User reviews

After making a really bad Willy Wonka & and a quite terrible Alice in Wonderland, the Tim Burton ----Johnny Depp pairing presents us with the jackpot. A shockingly puerile Dark Shadows. Having interesting sets and lots of make up is not sufficient to make a good motion picture. The use of "humour" is awful....well worn jokes about the "fish out of water" theme, and other predictable nonsense & rubbish.....the weak, tired dialogue is simply not good enough. The central story (actually there is no perceptible central story !!) is so badly handled ....this may go down in history in the cult genre of "one of the worst movies of all time". This really is Ghastly Gothic Garbage. Tim Burton always gives us lots of heavily made up actors, bad scripts and good looking sets. However, these things become tiresome after a while ....even the Tim Buton "fans" must see this as a very impotent movie. Take a holiday Mr. Burton. Come back when you have a new idea. We have seen all of this before.

Tim Burton must be the world's most unpredictable director. In the last ten years he's made what I consider to be his best movie - the exemplary SWEENEY TODD musical - as well as directing two stinkers which are the nadir of his career, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY and ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Unfortunately, DARK SHADOWS continues the latter trend, as this is his worst ever film, an odyssey of inanity from beginning to end.

Burton has always been a style-over-substance director and that's taken to the extreme here. DARK SHADOWS is ostensibly based on a classic '60s-era vampire TV soap opera, but what Burton has done is to take the basic premise and instead make his own version of THE ADDAMS FAMILY. You know, a family of kooks and weirdos, right up his street apparently. I sat watching this film and wondered just what exactly I was supposed to be thinking or feeling. The plot is tedious and long-winded and seems to go on forever. The film is a visual treat but there's no story, just a random connection of set-pieces. Some scenes, like the violent sex scene, are embarrassingly stupid. Was this supposed to be a comedy? There are some quirky moments, yes, but I have to say I didn't laugh once.

Johnny Depp delivers YET another of his kooky character performances and surely audiences must be bored of these by now. His vampiric lead is a complete bore, a collection of tics and weird behaviour that leads a vacuous hollow in the centre of the movie. Helena Bonham Carter is shoehorned into a storyline she doesn't belong in, just because she was Burton's wife, and Michelle Pfeiffer looks bored - who can blame her? Her role in STARDUST was a lot more fun. Poor Eva Green is the best actress in this thing, and her undeniable talents are wasted throughout. She deserves a lot better. The most embarrassing performance comes from the awful Chloe Grace Moretz - what were they thinking? - although I admit that the Alice Cooper and Christopher Lee cameos were nicely done. Overall, though, DARK SHADOWS is a hulking mess of a movie and one of the worst yet. Can Burton retire now, please?

From the trailer, I was expecting Tim Burton to re-conjure up his clever supernatural formula of his 1988's BEETLEJUICE. I knew that he was going to take a comedic direction as compared to the serious Gothic thriller versions of the 60s and 90s TV series . However, Burton failed to make this one work, much less a big screen version to the successful series. In fact, I would be so generous as to say that the trailer makes better sales pitch than the movie itself.

But apparently I was sheep enough to be deceived by its sly marketing.

Ghosts, witches, vampires and werewolves would certainly make good concoctions for an interesting supernatural movie premise after the recent splash of the superhero ensemble that was THE AVENGERS. But it seems that that was pure wishful thinking. I was bored to my bones and uninterested throughout the entire movie. I found myself practically praying when the movie is going to end as my focus was beginning to drain out.

On another level, it's quite plain to see that the Burton-Depp collaboration has been definitely been exhausted. I mean I should have seen the tell-tale signs that their so-called "professional marriage made in cinema heaven" had faded when they did the trying-too-hard screen version of the musical SWEENEY TODD. It seems like their last best project together would have to be SLEEPY HOLLOW and whatever they do afterwards seems to be forced. It's as if Hollywood itself is the mastermind that makes them keep up with the charades.

Strangely enough, it was Depp himself who jokingly hinted on E! that his collaboration with Burton seems to be failing like many Hollywood marital affairs. And it was proved a true revelation in this latest box-office bomb (to me, at least).

Like many others who flocked early to get the tickets, I was really anticipating a fun journey. Instead, all we got was an arid unimpressive trip into oblivion. I suppose those who among the lucky ones to have snapped up tickets to sold-out shows really deserved the junk that we saw on screen.

As colourful as the poster might have looked the only vibrance about DARK SHADOWS were the 70s costumes and Helena Bonham Carter's rich makeup. Even those did not feel authentic to the era other than tunes by The Carpenters.

