all it's pretty much a bad film all-around.

But worth a watch if you are looking for some pure 90's straight-to-vhs Christmas horror cheese.

2 out of 10.

Inferior to the first offering but still a moderately entertaining SOV flick while its on. The deaths aren't as funny (though I doubt anything could top the originals iconic hospital scene), the aliens don't seem to do as much in general, and there are too many dragged-out scenes where we are shown a whole bunch of nothing. But just when you think the movie's about to derail into complete boredom, it always redeems itself with a nice alien shot, some amusing acting and dialogue, or some other entertaining stupidity.

The pint-sized aliens essentially have sticks for appendages, and their hands are stubs, yet somehow they are still able to twist doorknobs and drag a full-grown man across the floor. As with the first movie, the growling sound does start to get a bit grating after the 100th time it's used.

All the SOV staples are still there: horrible acting, horrible dialogue, horrible CGI, horrible gore, paper mache creature FX and random flatulence. The entertainment is also still there, it's just not on the level of the first. So, in short, decent but disappointing.

I recently watched Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998) on Tubi. The storyline follows an alien invasion on Christmas Eve, where Santa and his elves step in to save the day. But if they can't stop the extraterrestrials... is there any hope for humanity?

This picture is directed by and stars John and Mark Polonia-who also collaborated on Camp Murder-and also features Maria Davis (Jurassic Prey), Courtney Polonia (Nightcrawlers), and Anthony Polonia (War Raiders).

This is one of those movies that feels like it was made on a $50 budget. The aliens look like spray-painted styrofoam, and kids in art class could probably do better. The acting and storytelling are extremely amateurish, but that's part of the charm-many of the characters' reactions are unintentionally hilarious. The kills are terrible, and this might be the worst depiction of Santa you'll ever see.

In conclusion, Feeders 2: Slay Bells is a film you watch when you're in the mood for something so bad it's good. I'd give it a 4/10.