Robert Reed credited as playing...
Mike Brady
- Mike Brady: [Mike and Greg enter his den] Greg, I want to talk to you.
- Greg Brady: Yes, sir?
- Mike Brady: It's about Raquel.
- Greg Brady: [shocked] Raquel?
- Mike Brady: Never mind how I found out about it. The point is, she's in your room, isn't she?
- Greg Brady: [guiltily] Yes, sir.
- Mike Brady: Oh, Greg. Your mother and I never questioned your right to privacy, but, I mean, this is carrying things a little too far. Why did you do that?
- Greg Brady: I figured I could sneak Raquel in last night and get her out without anyone finding out.
- Mike Brady: [shocked] You mean she's been here all night?
- Greg Brady: Dad, I was stuck. There was no place else I could take her!
- Mike Brady: [exasperated] Oh... I am trying very hard to be understanding and I'm losing.
- Greg Brady: Okay, Dad. I should have never got mixed up with a beast like that.
- Mike Brady: Son, that is a dreadful thing to say about a girl, no matter what she looks like.
- Greg Brady: A girl? Dad, I think we may have a communication gap going here. Raquel is a goat. As in nanny.
- [Mike looks confused]
- Greg Brady: You know?
- [bleats like a goat]
- Mike Brady: A goat? You mean, a goat goat?
- Greg Brady: [laughing] Yeah. You mean, you thought I...?
- Mike Brady: [starts chuckling] Sure did, I...
- Greg Brady: [laughing] Oh, no...
- Mike Brady: [laughs] Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?
- Greg Brady: [laughing] Well, you sounded like you knew.
- Mike Brady: [turns serious] The next question is, why are you running a motel for goats?
- Greg Brady: [nervously] Well, it's a special goat. She's Coolidge High's mascot.
- Mike Brady: [shocked, but amused] You didn't... did you?
- [chuckles slightly and sits down next to Greg]
- Mike Brady: Yeah, well. Oh. Well, that wasn't the brightest move in the world, son.
- Greg Brady: You said you did the same thing in school.
- Mike Brady: But I didn't say it wasn't stupid. I also said it was wrong and if you want to know how wrong, you wait'll your mother finds out!
- Greg Brady: Does she have to know?
- Mike Brady: Greg, you have got to return Raquel, no way out.
- Greg Brady: I know, but couldn't I do it slowly, like after the game tonight?
- Mike Brady: No. Look, son...
- Greg Brady: Dad, I'm in such a bind! If the guys find out, they'll kill me! It's just for a couple hours!
- Mike Brady: [sighs wearily] Well, okay. But just until after the game tonight.
- Greg Brady: [happily] Hey, thanks, Dad. You're terrific.
- [leaves the den]
- Mike Brady: [to himself] And if your mother *does* find out, you and I and Raquel may be roommates.