Swarmed

Did you know that you can kill a deadly mutated yellow jacket wasp with a shotgun? You'll find out if you watch this SciFi channel flick. The script is intentionally campy and funny with lines such as, "Why don't you go out and play with the cows or something?" The acting runs the gamut from Joe Namath level to a screamingly funny performance by the awesome bug buster Richard Chevolleau with a trusty Robin-like assistant he is sort of keeping out of trouble. Tasty Sauce King Phineas Washburn (Tim Thomerson) is almost as hilarious. Don't miss Miss Washburn Tasty Sauce 2005.

Don't expect anything on the level of "Them" or "Arachnophobia" and you won't be disappointed. The special effects are really cheesy and the ending is as predictable as the sun going over the mountain. Otherwise, it's fun all the way right down to the comical stereotyping of the rather stout, donut-loving police chief everybody calls Tiny. And, oh, yes, the satirical commercials within the film are better than the real-life commercials that appeared during the showing. Actually many of them are much better.

Another day, another Sci Fi Channel TV movie, this time from Canada. SWARMED is, unsurprisingly enough, a film about killer wasps, although it's not enough for them to be mere killer wasps. They're genetically engineered killer wasps, don't you know, ones which escape from the lab and go on a low budget rampage for the film's duration.

You get exactly what you expect in a film like this and nobody disappoints you. Director Paul Ziller has made a string of cheap and cheesy movies with titles like ICE QUAKE, STONEHENGE APOCALYPSE, and SEEDS OF DESTRUCTION, and SWARMED fits into his resume quite neatly. It's certainly not one of his better films as this isn't even so-bad-it's-good kind of viewable for half the time as there are long boring stretches where nothing much happens.

The usual B-movie flaws of bad special effects are present here (the appalling CGI is something to behold), along with wooden acting from the lead star Michael Shanks. The old-timer part is played by Tim Thomerson with less screen time than they usually give to these familiar faces. The film follows the age-old storyline that originated in the likes of JAWS and PIRANHA and never for a moment does it offer anything out of the ordinary.

If you enjoy your typical genetically altered insect turned into environmental catastrophe movie, then you will like Swarmed. Begins with run of the mill experimentations that are inadvertently foiled by the ever clumsy custodial engineer. For his part, the janitor pays dearly and hence begins the death toll for an innocent unsuspecting town. The absurdity of the story multiplies as quickly as the town folks death count yet somehow only serves to further augment the entertainment value.

The movie's story revolves around an impending barbecued hamburger contest which co-incidentally and conveniently is exactly what the wasps are attracted to....yum....love that sauce!! This meat fest occurs in a tasty slice of small town America wrought with corruption, stupidity, and greed - bad combination for city and event planning, great combination for carnage. No worries for the citizens though, the local professor of entomology (doesn't every small town have one?), that also happens to be thank goodness a hotty, will piece it all together with help from the lab scientist that engineered the original overly aggressive easily antagonized wasps.

This is a definite must see if you ever wanted to see an administrative assistant hunt city hall for a wasp with a double barreled shotgun. Quite impressive!! Equally impressive was the actual cook off where pandemonium strikes as the meat hungry wasps arrive. Kudos to Tim Matherson for masterful cameo - good to see he hasn't totally lost his B stature which he strongly enforces in the scene where he knocks over the mother and her baby stroller while trying to escape - well done Tim.

Overall, it is much better than you might expect.

Swarmed is a long way from the worst movie I've ever seen, but it was to me still rather lame. The photography and scenery are quite good though, as is the decently spooky music and the acting, Richard Chevolleau especially is a lot of fun. While the characters are very clichéd with not much development to them, they thankfully didn't annoy me as much as I feared they would. Apart from it, Swarmed just doesn't cut it. The special effects are very cheesy and cheap, while the wasps are nowhere near menacing enough for my tastes. The dialogue is constantly awkward and the comical moments(mainly at the banter and the stereotyping of Tiny) feel forced and annoying. On top of that, complete with a predictable ending and a lack of suspenseful atmosphere or a sense of genuine horror the story plods like mad, it does take ages to get going and when it does it's too late and I didn't care anymore. All in all, not terrible but just didn't buzz for me. 4/10 Bethany Cox

On the surface, this movie is about mutated wasps that make a huge swarm to kill people.

In effect,it is light comedy, and obviously done on purpose. This is one of those movies that has a lot of little things, and probably a lot in the background that I didn't bother noticing, but that the geeks surely will.

The formula story of the officials who refuse to believe in an emergency situation, straight from "Jaws", the ambitious reporter, the camera man who will do anything to get a camera shot, the few people who know what is going on that no one will listen to (which is actually true to life, which is what makes these movies work.) All of these are in this movie.

There are then the light hearted comic bits. The head honcho macho guy who has a spotter for his 65 pound bench press will crack up any gym goer. The attacks as seen from the bug's point of view is purposely comical. The girl using a rifle to shoot at a wasp. These and other little things make this formula movie almost bearable. It is possibly made for those who will try to spot little things. A great movie for the dorks, but with enough obvious comedy to appease the masses somewhat. Not a great flick, but not a bad one.