Tales from the Crapper

I saw that movie a long time ago when I was way younger, and this is frankly one of the stupidest movies I have probably ever watched. I can't hardly remember most of it as it was very forgettable, but what I remember seeing was bad.

I mean to be fair, this wasn't meant to be a serious movie as it was meant to be funny, but it just ended up being not funny in slightest coming off as idiotic instead. The only thing that managed to be funny was the name, and a character called the ' crap keeper ', and that's it, everything else was stupid.

I mean I know troma/Lloyd Kaufman can make good movies as they'd made some movies I like or found very funny, but this one? Nope, I honestly say pass on this one, and check out his other movies besides this one.

I've reviewed many films in many genres (But a lot of horror, because there is so many levels). This is flat out trash that made me angry that it ever fouled my eyes and ears. I've seen a ton of low budget films, but this is by far the worst. Acting, music, directing, script, and voice acting is just awful. It is what happens when you give a stoned teenager a camera... Perhaps someone will mention that I don't understand that this is satire, but I'm not mentally ill. Films Like Scary Movie 1 or Don't be a Menace while Drinking Juice in the Hood are solid examples of satire and spoof movies. This is just abusive to human senses. The jokes are less than Sophomoric. They are pre-school. How many times can a fart sound be used in one film? The visuals and audio are worse than the projects I made in school. Lastly, it has the cardinal sin of pretending to spoof or have any connection to Tales From the Crypt. The EC Comics are wonderful parts of our culture. The type of fun horror that can connect generations of people. Creepshow 1&2, as well as the TV show, Tales from the Crypt TV shows, and it's films are American staples. Many other films have followed in the EC Comics tradition with dignity like Cat's Eye, Tales From the Darkside movie, Trick R Treat, or even the ABC's of Death... Even if the makers want to spoof the anthology EC style, they could've reached for more quality like Tales from the Hood... The saving grace for this POS is supposed to be all the naked girls, but most of them are gross, have obvious plastic surgery, and probably are strippers in the poor sections of California. Why make your "hot girls" keep farting over and over? It wasn't funny the 1st time, and down right anger inducing the 500th time. I've never been so unimpressed. Might actually be the worst film I've ever seen. I probably spent more time and energy critiquing it than they did making it.

I can't even remember why I watched this movie in the first place. Maybe because I was searching for Tales Of The Crypt and this came up and I thought it was a funny title. Could have been because Julie Strain was in it?

From the get go, this movie has all of the things Troma films are known for - bad acting, bad scripts, dodgy camera work and lots of nudity'

The films roughly an anthology (similar to Tales Of The Crypt) of three stories that all turn bad at the end (was it ever good?). The first is about a police detective investigating murders in a strip club. The second about the first turn on. The third is about a stripper party some frat boys hold that turns horribly wrong.

The acting and story line is extremely bad. That said, it's so bad it's good. I was laughing hysterically throughout with how stupid this movie is. There's also some lovely norks to pass the time. There's some well known faces throughout.

Don't expect too much from this. If you love B grade films (this might even go as low as C or D), then sit back for a wild ride of stupidity. I'm putting in the realms of "Kentucky Fried Movie", "Poultrygeist" etc. I'm sure it was never meant to set the world on fire. I'd even watch it again for how silly it was.

Of course I had zero expectations to "Tales from the Crapper" as it was a Troma movie. I never have been a fan of that movie company. But since I had never actually seen, nor heard about, this 2004 movie, of course I opted to give it a fair chance and the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe having no less than six directors is what spoiled the movie, though not much of a testament to the directorial skills of Gabriel Friedman, India Allen, Chad Ferrin, Dave Paiko, Brian Spitz and Lloyd Kaufman

It sort of amazes med that writers Mark C. Adams, Edward Havens and Adam Jahnke collectively could muster only to compile such a pile of garbage as "Tales from the Crapper" turned out to be. Granted, I harbored zero expectations to the movie, but the stories were just laughably bad.

The acting performances in the movie were nothing outstanding. But it is impressive that the likes of James Gunn, Eli Roth and Julie Strain actually opted to participate in this rubbish.

The movie's cover was actually the best thing about this travesty of a movie.

My rating of "Tales from the Crapper" lands on a one out of ten stars. The tales should have stayed in the crapper.

"Tales from the Crapper" is gory, disgusting, tasteless, offensive, lowbrow and scatological. But that's OK, I was prepared for all that from my previous Troma experiences. What I WASN'T prepared for is that it's also witless, unfunny and boring. Very little of the genuine anarchic spirit of films like "Class of Nuke'em High" has remained intact; in its place, we get ENDLESS fart jokes (to the point where you start wondering if Lloyd Kaufman is going senile, thinking that adults find loud farting so darn hilarious!) and a cynical, shameless exploitation of the viewer, who is essentially investing time and money to see a "film" that even Kaufman himself seems to know should never have been released in the first place. Oh yes, there is plenty of female nudity on display, but let's face it: the average porn film probably offers a better storyline, higher production values, funnier humor, and above all more RESPECT for its intended viewer than this atrocity.

P.S: Kelly Powers AKA Suzi Lorraine (the blonde lesbian student in the "How to make your own movie" segment) is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.