Clementine

I felt really tense during this film, but not in a positive way. You see, I love Steven Seagal's earlier films from the late 80s and early 90s. You know, when he was thin, handsome and charismatic. His "characters" were kind of more tolerable. But, from the end of 90s and beginning of 2000s... What can I say? Extremely boring C films, straight to DVD features. Now, this is one of those rare Seagal films, very different, very rare, legendary, if you will. You don't see Steven Seagal every day in some martial arts drama, just like this one. Yep, you read that well - it's a martial arts drama. But, that doesn't mean that the movie is good, it was pretty irritating and cringing.

Our leading man is not Seagal, but a man named Kim (played by Dong-jun Lee). He is a former Taekwondo champion who retires from professional fighting to take care of his daughter. However, in order to survive, he decided to fight in illegal matches and he proves once more that he is the best. And, bunch of mobsters wants him to fight a cage champion Jack Miller (Seagal), who is, of course, being a Seagal - indestructible.

The fight scenes were solid, and that is the only thing I like here. Drama was a bit forced and cringing as hell. Steven did his typical job of being in front of the camera and playing a non-emotional badass. But, when it comes to acting - no luck. Actually, when it comes to the martial arts scenes also, you can clearly see that in most fighting scenes, Seagal uses a stunt double. The dude needs to accept that it is over for him. This film was released in 2004 and he still looked like a large, funny walrus in his close up shots. Most of other actors were Korean (well, apparently), starting with Dong-jun Lee. The man is not the best actor around. He showed some good martial arts skills, but acting... well, not that much. His accent was too strong. They could at least hire an English speaking coach to teach him how to properly pronounce English words. And of course, to avoid stereotypes. When he spoke Korean, I understood all. And I don't speak Korean. His character has only one motive and that is fine, but not enough to save the film. Our leading "actress" who plays Kim's daughter SaRang was really forced into her performance. Most of scenes were so painful to watch. OK, I understand that she is a kid and still has a lot to learn about acting and it's not her fault. I think director forced her too much and her performance turned into this ear shredding tirade. Other actors and characters didn't do much. And to mention... one of the leading mobsters and fight organizers is played by Kevin Grevioux (Raze from the Underworld films), but he was uncredited for the role. I would recognize his deep voice anywhere. But, why not credit him? Maybe he didn't want to be credited in Steven Seagal film.

There's nothing much special to say about this film, it is a really boring and irritating ordeal. You definitely have something better to do...

Clementine (2004)

This is easily the worst movie I have watched so far in Seagal's filmography, obviously a quick payday for him. He brings nothing to this except his name. He had not even appeared in it before I turned it off an hour in.

Quick synopsis the main star of the movie is a karate champion who lost a rigged fight (possibly against Seagal) I'm not 100% sure. As he is fighting this fight his wife dies during childbirth and his daughter put into an orphanage. He gets her back, stops fighting and becomes a cop. He loses that job for being too aggressive and turns to cage fighting to pay the bills!! Then in a move only a soap opera writer from Days Of Our Lives could come up with, the mother did not die and she wants her little girl back.

Forgettable.

Let's start with a warning: If you're looking to see this for Steven Seagal then rent it or borrow it do not buy it because you will be majorly disappointed. Seagal is on screen for maybe ten minutes if you include all of the shots of him on TV monitors. If you don't count the monitors its a couple of minutes less, and its a not very good fight scene.

The real star of the movie is Dong-jun Lee who is a karate champion who lost in a rigged match (which I think was against Seagal). The match occurred as his wife/girlfriend went into labor and gave birth to their daughter. The wife/girlfriend dies on the delivery table and the girl was put into an orphanage from which Lee retrieves her. Years pass and Lee becomes a cop. After he breaks heads while making a bust he is forced to retire from the force and turns to cage fighting to pay off his debts to the people who's heads he broke. He's such a good fighter (yea right) that the mob wants him to fight the world champion Steven Seagal. However in between all of that is a great deal of soap opera as the mother is found not to be dead and wants to get her little girl back (or some such nonsense).

Its awful.In between hitting the fast forward to get to something interesting and watching badly acted scenes at normal speed I sat there slack jawed at just how incredibly stupid this movie is. What kind of movie is it? Comedy? Family Drama? Its not really an action film. What is Seagal doing in this movie? If he did it for a paycheck he got all of the money. My guess is that this was suppose to be a family drama of some sort and somehow Seagal got roped in to doing a days shooting. The producers were happy because they now had a film that they could market as a Steven Seagal flick. Since there is no real release outside of Asia my guess is that anyone looking to release this saw it for what it was and dropped it. You will not be seeing this any time soon playing on American TV (or any other TV for that matter.)

Avoid this one. Its just not worth it. Yes, it has a few good moments, hence a 2 out of 10 rating, but its just a mess of a movie thats not even good enough to make fun of.

(NB:If you must see Seagals scenes fast forward to one hour and twenty three minutes in)

This is quite possibly THE worst movie I've ever seen in my life. I cannot believe all the positive reviews on this travesty of so-called 'film'. Only explanation to those reviews are that they're probably not native Korean speakers and therefore cannot comprehend what's really going on. Poor acting, poor casting, and one of the most unoriginal plot in history of movie making makes this movie a classic. Steven Seagal? Why? They spent more dough on casting him than the entire film making. Not to mention the first part of the movie... where Seagal is fighting years back... and it's somebody else! I think Seagal signed a contract where he CANNOT participate in a movie if his role plays over 5 minutes. They dubbed this garbage as a 'mixed martial arts movie' in Korea when it got all trendy all of a sudden, to target the UFC and Pride fans. What a disappointment.. There is at least one positive aspect of this film, at the end... a classic humor, I might add. Main character goes, "Taekwondo is a state of mind" with the worst Korean accent and Seagal touches his heart saying, "I know..." if this isn't the cheesiest line of all time, I don't know what is. It did make me laugh hard... so I got my money's worth on this one.

I downloaded the movie just because I am fond of Steven Seagal and watched every movie with him both in English and Russian. This one was a very emotional story rather on parenting and family issues than action and Aikido. Seagal briefly showed up in but a few episodes so this is not really a type of movie for his fans.

I never saw a single Korean movie so I was moved by the family and parenting line. Overall directorship is what they call at Yahoo! "flawed but worthy" :) Seagal's acting is rather nominal.

A minor but striking flaw of the scenario was that the Korean godfather always had a Bible with him. No logic at all because he was the bad guy and his Scripture quotes were really inappropriate. It was an apparent attack on Christianity as the Western (American/European) religion. Steven Seagal himself never used religion in diminishing terms although his own choice is rather Zen Buddhism than Christianity.

My own rating would be "flawed but worthy" while for an action movie fan, it's fairly a waste of time.