The Guatemalan Handshake

...so this one has to be quick. If you want a film that gives you titties (sideboob, nip slip, or full frontal) and explosions, there are films for you. These films will make you say, "F*** yeah!" while you quietly fart, turn over the Nova, and drink the flat Coke from yesterday's Valu-meal. If you want a film that envelopes and warms you like an old sweater while you cry as you are reminded about the boyfriend who took your b-card and then ran off with the hostess at Applebees's, there are films for you. This film will not provide you these experiences. This film will leave you wonderfully bewildered. If you're looking for the other types, get off this message board, haul your cookies to the latest Hollywood video, and pick the first thing that is eye level and shut the hell up because I've action figures to catalog and I do not have time to weed through your pseudo-film critic crap.

My favorite musical group is the incomparable Feo Y Loco -- "The World's Most Politically Incorrect Band." Among their many salaciously satirical songs is "Why Do I Need You When I've Got My Hand?" In a similar fashion one can say to Hollywood's myopic moguls "Why Do I Need You When I've Got My HANDSHAKE?" For fans of independent cinema everywhere, THE GUATEMALAN HANDSHAKE is exactly what movies should be and all too often are not.

I've long been a huge fan of Todd Rohal (you can call me Vornado if you want). His short films comprise an eclectic body of work that has been honored at film festivals from coast to coast. In this, his brilliant feature film directorial debut, Rohal once again creates a maddening milieu for a host of Felliniesque characters to inhabit. Shot in Pennsylvania, HANDSHAKE is populated with some of the most quirky, heartwarming, poignant characters this side of the Susquehanna. I call this Pocono Pathos for lack of a better description. It is, yet again, a visionary viewpoint unique to this rising star -- a Rohalian world of folksy fun and fastidious fantasy where the Tilt-O-Wheel is probably the only thing seen on the level.

In the tradition of his short films, Rohal continues to push more envelopes than the U. S. Postal Service in incorporating almost every cinematic trick imaginable to further his vision. This is risky business, indeed, but in the hands of a consummate filmmaker like Rohal the gimmicks work and the end result is more surprises than even March Madness can generate. Whatever you do, do not blink or you will surely miss something. HANDSHAKE requires Visine viewing -- one screening is definitely not enough to catch everything being thrown you way. Even the closing credits are fun: "When in Pennsylvania, please take the time to visit Three Mile Island." You gotta love the sentiment.

The production design by Jim McNamee and Sage Rockermann is noteworthy for not only the overall cheery look of the film, but for the many fun little extras they have meticulously embedded in scene after scene. Cinematographer Richie Sherman crisply lenses the whole thing. In fact, all facets of this production deserve kudos given the extremely low budget. Producers Marissa Ronca, Jason Orfanon and Nicholas Panagopulos have clearly put every penny on the screen.

As you must surely have gathered by now, THE GUATEMALAN HANDSHAKE is a must-see for anyone who enjoys cinematic creativity and sagacious story telling. If you are tired of the boring, banal "blockbuster" fare fostered on the local Bijou, do yourself a favor and seek out this little gem. Compared to GUAT, the studios don't know squat...

Robert A. Nowotny needtovent.com

Watching this movie was so tedious and laborious that I think I would have enjoyed a punch in the stomach far more. Now this is an indie movie that you've probably never heard of, and for good reason too, but pray that you stay lucky and never accidentally see it. Who knows, someone may break into your home, tie you and your family up, and force you to sit through it. Once is torture, more could be lethal.

This is like an un-funny version of Napoleon Dynamite... Except Napoleon Dynamite wasn't funny.

Do yourself a favor and avoid this movie. You'll thank me. And yourself. And which ever God you believe in.

Underneath the initial exterior---humor and absurdity that is, The Guatemalan Handshake is a true movie with such depth in themes, characters, and perspectives that it will make you laugh and scathe you at the same time.

Throughout T.G.H, the narrative scenes are presented to us objectively, and while there's great humor, the kind where we as an audience choose to laugh because of our own judgment, that same stylistic approach that's present throughout the whole movie progressively has an entirely different effect where we see for the first time, not through our own eyes, but through Ronald's. The ending at the same time resolves nothing, and everything, or to be more accurate, shows us that there was never anything to be resolved in the first place.

This movie is one of my favorite movies released this year, and a movie for its genre, one that's unmatched in complexity, dialogue, and in character development. There is so much in this movie that's revealed to the audience on several different levels that while very entertaining, requires the viewer's patience as we are there only to watch, and only until the attend do we really understand and in turn think back in nostalgia.

This movie, is a must see.

You found the IMDb page because some piece of media out there made you more curious about this film. What everyone has told you is correct. This film is an absurdist masterpiece. Rather than referencing pop culture, Mr. Rohal and his creative compadres have created pop culture. It's so interesting and bizarre the film seriously could have been 6 hours long, and I would have been just as involved. Many films of this sort are lulled by either gaps in narrative or clever winks. There's none of that in this film. It's a vision so complete and detailed and so funny and truthful. Everything about this film is far better than it should be; whether it's the gorgeous cinematography, the beautiful music, the spot on performances. Even if the scene just follows a little girl wandering in her neighborhood-- it evokes that sense of an adolescent leisurely rural summer. Even though you can tell they didn't have a huge budget-- it was made completely without compromise. I cannot wait to see his next film. Do yourself a favor and don't rent, but BUY this DVD. You'll be lending it to all of your friends anyways.