Donkey Punch

I can't remember the last time that a movie squandered as much goodwill in such a short space of time as this one does. The first half is genuinely terrific, as six lairy, sexed-up twenty-somethings flirt, take drugs and confabulate on a yacht anchored off the coast of an unnamed Spanish island. Its like Hollyoaks as directed by Larry Clark, and it is totally gripping.

But as soon as the titular incident occurs (and the titular incident really does occur; just in case anyone else suspected that the title was merely a jocular come-on) the plot suddenly helter skelters straight into a brick wall; turning into the kind of dated, tiresome trash that isn't only shockingly predictable, but also entirely unaware of its own predictability. The film's twists are broadly apparent a full ten minutes before they occur on screen, which makes for an experience that isn't only boring, but also deeply and repeatedly annoying.

This is one of those thrillers in which every cast member gets a turn playing the volatile psychopath, purely because the script can't get around the fact that the previous character to go loopy has just been safely locked in a cupboard.

It never once stops being faultlessly directed - debutant Oliver Blackburn coaxes some really outstanding performances from his young cast, and there are a couple of devilish moments of genuine suspense and black comedy - but these jiffys are like a tiny number of slowly deflating rubber dinghies sinking into a gigantic ocean of generic pish.

People merely looking for explicit sex will be very well served, but the violence and gore is surprisingly tame for something that's being marketed as a plasma-stained killfest.

A very brief, but nevertheless apt and effective homage to Phillip Noyce's Dead Calm aside (a film so infinitely superior that I feel guilty for even having mentioned it here) this is just a shoddy, witless bore of a film.

And it all started so well.

This film has gotten some pretty low scores here on IMDB, and to be frank, I can definitely understand why this is the case. That said, I didn't think it was so bad and it passed the time well enough. It's just fairly shallow and stupid.

Truth is though that I can't totally resist a story about a party going terribly wrong, and I guess this is basically what we have here. It's pretty much an exploitation homage, and after the eponymous "donkey punch" episode, it goes exactly as you think it will. The characters, even the girls, are pretty thinly sketched and it's hard to imagine them doing anything outside of the story they are in, but nevertheless, the acting seems solid all across the board and everyone in the production did a commendable job. Still, the film doesn't exactly have any dialogue triumphs, and its climax (ha hah) is in fact the wild intercutting of the sex that rises to a fever pitch and then goes horribly awry. It was pretty hot stuff, and then turned to a genuine "oh crap!" moment, and I appreciated that.

Unfortunately what followed didn't give me anything that I didn't learn from 1970s exploitation movies, and those are a hard act to follow. I understand Dead Calm was an inspiration or at least an influence, but i still haven't seen that one. it's probably better than this was. The film didn't piss me off exactly but it didn't leave me with much feeling of any kind, either, and that's bad. The second half is supposed to be tense and psychologically frought, but it's oddly lifeless. It's all a bit vapid and everyone is pretty and stupid. There's a death that reminded me a little of I Spit on Your Grave. Some of the music was fun. Where'd those young boys get that yacht anyway? if they ever said, I missed it; this is not the sort of movie you'll remember a word from, either.

The girlfriends Lisa (Sian Breckin), Kim (Jaime Winstone) and Tammi (Nichola Burley) travel from Leeds to Mallorca, Spain, to spend a couple of days together having good-time on the beach. They meet Marcus (Jay Taylor), Bluey (Tom Burke) and Josh (Julian Morris) in a bar where they steal a bottle of champagne for fun. The young men tell that they are the crew of a motor pleasure yacht and they invite the girls to visit the vessel, where they introduce the chief-engineer Sean (Robert Boulter). The seven youngsters use ecstasy and smoke the powerful Russian Ice; Bluey talks about kinky sex including Donkey Punch and Dirty Sanchez; and they decide to navigate to the Mediterranean deep sea to see the sunset. The easy Lisa has sex with Bluey first and then anal sex with Josh; Vic has sex with Marcus and Tammi stays on the main deck talking to Sean. When Josh decides to practice Donkey Punch on Lisa, he accidentally kills the girl, in the beginning of a nightmarish gore night.

"Donkey Punch" begins erotic, with three sexy actresses very exposed, and ends gore after a weird accident. The title refers to a fictitious and mortal practice of anal sex, when the penetrated partner is punched on the head or neck to tight the anal passage and increase the orgasm of the partner. The greatest surprise in the story is that none of the partners use condom, i.e., all of them has unprotected sex. "Donkey Punch" will never be nominated to any Award, but it is entertaining and I liked it. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Prazeres Mortais" ("Deadly Pleasures")

I was pleasantly surprised by this film. The Leeds lasses on a jolly girls excursion made it seem quite parochial, to the extent that the Yanks will probably need subtitles, and there is a central moral vacuousness (in the deeds) which is nonetheless appropriately dealt with in terms of who gets what and how. Very often this kind of film leaves you frustrated in terms of dénouement, but I thought that comeuppance was most appropriately dealt out and the ending doesn't let you down, inasmuch as you can figure on how things might develop post-movie (imagine this going to court!). I thought the acting was really good, there was a good dose of (black) humour and the film could be read on many levels (as much as a class conflict as anything else). Great little film, hard to spot the low budget.

Olly Blackburn's classy but nasty thriller 'Donkey Punch' takes a number of standard tricks of the genre: the isolated location, the failing communications equipment, a steadily rising body count; and adds one of its own, namely the lethal fall out from the use of the obscure sexual technique of its title. The opening portions are almost unwatchable, as one waits to see who is going to fall victim to this manoeuvre, against a discomforting backdrop of youthful hedonism. Yet the movie only strengthens as it goes on, the director underlays the mounting gore, uses music impeccably, and there are honest, gutsy performances from the cast. Fundamentally, this becomes a movie about what ordinary people will do to survive in extreme conditions; not pretty, but I found the basic psychology believable. Overall, much better than expected.