Time of Her Life

I usually love ghost stories, but this was dire.

To begin with, in parts of this film I got the impression that someone on the crew had watched 'Moondial' one too many times and decided to make an adult version. So frankly, not even particularly original.

Then there's the lead actress. I've seen better in school plays - wooden, unattractive and looked continually puzzled throughout the entire film.

It has the feel of something shot by a group of friends with a hand-held video camera - so amateurish it's ridiculous. Is this a student film project? If so, I don't know what it's doing listed here.

If you're thinking of watching it - seriously, don't waste your time.

The film is bad on virtually every level-even student films run circles around this for quality. The dialogue and acting is dire. The exposition dumps are hilarious. Virtually all the actors seem to be just reciting lines into space, there is no sense that they are talking to each other or have any sense of timing. The lighting fluctuates wildly. The tone flicks all over the place and the lead actress can't decide whether to be chummy with the ghosts or terrified- so she goes back and forth throughout the film. She also receives and forgets information consistently- maybe the script changed throughout filming. If I had to hear the fake asthmatic gasp of the lead one more time, I might have had an asthma attack myself. It's completely inaccurate as to English inheritance law and just generally doesn't make much sense. Part of the reason my review is so harsh is that I am very leery of all the 10 star reviews- an adoring mother wouldn't be able to give this 'baby' more than a 6 and an honest review is truly a 1.

"A REAL GHOST CAPTURED ON FILM" trumpets the front cover. "WAS IT ONE OF THE STARS AFTER SEEING THE FINISHED PRODUCT, HAUNTING THE SET OF WHAT DROVE HIM TO THE EDGE OUT OF SHAME". I ask. But I kid... Suicide is no laughing matter... so don't do it. There are people who love you, the Samaritans are only a phone call away, it'll take ages for your mum to clean the bathtub... etc. But IF there was a good reason for taking the ultimate step, being part of this... THING must rank somewhere between your family discovering you're a poultry molestor, or that you have all of Shaking' Stevens back catalogue in your collection.

I have to ask... Is this a joke? When they picked these actors, who must rank among some of the WORST I've ever seen (they can't even smile convincingly) was it because they paid into the project, or the casting director had a LOT of extended family members? And as for the dialogue... Jeez. It starts off like a bad episode of Eastenders, then we get the historical flashbacks... And it starts to resemble a REALLY bad Jane Austen adaptation. (Apologies for linking the great lady's name with this tripe). Seriously, if you set up a cringe-o-meter for the lines here, it would be off the scale every 10 seconds.

AHA you might add, it may be a boil on the bum of Satan, a complete disgrace to the film industry and anyone with a brain, but at least it's good for a few unintentional laffs, right? Well... Yes, and no. Yes, in that there are some choice moments here which'll have you rolling in the aisles, but having to tolerate the rest of the crap that is bundled along with it... I don't think so.

I'm thinking back to that supposed spectre "CAPTURED ON FILM", and I have another theory. Could it be... Jeremy Beadle playing a gag on us all from the afterlife? Did the spook have a big bushy beard, and was he carrying a microphone? If it was indeed the prankster himself, than THAT WOULD EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!! Making a fake movie... that must rank as one of his most audacious set-ups yet. Of course... anyone who's watched it would figure it out immediately... NO-ONE would spend money on making something as shoddy as this. Right? RIGHT?! 0/10

A very good first effort from this director. Surprisingly good in fact given the extremely limited budget. Amazing that they managed to make a film at all, not least of all one this good. Good solid acting as well. Decent camera-work, and the soundtrack is really good as well. The story is also fairly good. This sort of project should be an inspiration to all young budding actors and directors. And it makes you wonder what these multi million pound sets spend all their money on. All in all this is a surprisingly good film given how much was spent on it. I expect future projects, with more money, will be extremely successful. I eagerly await the next film. Apparently it's another thriller.

Frankly I'm rather incensed that on the basis of the dazzling reviews attributed to Steven Smith I wasted nearly two hours on his debut offering. Have they all been written by his pals? The action clunks along, the music is irritating and over used, the script is simply dire and the actors (with the exception of the gardener) mediocre at best. I do think we should support the efforts of a young filmmaker but saying it's brilliant when it's not will surely only encourage him to make the same mistakes again i.e. continuing to write his own scripts and using the same actors for another venture. Yes, it's his first film, low budget etc. - I get it, but it's also out there for members of the public to purchase and it's just not up to scratch.