Steel Tempest

Worst WWII movie of all time. Crappy CGI, no recoil when rifles or machine guns were firing, absolutely no markings on the tanks or half tracks. OMG, and I didn't know that the UN fought on the side of the Germans in WWII. A lot of the Germans were wearing BLUE SMURF helmets in this abomination. They must have bought them at the German army surplus store on the way to the shoot. Earlier today I watched 1939 The Battle of Westerplatte. That movie was just a C hair above this stinker. Awful, awful movie, so why am I still watching this? I'm a glutton for punishment I guess.

Most of the other reviews hit all the bad stuff so I'll just hit the two that irritated me the most. The Battle of the Bulge was fought in the coldest winter in around 100 years so where is all the snow and ice? The helmets that did not have camo covers are of the painted the pre-war apple or pea green, are poor replicas and most of all the party shield (the one that is red with Swastika) decals were ordered removed in 1940, so they would have long ago been painted over or scratch off. The little details can make or break a mediocre movie and, in this movie, they miss a lot of the little details.

In a film that boasts its realism, almost everything looks unauthentic. Literally the cover of the VCD copy of this film has a quote: "The most realistic war movie ever made". My question is... in what aspect?

Is it in the weapons, vehicles, uniforms and equipment that although legit doesn't suit the time period of the film? Is it in the effects: badly-made explosions, unrealistic smoke and amateurish CGI. Or is it in the mid acting that looks like the cast comes from your local drama club?

Is the realism coming from the mechanism of the rifles that did not recoil in every shot? Or is it from the editing team that abusively overlays a bunch of soldiers to make a crowd?

The only thing that looks real to me is the film's atmosphere, specifically its music. The actual film's music breathes despair which encapsulates the grim fate of the German soldiers. It is further juxtaposed by the jolly music during the black-and-white news reports that desperately clings to propaganda in order to boost the morale of the populace. Well, that is the only realism that the film imbued, at least in my opinion.

So all in all, I still wonder why Steel Tempest shouts "realism" in its front cover. It just sets them up for failure when the audience finally realized that this film is less than authentic compared to majority of low-budget war films out there.

Well, I've never laughed so much for a long time. This side splitting romp had me laughing fit to burst! What? It's not supposed to be a comedy? Bad computer generated explosions, dodgy approximated rank insignia and a Knight's Cross that's awarded to our hero complete with Velcro backing (yes, just watch when Braun's CO 'sticks' it to his neck) make for a sub standard effort, even by amateur standards. The extras are obviously just jerking their MP40's and Sturmgewehr 44's when they 'fire' and the whole story takes part on an M.O.D. training site in Hampshire and at Neidpath Castle near Peebles in Scotland, which is supposed to be a Belgian château but betrays it's unmistakable 'Reiver' architecture.

Despite all the faults this film is remarkably entertaining. One can't wait for the next gaffe, the next instance of bad acting. I like it, but not because it's a good film. It's a bad film only surpassed by Cromwell Films 'The Bruce', a failure on a greater scale with a bigger budget.

I hope Braun reached the toilet in time before he received his Knight's Cross. Just watch the minute or so before that scene!

I could write pages how bad this is, I love any war film but this is just dire. No story, awful camera work (good old clips though), dubbing awful, incorrect markings, and uniform save you time watch anything but this.