They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore

I Just love this gore movie. Yeah sure acting is bad, blood is bad, effects Are bad but its Just a funny easy bizarro movie. I love it. I wish it had better effects.

This is a extremely low budget movie as you can guess if you've watched any of Nathan Schiff's movies. If you're looking for a movie with a plot and good acting then you're looking in the wrong place. In Schiff's previous movie "Long Island Cannibal Massacre" he presented the viewers with a plausible plot but in this one it didn't come close to that. It's amazing that Nathan Schiff didn't get one single good actor, by good i mean, someone that could at least deliver one line convincingly, that could light up a cigar naturally but no, no such luck. There's plenty of gore but personally it didn't impress me, it's so unrealistic, so fake looking that you can't associate it with real blood, real skin, guts, etc. Watch at least one Nathan Schiff movie, just to get an idea about what he's all about, maybe this one isn't the best choice.

If "The Long Island Cannibal Massacre" and particularly "Weasels Rip my Flesh" taught me only one thing, it is that you need to be in a specific sort of condition in order to truly enjoy the movies of Nathan Schiff. Clinically dead, for example, or lobotomized.

Just as its predecessors, "They don't cut the grass anymore" is a sickening and repulsive amateur splatter-movie full of misogyny and vile intentions. In fact, if the gore effects weren't so weak and pathetic, this could easily be the most disturbing horror movie in history. So far, nothing remarkable. What really amazes me, though, is that writer/director Nathan Schiff and his buddies are still incompetent and terrible at making films even though it's already their third attempt. I mean, even the dumbest and most primitive living organisms evolve and become better at what they do. This theory clearly doesn't apply to Mr. Schiff, as his third full-length film is still as lousy and inept (possibly even lousier and more inept) as the previous two. You can literally feel your brain cells dying off while watching "They don't cut the grass anymore".

Thinking up awesome and juicy titles is pretty much the only thing Nathan Schiff excels at. This is the heartbreaking tale of two hideous rednecks from Texas, Billy-Buck and Jacob, making a living as home gardeners in the state of New York. They detest rich people, and women altogether, so they go on a random killing spree. They peel off girls' faces to the skull, rip out intestines, impale their victims in the rear, blast shotgun holes in crotches, and so on, and so on... There's nothing else happening, honestly. Even though only 70 minutes long, it's a really dull experience.

Nathan Schiff's "They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore" is an extremely gory horror film about two Texas gardeners,Billy Buck(John Smihula) and Jacob(Adam Berke),who mutilate yuppies.The film mixes the gory imagery with broad comedy.The gore is pretty extreme and disgusting,but the special effects are really crummy,so it's hard to take them seriously.Basically various people are killed and dismembered in the variety of grisly ways."They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore" is much better than Schiff's debut "Weasels Rip My Flesh",so if you like 'em bloody give it a look.Here is my favourite gore scene:a young girl swallows a firecracker before taking a shotgun blast in her crotch!

Nathan Schiff's third film is yet another gorefest that is gloriously short (clocking in at only 70 minutes) but that's all you need b/c there is no plot and no acting chops at all. Well, actually, I can't deny that John Smihula did a decent job as the Southern hick "mastermind" who ends up killing a bunch of Northern yuppies with his deranged friend. The way he delivered his lines made the horrendous dialogue only that much funnier. More entertaining in terms of gleeful abandonment of any attempt at making a serious film. I mean the dialogue is worse than most porn movies (it's truly truly TRULY bad). The gore is impressive though yet again (taking into consideration that this is a NO-budget movie) and that's all that really matters…watching people's faces get ripped off and their intestines yanked out in gloriously fake (but utterly disgusting and vile) detail. Long live Schiff!