The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

In this day of incredible computer-aided animation and scripts written to keep audiences laughing, it is easy to get caught up in the quality of the production and the non-stop barrage of jokes while losing sight of another objective that a good movie for kids might—or even should—attempt to achieve: communicating the value of virtues. It is rare that a movie can pull off all three, and I have to believe that effectively communicating values (without preaching) is the most difficult of the three.

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything comes close on all three counts. The animation is good, but it does not amaze. The story has moments of laughter and emotion, but you don't end up caring about many of the characters. And it makes it clear that doing the right thing and being willing to make sacrifices for others is important and worth the effort. In the end, I was glad that my kids had been entertained while having important principles reinforced. This is truly a movie for kids from start to finish, rather than a cute story with mature humor thrown in from time to time to keep things interesting for parents who might not be able set their prurient interests aside for a couple of hours.

Now if I could just get those freaky cheese curls off my mind

I took the kids to see this one, and they all thoroughly enjoyed themselves (even the teenager!). Personally, I got a kick out of the story; with all the twists and turns, you never know what is coming next, or where it will all lead. There are realistic personal situations for our favorite veggies to deal with, plenty of action to keep things moving along, and all the laughs and silliness that we have come to expect from Veggie Tales. The moral was there, of course, presented so wonderfully and cleverly that even the secular audience grasp and appreciate the lesson. Once again, Big Idea has served us up a delightful tale for the entire family, that children of all ages can see with no worries by their parents.

Vegetables who act as if they are human (and eat vegetables of a different order).

Some of them act as pirates in a show, and become "real" pirates in just the same way, with just the same distance of abstraction.

Its complicated by the further addition of a mechanical race that emulates the vegetables (that are emulating humans). And a further magical ball that masters everything. On the other end are a herd of living cheese curls and another of boulders.

This is another of those films which have all their narrative value in the way these abstractions are drawn. The story doesn't matter in the slightest; no character matters. No "message" exists. It only has value in the way it engages the child-viewer, and the way it engages is by presenting layers of imagination, obvious methods of abstraction.

Kids used to play by imagining and acting stories. Its a value associated with inner dialog, and abstract reasoning. It is an essential life skill. Kids don't do that anymore because advertising has convinced them that play is toy-centric and stories come assembled from a store.

That opens up a need for movies that play with the abstractions of inner dialog, and visually explicable layers.

I wish they were more open, more ambiguous and child-generated. And we know enough about cognitive science to know that the age group that this targets shouldn't be watching TeeVee AT ALL.

But this IS pretty complex stuff.

For instance, they have no arms or legs, and this is dealt with differently. The arm hand operations are simply performed as if arms and hands did exist. The walking is handled quite differently, as if they really had no legs; they hop.

Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.

This movie is not likely to win (or be nominated for) any awards. But that does not change the fact that it was an amusing distraction for the children. It seemed to be a variation of Galaxy Quest, which was a fun movie itself. This, of course, was more kid-oriented, and my three children (ages 3, 6, and 9) all enjoyed the show - the 9 year old enjoyed it in spite of himself.

It was a cute movie with a positive message that used humor to advance the story as opposed to a movie that makes up a story to move from pratfall to pratfall. It's a rare treat in movie-making these days, and one that is worth checking out - at a matinée.

Um. Idk why this thing exists. It's funny. Has some good themes ig. It's a VeggieTales movie tho. Hmmmmm 52/100

#44

Reviewer name and watch date: Andrew Thorpe, 6/22/2022, Wed.

Movie title and release year: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,, (2008)

52/100, E-

1a - Attraction value - upon first contact, is the idea appealing?: 4/10 1b - Attraction value - cast, plot, series, other medium influence?: 6/10 2a - Acting - casting - lead, supporting, villain, etc: 5/15 2b - Acting - character interaction, emotional connection: 9/15 3a - Dialogue - use for moving plot forward, nuance: 7/10 3b - Dialogue - writing quality, profanity, comedy: 12/15 4a - Plot - logical within universe, easy to follow, makes sense: 10/15 4b - Plot - quality, is it a good plot? Too long, unique?: 10/15 5a - Themes & motifs - symbolism, strong impressions: 12/15 5b - Themes & motifs - applicable ideas/thoughts, call to action: 5/5 6a - Cinematography - pace of editing, cuts, scene length, etc: 5/15 6b - Cinematography - angle, tone mood of shots: 5/15 7a - Effects - practical - explosions, large animals & vehicles: 4/5 7b - Effects - practical - costumes, weapons, props: 2/5 7c - Effects - practical - settings, scenery: 2/5 7d - Effects - special - CGI, green screen: 1/5 8a - Sound - score - conveying mood, determining attitude, etc: 10/20 8b - Sound - sound fx - foley, gunshots, explosions, dialogue, sound quality: 5/10 9a - Direction - quality - vision, concept, should this movie exist?: 5/10 9b - Direction - choices - execution of vision, cohesiveness: 5/15 10 - Bonus - up to 30 bonus points: 5/30 Total out of 250: 129/250.