I must say that it was a terrible waste of talents to be in this excuse of a "dark comedy". From Michelle Pfeiffer to the gorgeous Eva Green and cameos by Christopher Lee and the original "Barnabas Collins", Jonathan Frid (who passed on following the wrap-up). At the risk of sounding cruel I suppose his demise was probably due his disappointment Burton's treatment to his original series. And even Alice Cooper's presence did not particularly grace the film with his homage to the age of rock-and-rock of the 70s.

Multiple instances of sexual assault towards Depp's character throughout the movie. Each time this happened as well, it was just seen as normal or a good thing because Depp's character was supposedly so attractive. On top of this, they continued to sexualize Chloe's CANONICALLY UNDERAGE character throughout her screentime.

I truly don't have enough words to describe how terrible this movie is. None of the characters (expect Depp's I guess) are likeable. None of them are good people. The only person who is "good", the little boy David, is just not even likeable either. The movie is about Depp's relationship with the character "Vicky", short for Victoria (WHICH BURTON HAS ALREADY USED THAT NAME IN CORPSE BRIDE), yet you hardly see them interacting and forming a relationship. The movie introduces Vicky as the main character, yet barely focuses on her character after Depp's is introduced.

The only reason why I continued to watch it was for the really well-put together aesthetic, which does not make up for the movie enough. You will not miss anything if you don't watch this movie; in fact, I recommend just watching another vampire movie.

It took a while to watch this and I wanted to watch it ever since the trailer came on TV also I've never watched the original series so can't compare them. It looked so funny and classic Burton/Depp partnership . However on watching it it seemed to be crude with a rubbish script and stilted acting. There were random plot twists that had no bearing on the main plot and not much of a back story to go on. There were a few funny one liners but the ones used in the trailer so a film your fooled into thinking is good until you watch it. I also didn't like the ending which basically repeated the beginning so really all you have to do is watch the beginning think of the obvious ending and you have pretty much watched the film.

The idea of it i really liked what would happen if a vampire randomly woke up in modern day how would it act. However this is a tired theme running from queen of the damned and of course the original series (which i will stress again i haven't seen). However, in my opinion with the Gothic mansion that for some reason hadn't been touched in the last 200 years and the almost Victorian looking clothes i sometimes forgot that it was in fact modern day.

I am a Burton fan and a Depp fan, I think they create magic on set with Burton's ideas and Depp's improvisation so I'm disappointed with what they accomplished when they could have gone a lot further with this however for some reason chose not to.

This movie is an insult to the watcher. With Tim Burton's overly used plots and characteristics, after watching 2 or 3 Burton films, you will get offended and ask yourself; "How many times a Director can play me for a fool?"

Tim Burton executes this well. With weak plot, taking so much from the earlier Tim Burton movies, fails to achieve anything noteworthy let alone entertain the audience.

I think we are sick of the "Burtonesque" cast choices and visuals and after a while, seeing hundred Johnny Depp characters, Barnabas Collins shows us, Depp is not a good actor, as a matter of fact, Depp is really unable to do anything besides playing himself.

Dark Shadows is a bad idea, Tim Burton should be ashamed.

Ed Wood was the last time Burton really kept me in aww~mode... I have been a long time fan of his work & his overall feel, but this time out, everything falls flat and not even the blue cheekbones of Sir Depp can bring this back to life. Shame.

It should be noted as well that while shot with a big budget, the Collinswood set feels about as big as a shoebox. I guess all the money went into that house, but I could not help notice how small the world the movie took place in. Its basically narrow streets and two canneries at the end of a pier~

The biggest fault I had with the movie (which I was consistently trying to enjoy as it went on) besides the script was the casting. Everyone was bland, lifeless and dull. Depp was the obvious standout, getting the laughs and embodying Barnabas,but everyone else left me with a kind of smattering of appeal towards their characters. When they weren't absent for 45 minutes between scenes (Im looking at you Governess), the supporting cast kind just turned up their "gufaww" rate and walked right through everything.

But the music is great!

Unfortunately, it was a total bust. My favorite childhood TV show made into a movie by two of my favorite folks, Director Tim Burton and actor Johnny Depp. What could possible go wrong? - everything... Mr. Burton never decides if he is making a comedy or a horror or a drama or a satire and ends up with a jumbled mess. What an utter disappointment. Eva Green tries her best with the script she is given and Jackie Earle Haley as Willie Loomis gives a competent performance. Johnny Depp seems bored with his role and obviously does not have his heart in it. Gulliver McGrath does bring the innocence of David Collins into the film and was the only character that brought to mind the feeling of the 60's hit show. I knew with it being a Burton film that I was not going to walk into a remake of the Dark Shadows of the 1960's, but I did not expect to walk into a piece of junk.

