The Love Guru

It was heavy-handed, painful and endless. The opposite of funny. An excruciating bunch of penis jokes strung together with some gross-out scenes. Wow! Penises can be short! Penises can be long! Oh, hahaha! Oh, and who can forget the musical numbers. Did I mention that they were choreographed? Mike Myers has lost the charm he exhibited in the Austin Powers franchise. And it's clear that he picked an inexperienced director for this so he could control the shoot. And why does Jessica Alba keep doing crappy movies like this and "Good Luck, Chuck"? Did someone tell her she was a comedienne? And Justin Timberlake -- well, no wonder he wears a wig and moustache throughout. Ironically, though the material is definitely for teen-aged boys, they probably won't go to see it because of the title. It'll maybe have one weekend, then go flaccid. Incidentally, the only truly memorable line in the entire mess is from Verne Troyer in an outtake run with the credits. But it's not worth watching the entire mess to hear it.

Mike Myers is a talented guy, but this vehicle is an embarrassment. The funniest parts are gleefully juvenile, but they are, unfortunately, outnumbered by gags that are simply juvenile or, worse yet, juvenile and mean-spirited. For example, some of the jokes directed at Verne Troyer's character sound like they were uttered by a 15-year-old classroom bully, not written by an intelligent man in his forties. I'm all in favor of offending PC sensibilities whenever possible, but do it right: cracks about Keebler elves show are just stupid and artistically lazy.

More scenes of young Pitka might have explained better how he grew into the adult he became, and Rajneesh could have been fleshed out a bit. I suspect that a lot of character development and back story were left on the cutting room floor. What should have been cut were the cameos that were either pointless or self-referential without being truly funny.

The plot wasn't exactly Citizen Kane quality, but it could have worked with better writing. After all, if anything cries out for satiric treatment, it's the self-help and New Age movements. With such target-rich subject matter, how did Myers manage to make such a dud? I think that it's a case of plain self-indulgence. Jim Carrey and Robin Williams are two other talented, over-the-top funny men who do some of their best work when they show restraint and don't play themselves. Someone should have reined in Myers on this one.

For his penance, I suggest that he lay off comedy for a while and do a few dramatic roles - including supporting ones - as he did (quite well) in "54." Williams and Carrey have shown other dimensions of themselves in dramatic roles, and I'm sure Myers can, too.

I have now seen all of Mike Myers' films in which he plays a starring role, and this is definitely the worst. He has proved that he is a very funny man with the likes of Austin Powers and Wayne's World but he seemed to have forgotten all what made those movies funny with The Love Guru. It's pretty bad, though slightly better than its reputation. Though not much.

There are hardly any jokes that are funny, and 95% are toilet humour or sex jokes. And not funny ones. I laughed maybe 3 times throughout, one of which in the credits with Verne Troyer. It's not helped by the fact that the Guru Pitka is an unlikeable character. For some reason Myers laughs at his own bad jokes often in this film, possibly in the hope you'll join in. Maybe you will out of sympathy.

When a decent joke pops up Myers usually ruins it by explaining the joke, like with the crocodile soup one. You don't need to explain a joke Mike! You usually didn't do that in your previous films, so why do it here? Myers comic timing here is hit and miss, sometimes it's decent enough such as when he stares at the camera for a split second after Bohemian Rhapsody starts playing in a car (Wayne's world reference) but sometimes he just never demonstrates this quality at all. Comedy is all about timing, Mike Myers nailed it perfectly in the first Austin Powers, so he clearly has (or did have) the ability.

It's hard to believe this had such a high budget as it looks appears cheap in terms of its effects and obviously it's content. The acting is not great from Jessica Alba, Sir Ben Kingsley makes an appearance and I suppose does the best he could have done with the material. Mike Myers is a funny guy, I am surprised that such a capable comedian could come up with such a poor film.

The story could have been interesting but it wasn't. Needed far better writing. Myers was given too much control and needed someone to say no, these ideas are no good. It's a shame to see it as he was once so funny. I did enjoy the rendition of Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 at the start, Myers is a surprisingly good singer. I also appreciated the unpretentiousness of the film, it's aware that it's not that good and it never strives to be anything else than a lowbrow comedy.

Overall though this is a film that is not worth seeing and I would rate it 4/10.

I read self-help books, I study religions and spirituality, and I thought this was a funny movie. Movies such as these teach us to not take life so seriously. It would seem that anyone who claims to have any sense of spirituality or enlightenment, and was offended by this movie, doesn't really understand Truth. To be pro the movie, or neutral to the movie is one thing, but to attack the movie, to be against the movie, would seem to be self-defeating. Attacking the movie gives energy (and publicity) to it, for which, I'm sure the makers are very grateful. I thought the headlines of certain people being 'outraged' by the movie were as humorous as the movie. Deepak knows...he took it in good fun.

I have seen some awful movies. Movies that just aren't that great, aren't interesting, lack that certain spark that a Great Movie always has. I knew, walking in to screen this movie this morning, that this would lack that certain spark. I knew this would not be a Great Movie, but I expected it to be at least somewhat funny -- it is, after all, a comedy. And as for expecting the rest of it to be stupid, well, it went above and beyond: it was absolutely ridiculous.

Generally, I'm indifferent to Mike Myers' stupid (for lack of a better word) humor. There have been some genuinely funny moments in past movies, but you won't find more than two or maybe even three in this one. The entire movie was basically sexual innuendo after innuendo after innuendo after humping elephants.

At one point, I wanted to bash my head against a wall. This supposed "comedy" was absolute torture to sit through.

But Stephen Colbert is interesting -- has a few funny lines -- and Jessica Alba was very pretty. Also, Verne Troyer has quite the clever line -- in the credits, that is.

I suppose one thing to say about this movie is, while not exactly in a positive light, it will likely always be in your memory, never forgotten. Although, keep in mind: seeing a movie should never hurt this much.