Graham Chapman credited as playing...
Policeman • Solomon • Major • Overacting Specialist • Mrs. Bun
- Hungarian Immigrant: [reading from book] I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
- Tobacconist: No no no, this is a Tobacconist's.
- Hungarian Immigrant, Tobacconist: Ah!
- Hungarian Immigrant: I will not buy this Tobacconist's, it is scratched.
- Tobacconist: No no no no. Tobacco, um... cigarettes.
- [Holds up pack of cigarettes]
- Hungarian Immigrant: Ah, cig- cigarettes.
- [looks in book]
- Hungarian Immigrant: My hovercraft is full of eels.
- Tobacconist: What?
- Hungarian Immigrant: My hovercraft
- [mimes holding a cigarette]
- Hungarian Immigrant: is full of eels
- [mimes stricking a match]
- Tobacconist: Oh, matches, matches...
- Hungarian Immigrant: Yah!
- [looks in book]
- Hungarian Immigrant: Do you want... Do you want to come back to my place. Bouncy bouncy!
- Tobacconist: I don't think you're using that right.
- Hungarian Immigrant: You great poof!
- Tobacconist: Uh... That'll be six and six, please.
- Hungarian Immigrant: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I... I am no longer infected.
- Tobacconist: May I see that?
- [takes book from Hungarian, looks through it]
- Tobacconist: Yander levasa gadenui stravenka.
- [Hungarian punches him]
- Police Officer: [comes running in] What's goin' on 'ere, then?
- Hungarian Immigrant: Ah!
- [looks in book]
- Hungarian Immigrant: You have beautiful thighs.
- Police Officer: [looks at his thighs, then up again] What?
- Tobacconist: [pointing at Hungarian] He hit me!
- Hungarian Immigrant: Drop your panties, Sir William.
- [points at Tobacconist]
- Hungarian Immigrant: I cannot wait 'til lunchtime.
- Police Officer: Right!
- [arrests Hungarian]
- Hungarian Immigrant: My nipples explode with delight!