By Any Other Name

...the harder they fall. Those Kelvans were, at bottom, a bunch of greedy grabalots, and it didn't take long for Kirk and Co. to catch on. And believe me, they had lots of fun doing something about it. When they realized that Rojan and company, having taken human form, were starting to experience human reactions---human emotions---they made the most of the opportunity. I got a huge kick out of Bones pumping one of the invaders full of formic acid, which would make anyone climb the walls---Scotty drinking another one of them under the table and then passing out himself (although in a good cause)---Spock, although unsuccessful with the mind-meld, nevertheless getting a good idea of what Kelinda really looked like---and most of all, Captain Kirk's "apology" which spread like wildfire and thoroughly discombooberated the Kelvans who now realized they were stuck with their human forms and could never return to Andromeda. This was a good seriocomic story; I enjoyed it.

When Enterprise's crew goes down in unknown planet for survey, they are captured by an alien humanized form self-called Kelvans a sort of superior race who has beam paralyzing device that precludes all human efforts against them under Kirk commands, even our Vulkan wasn't match for such master race, all attempts were doomed to failure.

The small group of Kelvans under the leadership of the cold Rojan (Warren Stevens) has a gorgeous female Kalinda is an old acquaint of us the Czech Barbara Bouchet, what a woman, well upon a wise well-crafted screenplay the Earthlings seem struck a dead end, the Kelvans demands the Enterprise backing to faraway Andromeda galaxy where the early Kelvans coming in the past, then the downed Kirk offers to the Kelvans take the confederation board the issue in hope for fair agreement, promptly refused by commander Rojan, no deal at sight.

The final part what was meant to be a promising episode fell in the puerile exit to fix the hard matter of subjugation of the entire Enterprise's crew into a ludicrous turnaround over the mind supremacy of the Kelvans that drops in vexatious way, anyhow the episode was enlightened by eye-candy Bouchet!!

Thanks for reading.

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First watch: 2022 / Source: DVD / How many: 1 / Rating: 7.5.

The Enterprise responds to a distress call on an uncharted planet. A landing party beams down to an unconvincing studio set where they encounter a humanoid man named Rojan (Warren Stevens) and a very hot woman in a backless outfit named Kelinda (played by sexy giallo babe Barbara Bouchet), who demand that Kirk surrenders his ship. Naturally, the captain isn't about to do so, but when he refuses the aliens paralyse the landing party using devices worn on their belts. Rojan explains that he and Kalinda are Kelvans from the Andromeda galaxy, on a mission to find planets in the Milky Way suitable for conquest .

Held prisoners in a cave, Kirk and his crewmates attempt to escape but are quickly apprehended. As punishment, the two redshirts are transformed into large Dungeons and Dragons dice. Mr. Spock uses his telepathic powers to learn that the Kelvans have assumed human form so that they will be able to function on the Enterprise; in reality, they are large creatures with one hundred tentacles, unsuitable for life aboard the spaceship. When it becomes apparent that the Kelvans are starting to develop human reactions, Kirk uses the aliens' newfound emotions against them. Eventually, the captain convinces Rojan that, by the time the Enterprise reaches Andromeda (a journey of 300 years), the aliens' descendants will be virtually human and considered inferior by their own race. Instead of returning to Andromeda, the Kelvans decide to colonise the uncharted planet where they were found.

Given how long it has already taken the Kelvans to reach the Milky Way, it seems to me that Rojan and Kelinda are very quick to shirk their responsibilities: their ancestors dedicated their lives to travelling beyond their own galaxy, but Rojan is willing to give up all plans of conquering new worlds just because he likes how it feels to be human. It's a weak and rather unconvincing conclusion to the episode, but one that I am willing to forgive because of Barbara Bouchet as Kelinda, who has to be one of the sexiest women of Star Trek. She looks absolutely amazing throughout, so it's no wonder that Kirk finds time to add her to his long list of women that he has snogged (who cares if she's really an immense creature with numerous appendages?).

"We do not colonize. We Conquer! We Rule!" Guess we know where these Kelvans stand, don't we? Or, perhaps not. For, they have taken human form. Actual Kelvans are 'immense beings' with a hundred tentacles. Such beings would have problems with a turbolift (and sixties FX would have problems depicting them). So, hearkening back to the aliens of "Catspaw" and "Return to Tomorrow," these Kelvans have set themselves up for major seduction trouble by assuming our treacherous human form. And, strictly speaking, they're not invaders, merely an expedition force on its way back to the Andromeda Galaxy, where radiation levels will make life impossible there in about 10,000 years. Once back home, they'll tell the rest of the Kelvans to go ahead and proceed to our Milky Way galaxy and then conquer the hell out of it. But, the Federation would have no immediate worries; the invasion force probably won't arrive for at least 600 years (the round trip). If they ever create a Trek show set in the 29th century (or even the 26th), there's at least one story arc ready to be used.

So, I'm not sure why Kirk and his officers were so worked up. Of course, their personal situation was a bit grim: the prospect of being stuck on the Enterprise for the rest of their lives as it hurtles towards Andromeda is kind of a downer. Though there are only half-a-dozen of these Kelvans, they easily take over the ship with their paralysis field weapons. They also modify the ship's engines. We're back at the galactic barrier first seen in the 2nd pilot episode, "Where No Man Has Gone Before" - and through it. Then most the crew are turned into small weightless tetrahedron-like blocks. When I first saw this as a kid, a genuine chill ran thru me when one these blocks was crushed to dust, thereby killing a crew member in a rather horrifying manner. This was super-science employed as a war tactic, as an instrument of terror. This was alien invasion thrills and chills, no doubt, and these Kelvans seemed a step up from the usual baddies encountered on the original show (Klingons, Romulans, etc).

But then, as was customary with many episodes after the first season, a grim tone changes to a playful one in the 2nd half of the episode. Then we get games of seduction and inebriation, of Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Scotty using their wits rather than their brawn, though in a manner befitting a Marx Brothers comedy instead of a sf adventure. It's still entertaining, sure, but I would have preferred some payback for that first half of terror, and the episode is rather uneven as a result of the precious ploys. The sugary ending is so cloying, so convenient, I usually need a shot of Scotch to get rid of the taste. On the plus side, Kelinda (Bouchet) is probably the sexiest alien we see on the original show and Kirk's super-stud status was assured with this episode. Scotty has the best scenes - it's green, indeed - and rumors of his alcoholism might have started here. And those images of the Enterprise zooming towards another galaxy stay in the mind for awhile. This imagery was repeated in the 3rd season's "Day of the Dove."

A small group of superior alien beings take the form of humans in order for them to hijack the Enterprise. They need the ship so they can return to their old world that is beyond the Great Barrier. They turn almost the whole crew into these clay balls, except for Kirk, Spock, Scotty, and Bones, whom they need to help them run the ship. The only weakness the hijackers seem to have is that since they're in human form for the time being, they're vulnerable to human emotions. The episode starts out very serious and dreary, but ends up to the amusing as the crew exploits the human emotions of these so called, "superior beings". The best one is Kirk and Spock driving their leader insane with jealously over a woman. Excellent episode.