Gilligan, the Goddess

Everything ends we are told and that turns out to be true. But Gilligan's Island never should have ended this soon. This show was classic comedy just as good as Harold Lloyd, Laurel and Hardy, Buster Keaton, Jackie Gleason, and anybody you can think of. Not appreciated in its time it has outlived every TV critic that ravaged it. And rightly so. It will live as long as people like to watch comedy.

I wouldn't count this as one of my favorite episodes, but there are plenty of funny moments. I won't recount all the gags, but there are enough to keep the episode moving. There is quite a bit of "drag" humor and that's not really my cup of tea, but it didn't ruin the episode. As a kid I probably enjoyed that part more than I do now as an adult.

One of my favorite moments is when Ginger and Mary Ann decide to put on the USO outfits that Ginger just happened to have with her. Of course! Everybody takes their USO outfits with them wherever they go! That was wonderful.

Sad that this TV series had to end. Sad that stupid people make stupid decisions that deprive millions of people from watching a show that they love. But that's the world we live in. Maybe that's why we all long to live on a place like Gilligan's Island.

Gilligan's Island sadly comes to a premature end with this entry. Unfortunately, this isn't a tidy wrap up to the series where the castaways are mercifully rescued, reach civilization, and bid each other tearful goodbyes. That's because CBS had renewed the show for a fourth season, then reversed itself after production on the third year had wrapped.

So instead, we get this strange, low-key, uneven episode in which most of the laughs come from the guest cast. The plot is nothing special and has a tendency to sputter, especially in the forgettable second half, and the castaways are largely sidelined. It's no grand finale.

Gilligan has fashioned an SOS sign out of a sail in the opening tag. The girls are chased through it by three natives. (The landing scene is once again skipped to save time, presumably). This trio may come in the usual assortment, but, unlike the other savages, they are civilized, and speak just enough English to advance the plot. Their leader, King Killiwani, is there to find a white goddess to marry, and he offers to take the castaways along to the wedding if a goddess comes forward.

All three of the ladies vie to be the goddess. In a faint echo of Beauty Is As Beauty Does, we get a short contest where they model identical white outfits for the king. Mrs. Howell is close enough to royalty to be Killiwani's choice. But there is a catch: she will be sacrificed to a volcano for their god.

Naturally, the castaways reject this proposal and Mrs. Howell gracefully bows out. The king won't take no for an answer and threatens the group with poison darts.

It's here that the men come up with one of their screwiest ideas: one of them will dress up as the goddess, go along with the king, and get rescued by the others. The plan is just another excuse for Gilligan to cross-dress, and it isn't any funnier here than the last time he was in drag.

King Killiwani takes an instant shine to 'Gilliana,' decides to betray the gods, and keep him for himself. It's a lame version of Some Like It Hot with Gilligan in the Jack Lemmon role and the king as Joe E. Brown. To keep their relationship from getting too interesting (and to give the others something to do), the castaways barge into the guest hut to disrupt their privacy. The girls put on a short, lively rendition of Bill Bailey and Mr. Howell performs alleged magic tricks using stale puns.

After the king puts an end to their unpleasant diversion, we have more Some Like it Not shenanigans. Gilligan gets as tired of the charade as the audience does and tricks the king in the laziest, lamest, and most annoying gag in the series. He walks out on the natives and skirts another rescue.

End scene, and end series.

But don't worry. Only another eleven years to wait for rescue.

COCONOTES:

Veteran character actor Stanley Adams, who later played Cyrano Jones on Star Trek: TOS, provides most of the laughs in this swan song. He does an excellent job as the chubby, amorous king, basically a poor man's Jackie Gleason. His two guards, played by Mickey Morton and Robert Swimmer, also get their fair share of laughs.

Incidentally, Adams also guested in the first episode of The Adventures of Dobie Gillis, the other Bob Denver series.

"I hate to judge this beauty contest because nobody would win."

Mr. Howell thinks Gilliana looks ravishing. Should Mrs. Howell be jealous?

