Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike

I never heard of the elf bowling games until like last year, and I came from the 90s. The game clearly looks ridiculous and like nothing really happens, but it also looked kind of funny. Not technically something that would be made into a kids movie though...

I found it on Amazon Prime Video with it's glorious 1.7 glory rating, but I figured I'd check it out...not once but twice. Yes TWICE!!! The movie was so boring that I couldn't even stay awake during its hour and a half long duration. The plot is stupid (to be honest, I still never knew what the damn plot was), the pacing is annoyingly slow, and none of the characters are likeable. Not only are the characters unlikable and unfunny, but their stupidity gives me a HORRENDOUS headache. The villian of the movie, Dinkle, had been a sly fox for 1400 years, and when random stuff happens, NO ONE FOR SOME REASON THINKS "OH MAYBE IT'S DINKLE AGAIN!!" But that would make too much sense and the movie can't make sense because then it will be too short, AND WE CAN'T HAVE OUR MOVIE BE SHORT!!

This is a damn Christmas movie based on a deadass video game, but I literally forgot about the so called "elf bowling" plotline...(sigh). The animation is tolerable and not too insulting despite the characters looking like creepy early CGI models...wait what year this came out again? Meh I don't care. The voice acting is not terrible, but it IS annoying. Every character, except maybe Lex (the magic ball elf), sounds incredibly annoying. That's more of my personal nitpick because I've heard less annoying voices in Spongebob Squarepants...(I made the reference because Tom Kenny plays Dinkle...).

This is a kid's movie sure, but this is not something I would recommend parents to show their kids. Not only is the movie terrible, but it's also an insult to children's intelligence and it's very boring. I personally think this was made for money, because the creators did not care. I'd taken creepy stop-motion Christmas specials before this anyday.

Oh there's sex jokes somewhere in there too...

This is like a chick flick but instead of smoking hot babes its a munchkin and a fat guy

Seriously how did this film get greenlit? What were the producers thinking/smoking? There is no real reason to make this. I can fathom films made based on Mario, Sonic, Donkey Kong, or Star Fox but why this? Seriously it was based off of Elf Bowling an online game in 1998 that was renowned for being among the worst. Yet it worse because the story is barely based on what flimsy material it is and there's so many lame scenes and bland song and dance numbers that stretches the time making it not only longer but seem longer than it really is. It all starts off with Santa as a pirate and his brother Dingle getting kicked off their ship, freezing, and thawed by elves. Dingle wants to be in charge and challenges Santa to a game of bowling and Dingle wins by cheating (using penguins in place of elves). Then the plot turns south with the elves being moved to Fiji and involving talking statues. Then a rematch happens and oh heck is this beyond stupid. The characters are ugly and one dimensional, the animation lacking, the story is abysmal beyond comprehension, nor is the dialogue or voice acting worthwhile. If any good came out of it, it's that a Halloween sequel was cancelled due to this lame excuse of this movie's even lamer performance. If anyone is going to make a movie based on any videogame, base it on something well known and good. This should be a chapter in how to not make a movie.

Its a good in joke between your friends. Oh, and I guess don't ever ever do anything remotely similar to this.

There can be only 1 elf bowling movie.

This movie is like a chick flick except instead of smoking babes, dude, it's a munchkin and fat guy. *cries*

Seriously, this movie is garbage. Don't watch it