Tiptoes

This film premiered at Sundance and I was happy to have the opportunity to see it. I am a big fan of Gary Oldman and was looking forward to seeing him play a dwarf. The storyline was interesting; however the movie fell flat. Strangely enough, I was distracted by Oldman's portrayal of a dwarf...I kept wondering how they made him look so small instead of concentrating on the story. I never did figure out what Peter Dinklage and Patricia Arquette's characters had to do with the story; perhaps just to show that little people have relationships with "normal" size people...I don't know. I thought Dinklage, Arquette, Oldman and Kate Beckinsale all turned in good performances, but somehow all of them couldn't save this movie.

Huge disappointment. Great cast, and it started out really promising, but by the end it was total Movie of the Week. Not sure what they were thinking - the movie seemed nicely offbeat during the first half but then it got bogged down in melodrama. I learned a lot about dwarfism of course, which seems like it was the point, but I didn't enjoy the movie and that's a shame. Kate Beckinsale is a terrific actress who can move effortlessly among genres, but she is ultimately wasted here in a part that a much less talented woman could have played. It was fun to see so many well-known Little People, and they were all excellent, but not enough to save the movie. Too bad, because this could have been something special.

I'd watch anything with Matthew McConaughey. Seriously. I've seen Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, I liked it, I've seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, it was horrendous, I've seen his courtroom dramas A Time to Kill and The Lincoln Lawyer, love them. He's one of my favorite actors because no matter what genre he does, he's still entertaining as hell to watch. And don't even get me started on Gary Oldman. The Professional anyone? So when I saw the trailer for Tiptoes promising McConaughey and "a performance of a lifetime" by Gary Oldman, needless to say I was expecting greatness. Not really. But there has to be some redeeming value in a movie where two of my favorite actors play twin brothers and one of them is a dwarf, right? Well... no.

Tiptoes is exactly as terrible as you'd expect it to be. The premise alone, like who the hell thought of this? And why in god's name did McConaughey and Oldman agree to this abomination? Did they even read the script? Holy hell it's bad. It has some laugh out loud moments of course, I mean the premise lends itself to some horrifically awkward situations. One of the greatest lines in the movie is McConaughey yelling, "I'M A DWARF!" as his 6 foot tall body looms over Kate Beckinsale. It's classic. And the thing is, the acting is really good. Across the board. How they were able to deliver this dialogue with a straight face I'll never know. I can't imagine what their paychecks were.

There are some truly cringe-worthy moments in here as you can imagine. There's the whole drama over calling little people "midgets" and a pointless story between Peter Dinklage with a french accent and Patricia Arquette, as in it literally adds zero to the plot. And the ending, wow. Let's just say McConaughey got the short end of the stick.

I sat through this movie, you don't have to. Seriously the trailer goes through the entire plot, and it's infinitely funnier being 3 minutes long as opposed to a 90-minute brutal movie experience. In a way I'm glad Tiptoes was made because it's so insane and incredulous of a premise with these fantastic actors, it's like the best punchline of all time. But this movie tries to be serious, and because of that, it's painful to watch. Don't see Tiptoes.

YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE THIS MOVIE BUT IF BY CHANCE YOU MIGHT THEN YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS BECAUSE IT GIVES AWAY THE PLOT-LINE, BUT YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT ANYWAY.

If I was going to look for an actor to play a sympathetic lead role of a dwarf for a straight-up drama about `little people,' naturally I would turn to Gary Oldman. Yes, that Gary Oldman. Dracula. The Devil. Pontius Pilate. Maybe 5'11'. I guess Al Pacino wasn't available.

This is a bizarre movie. Matthew McConaughey plays Oldman's brother (not a dwarf), so this Schwarzeneggar and Devito as Twins straight up. Both McConaughey and Kate Beckinsale turn in reasonable performances, as does Peter Dinklage. (As an aside, I think this guy is a terrific actor. In both this and Station Agent, soon into the movie I quit thinking about him as a dwarf.) However, I was most enchanted by the acting of the little people in the supporting cast. They brought me inside an inaccessible subculture and often made it very comfortable and believable.

However, Bogie, Bacall and the entire cast of the Wizard of Oz couldn't rescue this movie. This is an ambitious project with an intriguing premise. And apparently, Oldman is the one that drove the project, and he wanted to play a dwarf. (The kid that has the football gets to be quarterback?) But everything else about the movie is … bad. There were times when the Sundance crowd laughed at loud at some of the directing/editing. And the script seemed to be pieced together.

More Weirdness: At the premiere at Sundance, writer-director Matthew Bright scathingly denounced the film. He didn't watch the movie and said he never will. (`It's like making love to your ex-wife.') Bright apparently got into an argument with the financier of the film over creative differences. I think what I heard is that Bright wanted to close with a love scene between Oldman (playing a dwarf) and Kate Beckinsale. I guess the money-guy just didn't think the American public was ready for this. Anyway, according to Bright, he was fired from the movie and a bunch of inexperienced hacks who know nothing about the movie business finished the film. Bright said neither he nor none of the artists were paid a dime and that they didn't support the movie. Maybe this explains why this was such a disappointing film.

I grabbed this movie based on the title and starring roles, didn't read a synopsis, or look up what it was about. I never even saw a cover as I rented it in HD on PPV. I usually do this to make a film fresh.

After the first few minutes I was thinking okay, this could be interesting, which it indeed is. The acting is a little wavy, but the story was pretty true, and par for course, McConaughey had his shirt off in the first few moments.

Then the party scene hit, and everything got very bizarre. I suppose this could be the point that the cast and directing staff gave up, or possibly someone else took over the editing console.

It was evident that a huge continuity issue with Bridget-the Midget at the party started it all off, and it got squirrelly, almost comical. It became amusing to think that Gary Oldman probably took this role to get that "actor's stretch" that seems to get Oscars for those who play mentally challenged individuals.

I gave it a 4, out of sheer camp value.