User reviews

Sucky film. They should be ashamed for green lighting this mess.

Bleh! I am so over the weird and quirky Tim Burton stuff. How about a different approach... make an interesting, smart, and compelling movie. As a fan of the original Dark Shadows TV show, this was a huge disappointment. What a missed opportunity to provide the massive baby-boomer audience with something they could really sink their teeth into. I am a fan of Johnny Depp. But my two favorite movies of his were Chocolat and Donnie Brasco. Both of these movies had absolutely nothing to do with Tim Burton. He is a very capable actor with the ability to play many genres. But I don't think he has explored his potential enough. This will never happen as long as his movies involve the 'creative team' of Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton. Bored to tears, I had a hard time staying awake while trying to watch this movie.

Why bother taking the premise when you plan to make something with so little in common with it? This movie by any other name might be just mediocre instead of mediocre and insulting. The original series was before my time but it took itself more seriously and the humor at times was unintentional but when it was intentional it was clever and dark. This movie is dumb. The humor is dumb, it assumes the audience is dumb. There is nothing of note in it. It has a big budget and superstar cast but it would have been 1000 times better with 1/10th the budget, less spent on trying to make a shiny toilet bowl of an extravaganza. It might have worked if it was more along the line of that weird Jack Nicholson werewolf movie.

I think the plan was to turn Dark Shadows into the Addams Family movies and start a big deal franchise out of it. This was doomed to fail on every level and the movie is worth no attention. Better off watching Sly Stallone trying to do a comedy and I never said that about anything else in my entire life.

If you are a fan of the TV show Dark Shadows, you probably won't like this movie. In the tv show, Barnabus hated being a vampire. He was trying to find a way to become human again. In this show, Barnabus is a blood sucker. Totally opposite of the show. In the movie, Vickie Winters and Maggie Evans are the same person. In the show, they are two different people with two completely separate roles. The only thing this movie had in common with the TV show is the characters had the same names. Other than that, they had nothing in common. I recommend you skip this movie.

How sad that Burton/Depp decided to "sex-up" this film with breasts, bad actresses, and lousy script offerings. Not one character was worthy of any type of accolade. Some things should be left in the past...and this is one of them.

Sure, you had the basic premise of pitiful Barnabus being cursed by Angelique, but there was no back story of any worth. Josette was thrown in as just a "special-effect" death...with no relationship with Barnabus, whatsoever.

Fast-forward to the future and it's sick/silly. Nothing was funny and they showed every single joke in the trailers. Felt sorry for the "whoosh" from the original cast that got thrown in...and Chris Lee was useless.

The lines of this film were thrown away...and close-ups of Depp's various makeup jobs were sloppy.

There is no excuse for doing a film of this cheapness and calling it after something that was so enjoyed by past generations. Two series are worth more than this mess. Please....save your money and rent the originals...from Net Flix.

See what true story-telling should be, not this lack-a-daisical junky stuff. This will end up being on the bottom of every Walmart bin....for $1 for many years.

Vampire Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) awakens from his 200-year sleep and discovers his family is not right and resolves to make the family prosperous again. Not all know he is a vampire.

I had no prior knowledge of the Dark Shadows TV show. I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that Johnny Depp is a good actor and I took a chance hoping that it wasn't scary because, as you know, I need to sleep at night.

What it wasn't: Not scary, not funny, and not entertaining. And after all that I had to ask myself: why was this made in the first place? Nothing made sense. A story should have a beginning, a middle and an ending. This had a middle and stayed there as we had nothing to look forward to because the middle never moved anywhere. And, there was no caring for any of the characters because we didn't really get a chance to get to know them. See?

I stayed with it for one reason. I did like Johnny Depp's performance with that cadence. If the script was any better this might have had a chance at being entertaining. Didn't happen.

One bright spot was a Karen Carpenter song that they let play almost all the way through. Very good, but that was the only bright spot. Alice Cooper was brought in and, of course, looked every bit Goth as I guess that was a theme someone forgot to capitalize on.

I was looking for something as good as The ADDAMS FAMILY, and maybe even THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. Didn't happen. (1/10)

Violence: Yes. Sex: Not really. They tried but with clothes on. How is that possible you ask. Trust me, it isn't. Nudity: No. Language: Limited soft stuff and not much of it.

I lasted 30 minutes and shut it off. Stupid movies comes to mind when I think of my reaction. It tries so hard to be "vampy" and fails miserably.

Terrible writing and Depp as Barnabus is a complete fail. And someone has a real fetish for the character's hands since shots of him stroking everything in the mansion are prominent.

Looks kind of good, but that can't replace decent writing and the writing is so bad, it ain't worth a watch.

I was probably more excited than anyone when I heard a new Dark Shadows movie was going to be made. I was even more excited to learn Johnny Depp was behind it. WIth his clout in Hollywood, and his fan base, I knew the movie would get the needed financial backing and draw a crowd at the theaters. This was going to be great.