Angelique dooms Johnny Depp to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire, and then placing him in one of the worst movies I've ever sat through. This is just awful. I'm talking Speed Racer or Battlefield Earth awful. Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family are more annoying than a dozen nails grating across a chalkboard. To make a vampire analogy, this is one Depp/Burton movie that should have NEVER seen the light of day. It's terribly paced, not funny and not interesting. Other then that...

First off, it's just plain bad. No coherent direction, at times it feels like it's trying to be a comedy, others it tries to be serious, since it never chooses it just falls flat. The staging, costumes, etc were gorgeous. Depp was great as Barnabus, but, the story played out flat.

As for the comedy aspect, what you saw in the trailers was 90% of what was funny in the movie.

Classic failure of Hollywood today, wow you with the trailer, get a big name to lead the film, have gorgeous sets and costumes, set in a beautiful location, in the end it's a stinker.

Not sure what type of movie this is .... other than bad. If it's a comedy then it's not funny, not even once. If it's a drama then it's not serious enough. My guess is that they tried to make a comedy but even a bad comedy will get at least a few chuckles, this is just flat and lifeless.

This is a movie where people are either creeped out by Johnny Depp or want to have sex with him, while he acts like a total cartoon but is somehow portrayed as the coolest guy in the room. He fights to undo a monstrous curse put upon him by an abusive witch who is trying to force him to love her, but his hands aren't exactly clean, either.

And, man, I dunno. It's kind of on the nose, y'know?

This is probably a movie that the deeply die hard Johnny Depp fans like, because it's Depp doing the thing that he does, and he's with Helena Bonham Carter and she's doing the thing that she does.

But the entire time I was completely distracted thinking about how the perspective of this movie feels so strange considering the last few years of Johnny Depp's career. It left me feeling uncomfortable.

It's also just kind of a weird, messy movie. Barnabus is meant to be the movie's protagonist, but he murders quite a lot of people and though it's funny that he apologizes for some of the killing, sometimes he's merciless in a way that doesn't seem great. It also spreads characterization way too thinly -- take Victoria, who seems to be important to the story but only shows up in, like, five scenes in the whole movie? There are huge stretches where you'd forget who she even was, because the focus is more about this fish-out-of-water story where the fish somehow just adapts perfectly to his surroundings.

And it keeps getting messier, and messier, and messier. Despite nearly two hours of runtime, it can feel like half the movie is missing, because things just randomly happen in the way that they sometimes do in bad movies. There are several 11th-hour revelations like this towards the end that fall in to this category; things that are never mentioned before, never set up in any capacity, but somehow happen for convenience sake. It's bad.

Look, I'll level with you: I watched this because I honestly got it mixed up with the "What We Do in the Shadows" movie. I figured I'd still give it a shot anyway. Don't make the same mistake I did; this isn't worth your time.

I have never been so disappointed and angered by a movie in my life! Dark Shadows was one of the greatest TV shows/soap operas ever made, and this movie did nothing to honor its legacy at all. It was a giant piece of smelly crap! I used to run home from school every day to watch the original Dark Shadows on television at 4 p.m., and it was a thrill for me and every other fan who adored the series and the cast. All of the fans were heartbroken when the series ended. In later years, we were able to buy the series on DVD (the only soap opera ever made available to purchase). We were able to buy the Dark Shadows movies, and an attempt to revive the series in 1991 with actor Ben Cross failed, but at least it was a genuine attempt to stay as true as possible to the original series.

The problem is that you simply can't remake something as classic, unique and ground-breaking as the original Dark Shadows. In fact, most movies that try to retell classic TV shows fail, with just a couple of exceptions.

This movie was so boring and so bad that it probably made Dan Curtis roll over in his grave. For those who don't know, Dan was the creator of the original Dark Shadows. Johnny Depp is a fine actor, but he's no Jonathan Frid. I respect his attempt, but it fell way short.

The original series was not a comedy and the lame attempts at comedy were an insult to a classic series that was anything but comedic. The fact that four of the original cast members made a brief cameo in this movie simply proves that they had respect for Tim Burton by accepting his invitation to appear, but most likely they were paid handsomely to appear as well. Who can blame them? Also, I want to say that I have enjoyed many of Burton's other movies. He just should have passed on this one.

