Dangerous Worry Dolls

I was actually kind of excited about this movie, it had an interesting plot idea, and sounded pretty original. And at the same time, it kept the whole "Full Moon Killer Dolls" theme going. Even the trailer made it look pretty decent, with an obvious homage to From Beyond. However, the movie moves extremely slow, and is often uninteresting. There is a severe lack of gore, and not much comedy. And a movie like Full Moon should be funny, because you know it is not going to be a genius film. The acting is okay, not awful, not very good. The characters did not seem most likable to me, therefore I didn't really care if anyone died or not. However, the ending is kind of cool. It's just too bad, this movie had some good ideas, but lack of action and good characters make it only okay. Hey, it was better than Petrified.

Having trouble in prison, a woman who has problems dealing with the other inmates finds that her daughters' gifted worry dolls are able to help by possessing her and letting her carry out her desired plans for revenge against them forcing them to find a way to stop her rampage.

This here is a decent enough if slightly-flawed effort. Among the more enjoyable features here is the rather unique concept this brings about in getting the dolls into the film's main story which is somewhat new and creative. There's been very little out there with the actual doll concept used here, which makes for a rather unique idea running wild throughout here which lets this play out quite nicely in the high- end action scenes on display. Though being based on a possessed slasher-style of a story here, there's a big difference in the way this is connected to the idea of the dolls behind it driving her from the inside, as not only do we get the scene of them visually entering her but also managing to let the scenes of her running wild against her tormentors with the brawl in the showers, the scenes of her standing up to the problem inmates who have been threatening her and her friends that makes for quite a large portion of this one as well as letting the rest of her personal vengeance get played out as it drives this one here. With her enhanced abilities and the possession driving her into doing other more ruthless and damaging behavior towards them this one really picks up the pace and makes for quite a fun time with the different methods of torture devised here to get back at them, and given all this with the kind of typically great effects work found in these works it's got some really good parts to be found here. Still, there's quite a few flaws present in such a film. One of the biggest ones here is the fact that there's just so many typical clichés found in the film which are found here as the prison here is basically just like any other with the brutal inmates running wild against the others, the cruel warden who lets the guards rape, abuse and mistreat everyone they feel like and turns this into such an overly predictable manner of prison-bound offering. This one also manages to be quite obvious in it's low-budget nature here at times, really wanting to be bigger or grander but forcing the effects work of the dolls poking through her forehead or the laughably inept holding room for the inmates which is simply just a bunch of cots strewn around an open room which really tends to cause some issues here in their standing in the prison but also the rather obvious low-budget nature of what's happening. Likewise, the fact that they're unable to tell what's happening to here is a little hard to take in, really being quite obvious as well about her condition and not doing anything about it is a little hard to believe. These here are the film's biggest issues.

Rated R: Extreme Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Brief Nudity, a Rape and drug use.

A lifelong fan of Charles Band... or at least since the first Puppet Master film, I am always first to pick up his latest movie, regardless of how silly it might seem. I just got a copy of Dangerous Worry Dolls in the mail last night and, without the slightest hesitation, quickly popped it in the player.

The verdict? Its sadly time for Charles Band to ditch the "tiny things do bad stuff" storyline he's been milking for the past 20 years. This one is certainly the final nail in the teeny, tiny coffin.

First, the good: Band is DIRTY in this flick! His past few films have bordered on PG-13; but this one has some really racy stuff (full frontal nudity! sodomy!) and nice, albeit short, gore gags. The lead actress is pretty easy on the eyes, too.

And that's about it.

Now, the bad: The plot is a total mess, with no real direction and numerous story lines leading absolutely nowhere. A nervous girl with a permanent worried look on her face is so over-the-top, she becomes hilarious. While there is some gore, not ONE of the deaths takes place on-screen. Out of the four titular one-inch-tall "worry dolls", only one is used - and we have NO idea where its power comes from or why it does what it does.

