My Big Break

10 years ago I googled Wes Bentley, the character with the camera in American Beauty, and came across a website for a film called Carving Out Our Name, a documentary about four actors and an aspiring director living in a house they called "Masselin". In the late 90's, Tony Zierra decided to start filming his four roommates as they tried to make it in Hollywood. You can call it luck, you can call it foresight, whatever the case, three out of four of the guys living in the Masselin house eventually got their big breaks, and Tony was there to capture it all.

Carving Out Our Name, starring Chad Lindberg, Brad Rowe, Greg Fawcett and Wes Bentley, got it's big break when it screened at the Toronto International Film Festival on September 10, 2001, but the tragedy that took place the morning after changed everything, and Carving Out Our Name went into hiding for good. I always hoped the film would see the light of day and this year it has. My Big Break is Carving Out our Name's Father. It's older and wiser but mostly it is fearless.

It's surprisingly easy to relate to these guys as they struggle with success and fame and all that comes with it. It's even easier to relate to the one guy in the house who has to sit back and watch with envy as his three roommates make a name for themselves in Hollywood. At one point the director asks him to do something, anything, and what follows is at once equally hilarious and utterly heartbreaking. Tony Zierra's directorial debut is thoughtful, provoking and painfully real. It's non-fiction at it's best.

What I loved most about this film is the fact that the person telling the story is as much a part of it as the rest. The character with the camera in American Beauty come to life.

Now I get why the slogan for this documentary is "Are You Ready?". I can tell you that I wasn't. I assumed that it would be a fun maybe juicy trip through what it's like to get exactly what so many of us would like to have: fame and fortune. think about how many people, myself included, have wished we could trade our ordinary "normal" lives for the glamour of Hollywood. Not that I ever thought I would really go for it but we can dream, can't we? This documentary was a real wake-up call for me. Funny but watching it made my holiday better because it made me appreciate my life and my family more than I usually do. I felt like this hype about how great celebrities lives are is just that...hype. There's nothing real about it. Obviously getting famous messes with people big time. I was always confused about that. For instance, why do so many big stars from Marilyn Monroe to Owen Wilson seem so self- destructive when they have everything? This documentary helped answer that question for me. Honestly though, it also made me feel guilty for pushing my daughter, who is 19 toward being an actress. She's really talented and I guess I felt a little bit like she might have a chance to live out the dream I always had but didn't go after. We watched this movie together and afterwards she told me that she'd rather go into nursing and I'm glad. On a kind of funny note: the guys in the movie are all really good looking in different ways so there's that to add to your viewing pleasure.

Now I get why the slogan for this documentary is "Are You Ready?". I can tell you that I wasn't. I assumed that it would be a fun maybe juicy trip through what it's like to get exactly what so many of us would like to have: fame and fortune. think about how many people, myself included, have wished we could trade our ordinary "normal" lives for the glamour of Hollywood. Not that I ever thought I would really go for it but we can dream, can't we? This documentary was a real wake-up call for me. Funny but watching it made my holiday better because it made me appreciate my life and my family more than I usually do. I felt like this hype about how great celebrities lives are is just that...hype. There's nothing real about it. Obviously getting famous messes with people big time. I was always confused about that. For instance, why do so many big stars from Marilyn Monroe to Owen Wilson seem so self- destructive when they have everything? This documentary helped answer that question for me. Honestly though, it also made me feel guilty for pushing my daughter, who is 19 toward being an actress. She's really talented and I guess I felt a little bit like she might have a chance to live out the dream I always had but didn't go after. We watched this movie together and afterwards she told me that she'd rather go into nursing and I'm glad. On a kind of funny note: the guys in the movie are all really good looking in different ways so there's that to add to your viewing pleasure.

A documentary about 4 people wanting to make it in Hollywood. This is a goal for a lot of people, and not everyone can make it happen. These 4 in an apartment end up with more success then what anyone would expect, but Hollywood can chew people up and spit them out.

Along with success comes not having more success to follow it, as well as other dilemmas. People assume a big break would be so amazing but when success hits too hard to fast it can be overwhelming. Lives can change too drastically and not always for the better.

A very well done documentary with such candid interviews told so well. Wes is by far my favorite but there was a lot of insight all around. I would recommend to anyone but particularly those interested in acting or interested in the psychology behind it, and rising to fame.

As I write this it seems the only way to watch is buying on their website in a digital download format.

http://www.mybigbreakmovie.com

My Big Break is a documentary that unfolds like a punch to the gut. It took years for Tony Zierra to put it together, and like a fine wine it's now ready to be savored.

When I first saw it, I really wasn't that invested in being there at the start, but as the movie unfolded I was hooked. I couldn't look away.

Anyone who wants to get into movies should see this film as a warning about what to expect. The rest of us should see it because it's at once entertaining, engaging, funny, and tragic, and it features real people.

Hollywood doesn't want you to see this film, and that's a shame. In today's world of informed people, documentaries like those by Michael Moore, Al Gore and Morgan Spurlock are appreciated and enjoyed. Tony Zierra's film ranks with the best of them, and I hope that the fact Hollywood doesn't want it to be seen by the general public won't actually hinder its ability to find an audience.

Go see it; you'll be glad you did.