I only know that I did not like this film at all. I'm sorry I watched it because it took me 6 years to break down and do so, and I got exactly what I thought I'd get. A horrible experience. Just leave the original Dark Shadows alone! It will live on and on and on without any help.

I had such high hopes for this movie.

The clashing of black-clad Victorian prudishness with garish swinging 70s has amazing comic potential, especially with the irony that the prude kills people. Imagine a bicycle outing along the beach, with Barnabas on a velocipede. Imagine the family surprising him by fixing up his coffin with a water-bed and fiber optic lamp. It could have been so good.

So what the hell happened? Lots of people have pointed out that the movie was a mishmash-- didn't know whether it was satire, slapstick, drama or what. True, but the bigger problem is the dull, dull pacing -- the actors just trudge from one plot point to the next, passing up every opportunity for originality along the way.

None of the characters have any back story, they look like Burton picked them out of a catalog. That's especially noticeable in the villain, whose motivations are completely one- track and ridiculous. You can't have a character on screen for 20 minutes without developing her somehow. Snidely Whiplash is a more believable villain. In fact, not one of the characters was remotely likable.

I like Tim Burton and even defended Planet of the Apes (garbled ending and all), but he should have turned this concept over to Wes Anderson.

Tim Burton only made one mistake, making this movie. I gave it 2 stars but I could give it 0. The mix of comedy and horror(?) in this movie doesn't mix well at all. I like the melancholy but the movie is confusing, the script is mostly to blame because it could be incredible speaking of the cast. The film is huge, I consider it a waste of time because there are scenes that are extremely shameful to watch. Taking into account the cast, the editing, the screen and the effects are good, but what really bad everything is how the film was made. I don't have much more to say but I need to submit 53 more chars.

Wow, where to start...First off I am a fan of Tim Burton's movies and especially Tim Burton & Johnny Depp collaborations, but this time it just did not work. The story was a bore and dragged along. Even though it was centered around a 200 year old vampire it wasn't believable. It was just bad. It almost seem the cast was making it up as they went along but never quite connected as a group. Weird, confusing plot twist like Chloë Grace Moretz character in the last 10-15 minutes of the movie is suddenly a werewolf with zero explanation or even a slight hint leading up to this!!!! WHAT!!??

I've seen better plots and more convincing acting in a high school drama play. Thankfully I didn't waste my time & money seeing this at the theater but I'm still disappointed I wasted the space in a BB queue. Don't rent, RUN!

I am a huge Johnny Deep and Tim Burton fan, so I'm sure you can understand my disappointment of this film. if you're looking for a comedy i don't suggest this movie,dark shadows is not a fine work for Deep or Burton. the plot line was a tad bit pointless and some parts didn't even make much sense, the beginning was pretty cool but after that things just got weirder and weirder. i'm sorry to say that i do not recommend this movie, and i'm pretty sure they sort of ripped of a Goldie Hawthorn movie. so my apologies to anyone who enjoyed this film or to those looking to view it, but in my honest opinion i am highly disappointed and i have lost two hours of my life i can never get back

If it wasn't for the obviously enormous budget that went into hiring stars and starlets as well as the CGI efforts and special effects (which by the way look idiotic at some points), this movie would be categorized as a B-Movie at best.

The story is flat and uninspiring (bad witch curses everyone, yaaaawn!) and flat out predictable. The end doesn't make any sense at all and seems completely rushed.

Seeing Johnny Depp as yet again another make-up-overloaded "weirdo character" gets boring by now as well and all of the other actors except for Eva Green seem to not give it their best at all. The acting is laughably corny in a lot of the scenes.

This movie tries sooooooo hard to be funny it is painful at times and rarely successful. The obvious product placements throughout the story are annoying as well.

3/10, unwatchable disappointment and a waste of time.

Visually very beautiful, from the costume design to the set, but that's all I liked, it's not boring, but also not entertaining.

I feel like this movie tried to broach many topics, but didn't fully do any of them right. Family, revenge, love; all of them seemed present, but they had no depth; it was all in favor of being a campy movie. It would be fine if it were a good comedy, but there are just a couple of jokes scattered about.

This movie made me question if Johnny Depp even knows how to portray characters. Barnabas seemed very one-dimensional, even when tragic things happened to him, not even his supposed love of a character could get him to act differently. I expected more. I get that it's a weird character, but it's a character that goes through a lot of situations, and for them to all have this underlying caricature of a personality, where it's not quirky but plain confused about the world, is just annoying, yes, it's different from how you remember but that doesn't mean you cant adapt even a little.