Painkiller Jane

While this is clearly not in the same league as the usual SciFi Saturday night godawful piece o'junk, with much better production values (not Bulgaria? sonofagun!) and decent acting, the story itself was a complete snore. Not an original concept in the whole thing and it just dragged on for two hours without anything really happening. Yeah, she's cute, yeah, she looks nice in leather, but Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ooops, sorry, dozed off.

I spent two hours waiting for something, anything, to happen. Oooh, goodie, a shootout. Now there's an original concept, and certainly one worth waiting for. And, ooooh, the suspense is killing me. Is she really dead? If this was a pilot, I'm not too curious about the show. If it wasn't a pilot, there's no excuse for the utter lack of story.

After watching a few episodes of the recent TV series, I expected the worst. However, this movie (the original) was surprisingly different and better. All the actors are different and the plot is actually interesting.

Basically, the story is about a female soldier who has an unexpected reaction to a chemical agent. She gains regenerative and some sort of perceptual power. The military wants to seclude, study and use her ... but she's more interested in finding out what and who is responsible for what happened to her.

The film is reasonably well acted and the plot is interesting. Her quest to find a diabolical foreign scientist who is as surprised at her situation as she is ... is interesting. Plus, he's not quite as far away as one might think.

If you're looking to pass time with a semi-decent "made-for-TV", B-level sci-fi movie, this might work for you.

QUICK REVIEW:

Okay, maybe a 10 is a bit high, but the rating is unbelievably low! Painkiller Jane delivers an unoriginal movie about someone that gets exposed to a biochemical weapon that lets her have self-healing powers. The military tries to get her so they can cure her, but also wants to get her back under their security. Not too bad a plot, am I correct? Yes, however, it is predictable and the story is unoriginal. But that doesn't mean this is a bad movie! You won't like it if you hate cheesy movies, however, if you like cheesy movies, go grab some popcorn and enjoy this film! It's more of a cheesy popcorn movie, and it is a bit too fast paced a lot through out the movie. If this movie was a bit slower, I'd rate it a 6.6/10. But, because it's really fast paced, I rate it 6.2/10.

Yep. That review sure was short. However, I'm a bit busy right now, so maybe I'll edit the review later.

For SyFy original movies Painkiller Jane is quite good. Most SyFy movies are garbage, but there are some tolerable ones out there and Painkiller Jane is one of them, in fact I'd go to say that it is also one of their better ones overall. And it is much better than the series that followed, which I never got into in all honesty. Sure the film is flawed, I didn't care for the twist ending, which was predictable and rather obvious, or for the rather clichéd villain and his motivations. The story is a good idea generally and has some good moments like some tense action, but the middle section does see it not as focused narratively and somewhat draggy in pace sometimes. Conversely, I actually found the filming to be quite good, I personally find the criticisms of jerky camera shots to apply to the series more than here, here it is much less hackneyed than most SyFy movies. The settings are less drab here too. Thankfully there is less of an emphasis thrown-in special effects, what effects there are are not that great but there have also been worse. The music is lovely, while most of the characters don't feel like underdeveloped props like they did in the series. The script is a mixed bag, again an improvement on most SyFy movies, there is evidence of wit and tension, but there are also bits that could have flowed better and felt rather forced. The acting is better than average and much more natural. Emmanuelle Vaugier is a beautiful woman and suitably charismatic and gritty, much more of a leading lady than the series' lead Kristiana Loken. In conclusion, a watchable movie that even with its flaws is better than most SyFy original movies and the series. 6/10 Bethany Cox

This is a reasonable TV pilot. I would even watch the series if only the SciFi channel would hire a military consultant to sufficiently cultivate the illusion of realism.

Here are my military complaints: (1) The uniforms do not match the depicted branch of service. (2) The mixed-gender assault element in the beginning of the film is unbelievable. (3) The Aliens-style crab-walk-with-a-rifle does not pass even school-children's idea of tactical muster.

The protagonist is believable in other respects, not to mention physically attractive without crossing the 1950's Amazon Action Heroine threshold. The directing seemed inspired, the casting excellent, and the acting well above the level demanded by the mediocre script!

Ich_Yama's SciFi-meter:

(BBB: 1 primary character)

(BEM: None)

(World: Present/near-future)

(Preference: Conspiracy theorists)