And the REALLY bad: Hardly anyone in the film notices the golfball-sized pimple growing on the lead character's head, leading to some unintentionally hilarious scenes. It also randomly changes in size and looks totally different in all close-ups. A "twist" involving a guard is one of the most embarrassing moments in any Full Moon movie - ever.

And the REALLY, REALLY bad? In a terrible From Beyond ripoff, a tiny, 1/4-inch tall screaming skull pokes out of the main character's forehead, forcing her to do evil deeds. The sight and sound of it, alone, is roll-on-the-floor hilarity.

View this one at your own risk, people. Its a small step in the right direction, especially after Doll Graveyard (which had NO redeeming qualities), but still far from Band's heyday.

This brilliant, over-the-top dark-humored romp is sure to please fans of both the horror and cult genres. With an original (albeit predictable) plot, great special FX, shameless over-acting and numerous tongue-in-cheek lines, this uproarious little gem is destined to be a cult classic. Despite the rather brief plot summary on the DVD, you'll be pleasantly surprised...I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of this latest Charles Band installment. I had not been an avid fan before, but I've got to give Mr. Band "two thumbs up" on this one. The "worry dolls" were exceptionally disturbing....keep up the good work, Charles! Eight stars.

As another reviewer has suggested, it's not worth wasting too much time telling you "this movie sucks". What do you need to know? Cheap, unconvincing sets. Perfunctory acting. Barely coherent plot full of red herrings and non sequiturs. Doesn't last a minute longer than the minimum they can get away with.

This is what? A women's prison? And they have not cells, but dormitories? Through which the male warders stroll while the girls lounge on their beds in their underwear? Even the notoriously cheap Australian soap, Prisoner Cell Block H, had a go at cells, even if the cardboard walls did wobble when people bumped into them.

But what's the point complaining? It's a Charles Band film. That tells you everything you need to know.

Almost everything, but there are still a couple of points worth making. It may be bad, like all Band Full Moon productions, but it's still nowhere near as mind-sappingly awful as something from The Asylum Team. I'm not sure why, but I think it may be because there still survives a sense that someone is trying to entertain you by telling a story, whereas in Asylum mockbusters the cynical and exploitative contempt for the audience has long overshadowed any vestigial vision or artistic purpose.

And there's at least one good scene in it. Well, not good, necessarily, but promising. Eva (Jessica Morris, who, fair dos, actually has a creditable go at making something of her part) is being disciplined by the sadistic (natch) warden/matron (Deb Snyder). So as not to leave any incriminating evidence, the warden produces an old electric shock machine, a wonderfully hokey piece of equipment seemingly stolen from the laboratory of Dr. Frankenstein, full of unnecessary coils and valves. As the warden administers increasingly violent shocks, Eva first laughs ("ooh! - that tickles") then shouts out her defiance and contempt ("you're going to have to do better than that!"). There's a genuine, exhilarating demonic power to all this. If only the scene was properly resolved, instead of cutting away and then returning later to a tableau of the aftermath.

And that's what's so frustrating about cheap films like this. With just a little bit of effort, a little bit of care and attention to detail, that spark of creativity could have been fanned into something worthwhile. Not great, necessarily, but challenging, provocative, or even bitterly funny. At the end of the day, it's not the cheap sets or Ed Wood special effects or amateur acting that does for films like this. They actually don't matter; you only notice them because for so much of the time there's nothing else to notice. No, what does for these films is the laziness, the negligence, the numbing lack of ambition. It's the script and plot that lets them down, and they cost next to nothing. Just spend a bit of time thinking through those plot strands, and find a resolution that ties them together. Dialogue rusty? Get a second pair of ears to work through it. Concentrate on a couple of key sequences (in this film, that'll be the electric shock machine, and the waste disposal unit) and take a bit of time and care getting them right.

But that's the film that might have been. This one, I'm afraid, is not worth wasting your time or money on. Well, probably not. I got my copy from a pound shop. That's a British recession-driven thrift store: everything a pound or less (about a dollar fifty). At that price, I'm not really angry. It gave me a wry smile or two, and added to my knowledge and understanding of Z-grade horror films. But don't pay a penny more.