Bad Meat

BAD MEAT is a horrible little film, a zero budget Canadian flick that seems to have aspirations to be the next Troma film. Certainly it's a waste of time for all but the most dedicated of B-movie veterans, as it's cheap looking, badly written, highly clichéd, and full of bad taste situations.

Now, I'm not adverse to a little bad taste here and there, as long as it's required by the plot. David Cronenberg is one of my favourite directors, after all. But the level of bad taste on here is just infantile as the filmmakers go out of their way to offend the sensibilities of their viewer. Characters eat the titular meat and are subject to fits of copious vomiting before they eventually turn into bloodthirsty zombies.

The boot camp plot line - the heroes are a group of wayward teenagers, all of them stereotypes - is a poor one and barely gets off the ground before the nonsense begins. The vomiting isn't even the worst - a scene where a woman has sex with a muscled black guy by using a strap-on on him is one of the most pointless I've ever watched. Once the zombie action kicks off, very little happens, and the gore is surprisingly mild given the unpleasantness that's come beforehand. The film also runs out of budget before the end, meaning the story ends abruptly halfway through so that you don't end up knowing the fate of the characters (not that you want to) while other sequences are excruciatingly drawn out.

A real gross-out movie, with just a little imagination and hard-gore action. Actually better than expected and I don't think it will disappoint fans (too much) of the 'Out There' type zombie flicks but that is no real sign of quality. I just about hung on to final frame.

A group of wayward teenagers are sent to a boot-camp by their parents to teach them a lesson. The people running it are complete nutters and ridiculously unsavoury characters. I don't know why they're even running the boot-camp or how.

The kids are all cliché characters, irritating and unlikable. The acting is pretty terrible as is the script.

There is emphasis on what the staff running the camp are eating and the fact that they viciously kill a dog who won't stop barking. The film shows a random scene of two of the staff members having a bizarre sexual encounter and then becoming violently ill. Vomit in the grossest form is literally everywhere.

The staff then turn into crazed zombies and chaos ensues somewhat like a carry on film. It's all very silly and pointless. There is a survivor in the hospital that the film keeps cutting to who is basically a bloody, dripping mess covered in bandages. Who this person is, why, how etc... is not found out.

I'd read about Bad Meat's troubled production—how the original director was replaced and funding was cut—and was prepared for something truly terrible, so I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of fun I actually had with this crazy, gory, sexy, twisted little horror flick. Yes, it does suffer from some editing issues, with the hospital scenes feeling awkwardly inserted into the main story and an ending that leaves the viewer wondering what the hell just happened, but I found the rest of the film so insanely entertaining that it's easy for me to be forgiving.

The film takes place in Hardway Camp, an establishment in the middle of nowhere where exasperated parents can ship their unruly kids, safe in the knowledge that they will be thoroughly disciplined by the tough and uncompromising staff. Six new arrivals, three teenage boys and three (hot) teenage girls, are subjected to the camp's extreme regime, at least until the staff fall ill, the result of bad meat served to them by Hardway's unhappy chef. As the teens slowly come to realise what has happened, they start to think about making a bid for freedom, but any plans are put on hold as the seriously sick staff suddenly become a lot more lively, turning into cannibalistic monsters!

A refreshingly carefree 'anything goes' approach ensures that the action is never boring, with plenty of gruesome splatter and WTF? moments to astonish and disgust even the most jaded of viewers. I was particularly surprised by the S&M sex antics of two of the guards, which sees a sexy female guard and her male co-worker indulging in some eye-watering role reversal. Other memorable scenes include the same couple involuntarily vomiting in each other's faces, the rather nauseating dissection of a dead dog, one of the teenagers being woken up in a most unorthodox fashion, and the repeated application of an improvised stomach pump. The film also benefits from a high totty level: the aforementioned female guard dons sexy rubber attire, while all three of the delinquent girls are absolute babes and not averse to sauntering around in their underwear!

This movie had interesting potential. It was an all-encompassing horror hybrid of summer camp slasher, zombie, hillbilly cannibal, horror comedy etc. And then, as multiple people have pointed out, the movie abruptly wraps up DURING the climax with a slapped on montage that resolves nothing. Terry Gilliam and David Lynch have made good movies out of unfinished pieces, but not these jokers.

The basic plot is six teens sent to military school. Three male, three female. We get bits and pieces of their stories, but it doesn't matter because they have no resolution. Dave Franco is the only thing resembling a star and as usual he gets no screen time. He spends most of the movie locked in a box. Somebody wrapped in bandages purporting to be him frames the movie, but it looks like they got a woman to play him. The military school is run by Nazi kinksters and this provides some elements of humor. A mistreated hillbilly cook gets revenge by giving the counselors food poisoning, which leaves them crazily sick for what seems like half a day and then suddenly turns them into cannibal zombies, who sort of act like cats. In spite of the fact that we've seen the meat being poisoned and fed to the counselors, the movie spends ten minutes of plot having an emo biology student cut apart a dog to discover the cause. In a normal movie, he might also discover a cure or something to bring the film to a resolution, but that does not happen. Much time is spent on attempting to find keys to free Dave Franco. Whether and how these keys are used remains a mystery. There's some intrigue and tensions and attempts at character building between the campers, and it's all a waste of time.

It is actually a shame this movie is not 20 minutes longer or could not use its 80ish minutes better. They could have had something, but there is no payoff. And there was no artistic purpose for a lack of payoff. They simply lost film or lost funding.

And what is the conspiracy not to give Dave Franco screen time, even in a movie with no stars? It's bewildering.