Then I heard Tim Burton was signed on. It never occurred to me, and I suppose it should have, that he would bring Tim Burton into the fold. Tim has done some great work - Sleepy Hollow is a favorite of mine, except the scene with the old witch who was a talking skull whose eyes and tongue popped out (stupid) this was a great film. Once I heard Tim was on board I knew the stupidity would commence and the film would be ruined. I really hoped Depp wouldn't allow "Stupid Burton Tricks" in this film. They were both supposed to be fans of the show. Clearly, they weren't. They just made the claim to win over TRUE Dark Shadows fans. It is unfortunate that Depp allowed Burton to ruin what could have been a great film. It's unfortunate Burton was ever signed on to the project.

The other reviews here give enough examples of the stupidity I refer to. I had hopes for new blood for Dark Shadows. A new future, with new stories. Now I can only hope we won't have to endure a sequel as well.

Thanks Tim for driving a stake through the heart of my childhood memories.

As a person who watched Dark Shadows in the beginning when it first was on TV it was a great disappointment to watch this movie. Maybe it would have been okay if I had not seen the original shows but watching this adaptation made me cringe!

Johnny Depp and Michelle Pheiffer should have known better if they had ever really became involved in the original show.

Makes me wonder what Jonathan Frid and other people in the original show really thought of this movie.

My daughter saw it at the theater (got in free) and she said she was so glad she didn't pay to see this nonsense!

Johnny Depp has always been a favorite actor of mine especially his "Pirates" movies, but after this debacle I will be very leery of him and any future movies!

Having been raised on the original Dark Shadows TV series and having seen the original dark shadows movie (btw, it was done MUCH better than this farce) I was disappointed... in the roles Jonny Depp and Tim Burton played in bringing this mockery to the theater. It bears VERY little resemblance to ANY of the original series or movie, and that resemblance is only in the names of the characters.

How a Gothic romance horror can be turned into this joke of a movie is beyond my ability to comprehend. there was no horror and very little "goth" or romance. I understand the need to "modernize" a movie to make it appealing to a different generation, but this is not modernization, it is butchery. Would you approve of the works of Shakespeare being butchered in such a way? The tell tale heart turned into a comedy with NO resemblance to the original work? No..

My advice to all those who loved the original series OR the original movie? No not watch this, you will /wrists before the movie is even 1/2 way through.

And Tim Burton? Jonny Depp? I am ashamed and appalled to EVER call you great after what you did to this story...

I usually like the Burton/Depp combination, sometimes a lot, sometimes not so much, but this, I'm afraid, is very poor stuff indeed. I have no idea what Burton was aiming for, but the general ambiance is of a low-grade afternoon TV film aimed at the early-teen market. The female characters were straight out of "Bewitched", and many of the special effects were a mishmash of "Beetlejuice" and "Death Becomes Her" coated in the usual Burton eye-shadow (not intrinsically a bad thing, but now starting to look like last year's "colourway"). There is no character or plot development, the film is neither scary nor humorous. Would uncritical twelve year olds like it? I don't know, but it's not for critical adults, that's for sure. Spend your money on something else.

I was confused with it's slow moving action, no comedy, in my opinion, it was made to be funny, the original is good and adding a fun twist and humor would be cool but it was just neither following original yet not funny. I wasted my money on it and advice anyone who likes funny horrors or vampire films-this is not for you. it's a pg 13 twilight style. I'm a big horror ,horror comedy, sci-fi horror fan and I was terribly disappointed!!! On my opinion all actors were perfectly selected for the movie but their acting was terrible,only Barnabas was great. The most I was disappointed with Dr.Hoffmann,she was awful. What was really fantastic is outfits!!! Abosolutelly the coolest what movie had! Honestly the most ridiculous is attitude of a vampire to a woman-she put him in a coffin and he being so powerful didn't even try to break these chains,only little boy helped set him free! That's not everything about them-he beat her up,even a vampire must be polite and have self respect of something in this style-what is an example for the kids who will watch it??? I think it's just bunch of episodes connected together without any sense! Hollywood really suck last time!!!

A campy performance by J.Depp, a strong supporting cast, some cool and fun special effects here and there, and jokes about the early 70s popular trends cannot save this movie from being one of 2012's worst releases.

There are no thrills, there is very little action, there are very few funny moments, the pace is slow, there is no character development, the plot is thin and not clever. Even a performance by Alice Cooper is boring and goes nowhere.

The original soap opera -- despite the unintended campiness of the supernatural mumbo-jumbo story lines -- at least had some character development and a relentless tension making it ABC's most watched show during its heyday in the late 1960s. Of significance is the fact that the series had dream sequences, morphing, etc., all done with the limitations of being a daytime soap with one-shot takes that went straight from live to tape. Sadly, Tom Burton spent millions of dollars on 21st century digital technology for special effects and came up with a boring, pointless film which is neither a campy comedy nor a supernatural thriller.

