Seth Green credited as playing...
Chris Griffin • Greg Brady
- Jan Brady: Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg's jacket.
- Mike Brady: Greg were you smoking cigarettes?
- Greg Brady: No dad.
- Mike Brady: Well he's lying. There's no doubt about that. Greg I'm afraid your punishment will be 4 hours in the snake pit. Maybe that will give you some time to think about what you have done.
- Jan Brady: That will teach him.
- Mike Brady: And Jan I'm afraid you have earned a day in the chamber of fire for tattling on your brother.
- Lois Griffin: Uch, smoking! How does a boy like that turn out so wrong.
- Peter Griffin: Well, they live in a crummy neighborhood.
- Brian Griffin: The Bradys?
- Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah, they got robbers, thugs, drug dealers, aw, you name it.
- Black Woman: [appearing at the window with a plate full of pancakes] You folks want some pancakes?
- Peter Griffin: No, thank you.
- [to his family]
- Peter Griffin: See, that's the worst we got is Jemima's Witnesses.
- Judge: Mr. Griffin, your words touch us. I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
- Lois Griffin: Oh no!
- Brian Griffin: Oh no!
- Meg Griffin: Oh no!
- Chris Griffin: Oh no!
- Kool-Aid Guy: Oh Yeah!
- Chris Griffin: All right, Dad! Way to fight the machine!
- Stewie Griffin: How do YOU know about the machine?
- Meg Griffin: Oh... My collagen is wearing thin.
- Lois Griffin: Well, Meg, sagging lips are simply nature's way of saying you shouldn't have covered for your father's lie.
- Chris Griffin: What does it mean when your armpits cry stinky tears?
- Lois Griffin: Oh, it means you're becoming a man. But hopefully, not the kind of man who stays out all night and doesn't call. Like your father, who shall remain nameless.
- Lois Griffin: Collagen is one thing, but did you really need to get breast implants for Chris?
- Peter Griffin: Ah, they make him happy.
- Chris Griffin: [squishing a pair of silicone breasts in his hands] Hey, these are cool!