Okay, maybe, just maybe, Ginger brought along her USO outfit. But why does she also have one that fits Mary Ann?

"Gilligan, the Goddess" was never intended to be the final episode, the series having been renewed for a fourth season, but the apparent demise of the long running GUNSMOKE was too much for CBS to contemplate, so its return to the fall schedule meant the loss of a show they never really appreciated. Judging by the finale there's no reason to believe that another season wouldn't have been just fine, the third year actually improving on the second. In this one, Stanley Adams guest stars as King Kaliwani, civilized native chief in search of a white goddess to come to his island for a wedding ceremony. All three women are ready to play the part, until they learn that the groom is a volcano, into which the goddess will be thrown! All four men decide to dress up and play goddess in order to spare the ladies, but only Gilligan looks 'positively ravishing,' according to Mr. Howell! Unfortunately, it isn't long before the amorous king laments having 33 wives who don't understand him, making the moves on a perplexed Gilligan. Perhaps best remembered for his turn on STAR TREK's "The Trouble with Tribbles," Stanley Adams manages to broker a full complement of laughs with various asides with his two guards (Mickey Morton and Robert Swimmer), his introduction a classic - Emperor of eternal night, Night of eternal day, Seeker of eternal truth, Lord of eternal eternities, Keeper of eternal flame. The Professor finds his 'eternal flame,' actually a cigarette lighter, and learns that the King's island occasionally is visited by a ship: "captain give me eternal flame, plus one can eternal lighting fluid!" Everyone gets laughs for this final time, with the Professor asking Mary Ann's honest opinion of his appearance as a potential goddess: "how dark the night and how bad their eyesight!" The Skipper sadly makes a confession to Ginger in his female guise: "I'm afraid I just killed your living girdle!" Jim Backus, standing between Alan Hale and Russell Johnson while all in drag, comes out with a reference to The Andrews Sisters, sadly poignant due to the unexpected death of Laverne mere weeks after this broadcast (name dropping Maxene and Laverne). GILLIGAN'S ISLAND had much to offer viewers, virtually something for everyone, no matter what age.

All the males put on dresses and clownish exaggerated makeup: The skipper Mr Howle Professor, And Gilligan.

The humiliation ritual did them no good. The network lied to everyone that they were picked up for a fourth season.

But the network canceled them.

In fact the network resurrected the dying Gunsmoke instead of keeping their promise to the staff of Gilligan.

I wonder if all the males would have agreed to dress up in drag if the network would have been honest and told them "you're cancelled".

Cringe-worthy episode.

Everyone deserved better than this!

I'm glad they all were able to reunite for the tv movies.

The series final episode is fittingly camp entertainment, the last visitor to the island being a looney king of kings. Stanley Adams plays King Kaliwani, desperately in search of a "white goddess." At first, the offer sounds intriguing to Ginger and Maryann, toss in Mrs. Howell too, who is used to rubbing elbows with royalty...That is.... until it's learned the chosen female will be thrown into a boiling volcano!

The guys have no choice but to intercept the king's plans, take a chance and have one of them dress up as the damsel in distress. Enter Gilligan, or rather Giliana (dig the fancy threads), formally crowned queen for a day -- IF he or she survives. And surprise? The king actually likes what he sees and would rather have Giliana all for himself!

Is this how it all ends? Stay tuned.

Written by the team of Jack Paritz and Bob Rodgers who also cranked out some classic episodes for BATMAN. Yes! I agree with the last reviewer, Stanley Adams does come off as a poor man's Jackie Gleason. Adams was popular at the time in both movies and tv.

According to production notes, the series was actually renewed for a fourth season, then CBS changed its mind (mostly because the top brass wasn't too fond of the show to begin with). The ratings were low, however, the series ranking 48 in the Top 50. That said, THE MONKEES ranked 42 -- and was renewed?

Filmed partly at Alamitos Bay, a long sandy beach, adjacent to Long Beach, California, which kind of resembled Gilligan's Island

SEASON 3 EPISODE 30 remastered color CBS dvd box set. Final season classic edition for all us fans.