The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

This movie is not likely to win (or be nominated for) any awards. But that does not change the fact that it was an amusing distraction for the children. It seemed to be a variation of Galaxy Quest, which was a fun movie itself. This, of course, was more kid-oriented, and my three children (ages 3, 6, and 9) all enjoyed the show - the 9 year old enjoyed it in spite of himself.

It was a cute movie with a positive message that used humor to advance the story as opposed to a movie that makes up a story to move from pratfall to pratfall. It's a rare treat in movie-making these days, and one that is worth checking out - at a matinée.

I took my three year old daughter to the theatre to see this movie this afternoon. I've heard criticism of it for not having an explicit enough Christian theme - the Veggie Tales are, after all, a Christian outreach ministry to children. Some seem to think they've "crossed over." For those not familiar with that term, from a Christian point of view, a "cross over" is a Christian entertainer - usually a singer - who moves to the secular side of the entertainment world. Elvis Presley (from gospel singer to king of rock and roll) is probably the best known cross-over. The Veggie Tales crew probably left themselves open to that charge by doing an essentially secular Saturday cartoon for NBC. Having watched this movie, though, I think that particular criticism is unfair. It's true that Christian content isn't explicit in this movie, but it's certainly there. There are constant references to help from above; there's the king who tells the "heroes" that he'll always be with them; the same king looks out for widows and orphans; and there's the over-arching theme of the movie, which is that even little guys like Larry the Cucumber and Pa Grape can become big heroes, a la David and Goliath. So, if you get the analogies, you get the Christian content, much like C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia.

It wasn't the content that was the problem here. The story is about 3 unlikely heroes somehow going back in time to help rescue a kidnapped princess. The title comes from a "Silly Song by Larry" in one of the VT videos. It's cute, a bit scary at times for wee ones and promotes good values. But the problem as I see it is that Veggie Tales was never intended for the big screen. The videos are fairly short and usually include 3 or 4 different items - stories, songs, etc. The movie essentially takes one theme and goes with it for about an hour and twenty minutes, which is probably too much for the audience of little kids that were present while I was there. I think this was a decent effort to bring the Veggie Tales sense of values to the movies, but I don't think I'd want them to do it again. 6/10

Positives: An above average kid movie, with enough adult references to keep the parents interested. Not as hyperactive a movie like other modern movies aimed at children, a plus. A decent moral message.

Negatives: For those expecting a biblical message, as with other VeggieTale productions, you will be disappointed. There are analogies to biblical themes, but nothing explicit. The idea of the "helpseeker" floating golden ball, a major element in the movie, which is a magical device that helps and guides the main characters throughout, had a sci-fi, mystical aspect to it. The very idea of a "helpseeker" was against the very character of what I had come to expect from past VeggieTales productions.

As a kids movie, I would give it a 7. But for those expecting a VeggieTales biblical message, look elsewhere. My disappointment over the moderation of their message reduces my rating.

Great movie for the whole family. There is no crude jokes or swearing! Has a witty plot and lovable characters. I only wish the movie had more songs. VeggieTales movies usually have lots of songs! Anyway, it's still is a wholesome, clever and cute little film. There was even some jokes that adults could only get, like gags about the "Love Boat" and stuff. But, it didn't have Bob the Tomato, in the movie until the very end. That was too bad because Bob is my favorite character. My favorite part is at the end when the "Rock Monster" music video plays. It's really funny. Overall, I recommend this film for anyone who wants to see a harmless and witty movie about talking vegetables. Enjoy!

Um. Idk why this thing exists. It's funny. Has some good themes ig. It's a VeggieTales movie tho. Hmmmmm 52/100

#44

Reviewer name and watch date: Andrew Thorpe, 6/22/2022, Wed.

Movie title and release year: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,, (2008)

52/100, E-

1a - Attraction value - upon first contact, is the idea appealing?: 4/10 1b - Attraction value - cast, plot, series, other medium influence?: 6/10 2a - Acting - casting - lead, supporting, villain, etc: 5/15 2b - Acting - character interaction, emotional connection: 9/15 3a - Dialogue - use for moving plot forward, nuance: 7/10 3b - Dialogue - writing quality, profanity, comedy: 12/15 4a - Plot - logical within universe, easy to follow, makes sense: 10/15 4b - Plot - quality, is it a good plot? Too long, unique?: 10/15 5a - Themes & motifs - symbolism, strong impressions: 12/15 5b - Themes & motifs - applicable ideas/thoughts, call to action: 5/5 6a - Cinematography - pace of editing, cuts, scene length, etc: 5/15 6b - Cinematography - angle, tone mood of shots: 5/15 7a - Effects - practical - explosions, large animals & vehicles: 4/5 7b - Effects - practical - costumes, weapons, props: 2/5 7c - Effects - practical - settings, scenery: 2/5 7d - Effects - special - CGI, green screen: 1/5 8a - Sound - score - conveying mood, determining attitude, etc: 10/20 8b - Sound - sound fx - foley, gunshots, explosions, dialogue, sound quality: 5/10 9a - Direction - quality - vision, concept, should this movie exist?: 5/10 9b - Direction - choices - execution of vision, cohesiveness: 5/15 10 - Bonus - up to 30 bonus points: 5/30 Total out of 250: 129/250.