My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade

In my eighteen years on this earth, I have been able to see many movies, some of them great, some of them terrible. Only one of them, however, has been able to move me to tears of exultation and utter, boundless joy. That movie, my friends, is My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade. The My Little Pony series has always been known for its cutting-edge approach to film-making as it tackles tough issues and offers a refreshing commentary on surprisingly deep subject matter. Princess Promenade goes even further than its wonderful predecessors. This movie is the second coming of Christ. It is an orgasm for the senses. It is the word "perfect," transformed into an animated, watchable form. It is love itself. It is like an evolved form of oxygen that is so much fresher than a typical breath of fresh air. If you don't see this movie, you have never experienced life or seen color or felt a single genuine, worthwhile emotion. Life begins and ends with my pony friends at the peerless Princess Promenade.

I was looking for a children's movie to watch with my 4 year old daughter, had no expectations whatsoever. It simply blew me away. The characters were captivating and the story compact, touching and sweet. I am not ashamed to say I loved this movie. This is the kind of show that should be in television in place of the overtly violent, grim-dark series they usually show. If this movie ever got to the silver screen I wouldn't hesitate to go see it again and again, with or without my daughter.

To all parents looking for light hearted and emotional adventure to share with your children, this is it.

Never before has such a touching, heartwarming film succeeded so well as both a captivating family film and an epic adventure. It finds its way into the hearts of people from all walks of life and fills their soul with happiness and joy. The dialogue is spot on and surprisingly edgy for such a film - as though the writers of The Shield began writing for talking ponies. Yet it fits perfectly. You can almost imagine such words coming from the mouths of real ponies.

The cinematography was excellent. Scenic landscapes and a deep focus allow the viewer to take in the breadth and beauty of the setting and drives us closer into the Ponies' world.

The graphic sex scene was also masterfully executed, with the camera moving over our copulating couple with smooth grace and majesty as their bodies ripple and throb before us. Don't feel dirty if this scene arouses you, you are feeling exactly what the director, in what will be his most memorable credit, wants us to feel. Not since Spielberg has such a person been able to inspire such a swell of emotion in his audience members through the manipulation of two dimensional imagery.

I wasn't expecting much from a direct to video children's movie but my girlfriend really wanted to see it - she's really into kid's movies, hopefully when she hits puberty she'll grow out of it - but in this case I was pleasantly surprised. The plot it amazingly insightful without being too pretentious or condescending. If Orson Welles had made a movie about talking ponies, this is the movie he would have made. I can't recommend this movie enough. Anyone can appreciate it and it works on so many levels. The visuals are really amazing, especially considering the budget. The voice actors were all spot on. And the pacing is perfect. I was almost moved to tears by its innocent and simple beauty. I didn't want to cry in front of my girlfriend because it would have been embarrassing to cry during a pony movie, but it was just that good. Do not miss this hidden gem. If it isn't nominated for Best Animated Picture, I will be protesting The Academy Awards this year.

There's a certain measure of beauty striven for by artists in this world, a dream of absolute aesthetic perfection heretofore thought unreachable by the flawed hand of humanity. This dream has just become reality. My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade has opened a doorway to a realm of staggering beauty, one that can't be explained away with simple words. To watch this film is an experience like no other. To quaff the heady brew of its majesty is to wrap yourself in a blanket of enlightenment. You don't just see its purity, you taste it. It fills you. I am not a religious man, but this film is as close to God as one can come in this wretched world of ours.

Any attempt at analysis of how the film achieves what it does is meaningless. One can certainly break it down into its component parts, though this yields more questions than answers. (1) A narrative of staggering force and clarity. (2) Simple yet elegant camera-work, comparable to the masterworks of Ozu, yet leagues beyond even his understated beauty. (3) A swirling palette of colors, always moving yet never extravagant. (4) A troupe of actors who will accept nothing less than to become these noble beasts, to cast off the shackles of their own human identities and, through their words, conjure a kind of concentrated beauty from the very aether around them. Yet this is nothing more than a simplification--a reduction of what is by definition vast and unknowable to a straightforward list of observable attributes. MLP:TPP is so much more than the sum of its parts, and must be felt to be believed.

That this film hasn't received more critical attention is a monumental tragedy. Though perhaps... perhaps the real tragedy is within ourselves. It may be that we are simply not ready to open our hearts, let the scales fall from our eyes, and embrace the only true beauty that really exists in this world: My Little Pony.