Snakehead Terror

A small Maryland town,desperate to recover from hard economic times,is under threat when voracious Snakehead fish mutate and survive previous lake chemical poisonings.Thriving on the hormones,the Snakehead fish grow to monstrous proportions,devouring everything within reach.Capable of moving and eating on land,they are forced to leave the now barren lake in a desperate search for food— animal,vegetable or human.Bruce Boxleitner(the town's Sheriff)and Carol Alt(the sexy scientist)team up to take on the snakeheads."Snakehead Terror" is mildly entertaining "Jaws" rip-off with snakehead fish instead of shark.The acting is suitably weak,but the gore effects are okay.The plot is totally clichéd and the computerized snakeheads look mediocre.Give it a look,if you need to see the perfect example of B-movie.

Nothing trumpets a movie's irrelevance louder than the inability to remember anything about it a mere few weeks after watching it. Seriously, when I started to review this I had to stop and recall whether or not I'd actually watched it yet. I thought I had, but I couldn't remember a thing about it. I finally found my notes and after reading through them all the craptitude came flooding back. I wish I had just kept those memories hidden in the recesses of my mind. Kind of like the "gym teacher incident" of '88.

This actually isn't as putrid as you might expect. But please don't take that statement as an endorsement of any kind. It's just one of those generic, low-budget movies that manages to avoid being horrible but is just too mediocre to be any fun.

There are a few moments of unintentional hilarity though. You gotta love when a teenager gets killed and his friends immediately vow revenge on the sea creature that introduced their buddy to his demise. Within a couple of minutes they're laughing and bumping fists as they set out to "even the score." Good job of completing bypassing the mourning period, guys! I'm sure y'all will have no problem defeating some creature (on his own territory, no less) that has the capability of killing humans.

Note to my friends: if you're ever killed by a shark or something then I hope you'll understand if I don't dive in the water and attempt to take the thing on by myself. I'll have to defer to the proper authorities in that case. Nothing personal.

I think my favorite part is when the teenagers are in a boat and one of the girls shoots at a snakehead fish but she shoots the engine of another boat instead, causing an explosion that kills one of her friends.

The remaining friends vowed revenge on her, laughed, and bumped fists. Or not.

Oh, and Carol Alt is another in a long line of hot biologists in bad monster movies. Gotta love the reliance on such clichés!

Welp, that's about it. The movie bored me, this review is boring me, and there's really not much else to say about it. Skip this one. I guarantee you that watching it will not add anything positive to your life. You won't be entertained, you won't walk away a better person, and you won't tell anybody, "You know, I'm really glad I watched Snakehead Terror." I simply cannot think of a single reason this might be worthy of 90 precious minutes.

THE GIST

If you happen to see this on TV one day then I highly recommend that you just keep on flippin'. I've seen worse, but this simply has nothing to offer. It's only for those of you who are really desperate for a bad movie.

First, as mentioned above, there is no place close to this in Maryland. Let's pretend that there is. Now there are these VERY slow moving snakehead fish that have zero agility and are noisy as hell, and they manage not just to sneak up on people, but in packs of ten. Even when someone sees them coming from a distance, they repeat the steam roller chase from Austin Powers, yelling "NOOOOO!!!!" while the fish crawl towards them at about 2 miles per hour.

OK, suspend the location discrepancies, and assume that the non-existent town is full of very slow deaf people. Now you still have to deal with the drawn out suspense scenes where one person is in trouble and another person has to do something to save him. The saving person inevitably takes forever to do the simplest tasks, with no explanation. Person A is suffering and person B is just about to help. Then more suffering, then person B is no closer. Back and forth, back and forth until you start rooting for the fish.

Add huge discrepancies in reality to annoyingly poor writing/editing and you have Snakehead Terror. It was so bad, I had to log on just to write a review.

mostly pedestrian directing, acting and production, but not bad for a sci-fi channel Saturday night flick.

a small fishing town is overrun with huge, crawling. killer snakeheads (how do they continue to come up with the killer animal of the week??) and it's up to the sheriff and an aging fashion model with some type of wildlife credentials to save the day. a side plot follows the sheriff's daughter and her friends fighting to keep one step ahead of the crawling monsters.

the acting talent of bruce boxleitner as the sheriff, some surprisingly good CGI killer fish and a bit more gore than is normally shown make this movie very watchable. just don't expect too much.

Yet another mutant killer fish movie. The twist this time is that they can walk on land. Gasp! What could be scarier than an overgrown, flesh eating carp dragging itself through the mud after its intended victim? Just about anything else actually.

Tired format of decent sheriff (conveniently single) teaming with smart (and sexy of course) biologist to defeat the threat, while trying to convince the hard headed mayor to close the lake etc. etc. You've seen it all before, and way better in Jaws, Piranha and so forth.

Lame special effects, poor lighting, bad acting, annoying teens...need I go on? Not an original, frightening or worthwhile moment in the whole mess.