Backwoods

I like horror films to make me jump or scream. This one did. Yes, it's the same basic premise we've seen many times in this type of movie, but the plot isn't really what I watch these movies for. Also, there's plenty of new twists/elements in this one. This movie really had me cheering for the "good guys" - I was glad I'd watched it by myself, as the last 20 minutes or so really had me screaming at the TV, cheering the kids on. I really enjoyed watching this movie, and am buying a copy to share with my horror loving friends. Backwoods was apparently produced for Spike TV, so don't expect to see much in the way of blood and gore. (Needless to say, there's no nudity whatsoever.) Some old-fashioned traps make the chase scenes through the forest somewhat interesting, but I pretty much relied on Haylie Duff's hotness to get me through the film's 80 minute runtime (although I must admit I got quite a kick out of watch a mortally wounded techie put on an amazing show of shooting bad guys without even aiming.) If you're a horror fan, Backwoods is certainly a watchable film, but you won't see anything here you haven't seen before.

This movie was absolutely terrifying. I'm sure it'll run through my mind when I drive through some of those back-woods places. The characters were grotesque and I don't think I'll *ever* watch this movie again, but it served its purpose. I don't know whether it was a cold room or getting the bejesus scared out of me, but i shivered quite a bit. Right off hand I'm gonna tell that this movie isn't anything you haven't seen before. It has a typical horror movie set up: a bunch of young people in the woods in the backcountry of some state who run into a bunch of psychos who want to hunt them down and butcher them. If you're thinking " wow, that sounds a lot like the Texas Chain Saw Massacre", well, you'd be thinking right. There's even a gas station scene with a weird creepy hick. But I'm not trying to convey the message that is a Chain saw Massacre rip-off. Texas Chain Saw Massacre was awesome, so I see no problem in people wanting to make more movies like it. But anyways, Backwoods offers nothing new to genre, it's just a plain good ole slice 'em and dice 'em popcorn horror flick. It's not trying to be exceptional, it's just trying be a horror film with enough blood, gore and thrills to suffice any horror fan for the 84 duration time, and in that context, it succeeds.

I saw this picture this morning and was not disappointed or surprised. It was exactly what you would think from a made for tv horror movie. Editing was poor, characters were meh, and overall experience was not worth the waste of home internet data usage.

Yes, you've seen this many times before, "Hills Have Eyes" and "Texas Chainsaw" being the obvious models (albeit with a lot less gore). City folk road-trip to the country, are attacked by inbred survivalist-type family, etc. etc. But especially a movie you'd find free on youtube or hulu or whatever, this one is at least fast-paced, adequately acted, and so forth. You will forget it pronto, but you don't be bored, unless you're the kind of person who needs a whole lot of nudity and gore to stay awake.

OK, seriously, I need to include more lines to post this review? Once you see the movie, you'll understand why there isn't a whole lot to say about it.

And no, not horrible for the violence/gore. This movie is just plain horrible because of the acting, directing, cinematography and far-fetched storyline. I strongly DON"T recommend this film to you because: 1: The story line is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Since when has work been playing paintball in the woods?! 2: Furthering my point of ridiculousness, a cult in the woods run by crazy old women. HUH?? 3: The acting is really bad. So bad, it probably would have been better if Paris Hilton was in it. 4: It's predictable to a high level. 5: It doesn't even meet the standards of a B grade movie which it is trying to be.

So don't be fooled by the "Haylie Duff" on the cover because she is probably the only decent actor in the film but she is hardly in it. If you want to see a decent movie about the woods, see "Wrong Turn" which makes a lot more sense and provides a lot more scares than this disaster of a movie.