There was a 1991 short-lived miniseries which had a compelling cast (Ben Cross, a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt), solid plot lines (for a supernatural story), and a taut, tense pace filled with action, sex, and horror. Watch that one and pass on this turkey.

Loved the show, but the 2012 movie sucked. The TV show was kind of Twilight Zone spooky. The Movie made it a campy joke! Anyone who couldn't wait to get home from school or work to watch the original series will detest this film. It takes all the characters and storylines that made you sit on the edge of your seat in fright and awe and turned them into silly fools and comedy story plots. Someone needs to make a real Dark shadows movie, and make it into the spooky thriller the original one was. Even the comedy remakes of horror classics that Abbott and Costello did back in the day were still scarry in between the comedy. Such is not the case with this Tim Burton fiasco.

The movie does not do neither Tim Burton nor the actors justice in any way.

I watched this movie with an open mind. I want my time back. In my opinion, anyone that is a fan of the tv show can't like this movie. We all know that Barnabus did not like being a vampire and tried anything he could to be come human again. In this movie, they made Barnabus a bloodsucker. Also, in the movie, they made Victoria and Maggie the same person. Why would they do that? We all know that they are two different people and have their own stories in the show. This might be the first Tim Burton movie I didn't like.

Seeing this made me wonder why Tim Burton and/or Johnny Depp ever thought this would work as campy comedy.

It totally doesn't. Not that my liking the TV show kept me from being open to other approaches to the material. I guess it takes a special kind of person to laugh at a "comedy" that features lots of bright red blood on the screen. And I guess I'm not one of them.

Michelle Pfeiffer is wasted too. And she seems like someone who should have known better. The total of enjoyable moments clocked in at under 10 for me. An opening scene set on a cliffside, and a nice song by Alice Cooper that sounded great on the theater speakers. I barely even like or listen to Alice Cooper anymore. The fact that his appearance was the most enjoyable part lets you know how little I liked this.

As it should. It sucks! Thirty seconds are good, title and last few seconds of end titles have sampled some appropriate music from the original series, and that little bit is all that that worked for me, (and that will work only for those who recognize it), and is in sharp contrast to everything else that is a muddled mess of a bastard adaptation of some of the original story line. Was surprised that they did keep it very serious for the most part. All the funny bits are in the adds and trailers. But the Nosferatu Barnabas look prevented any of this cinematic waste to work at all. In short the original fan will like the fact that it is a muddled mess and the newbie will just be bored to tears. So ironically original fans may get more enjoyment out of this, bit not in any way that the makers of this intended. If you blink you will miss the classic cast enter a doorway and then two of them in a background of another shot. Not a word spoken or mouthed. That may be something for all to follow as a good example of how to handle this. Don't speak about it, and I for one won't waste any more time thinking about it.

If the tone set in the first ten minutes of Dull Shadows had been carried over into the last 110 minutes of the film, this would have been a very good entry in the Burton/Depp oeuvre. Instead, the tone changes drastically from Sleepy Hollow to a poor man's Beetlejuice. It's as if the opening sequence was directed by a skilled craftsman and the remainder by a skilled but inexperienced dilletante. The sets are excellent, as is the cinematography but the characters are underdeveloped and the actors underused. Depp puts in a carefully crafted performance as Count Chocula, but not Barnabas Collins. This is a disaster and the threat of a sequel is unbearable. Certainly, the original series was a bit campy but charmingly so. This film is just over the top in a very underwhelming way. Guess though that as long as it sells seats that's all that matters in Hollywood. As it goes this film is all dressed up with no where to go.

I was a fan of the television show, but from what I'd heard, this was going to be played for camp, and I was alright with that. However: almost all of the campy parts were seen in the trailer. This movie was a complete waste of my time and money. I can't imagine that Johnny Depp or Michelle Pfeiffer are proud of their work in this movie. It bounced from horror to comedy (or rather, attempted comedy) to martial arts to sheer stupidity. The story line was strained; I didn't care about any of the characters; and the love scene was ridiculous. After about 15 minutes, I was already looking at my watch, as was the person I was with. If I had been watching this on Netflix, I would have stopped after no more that 15 minutes. Other movies on my worst list: The English Patient;Ready to Wear; Dumb and Dumber. Blech. SAVE YOURSELF!!! DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS AWFUL, AWFUL MOVIE.

Dark shadows is just absolutely terrible, it is muddled, BORING, poorly acted to be honest, and a complete waste of talent. Tim Burton is obviously a very talented actor, so I don't know what kinda whacked up stuff he was on when he did this movie, but even if he was that's still no excuse for delivering this trash to us. I'm not a humongous Depp fan, but he has been good in previous films, he was NOT in this one, he is annoying and way too over the top here. This film is not funny, when it tries to get out a laugh, it falls flat every time. Helena carter is lazy and lackluster here too. And I usually like Michelle Pfeiffer, but come on Michelle, you deserve better material than this! The events are boring and the plot i.e. uninteresting and the script is very lazy and phoned in. 1/10.