Poison Ivy: The Secret Society

After the death of her parents, Danielle "Daisy" Brooks (Miriam McDonald) sells the family farm and leaves behind her boyfriend to transfer to Beckshire College. The Ivy Society led by Azalea Berges (Shawna Waldron) dismisses the poor new student until Blake (Ryan Kennedy) takes an interest. The school is still haunted by a female student's mysterious death six months earlier. Magenta is Daisy's film student roommate. Andrew Graves is their political theory professor and Blake's father. Daisy starts working for Blake's mother dean Elisabeth Graves (Catherine Hicks). Azalea wants a prized internship but Daisy has the inside track.

This is most notable for the sexy Icebox. I don't know what else Shawna has done over the years but this is a real eye opening. Otherwise, there is nothing here. This is a weak soft core B-movie and it's not much of a thriller.

Sorry but this LMN waste is nothing but a porno movie and a bad one at that. At least in pornos you get to see more nudity and carrying on. In this we are subjected to these bunch of bimbos, overly made up and lip gloss up to here, go through the antics of being part of a sorority house that is bent in doing evil and murder. The lead gal, a hick from the sticks, is played with a vacant expression throughout the film. The evil one, in a push up bra and tons of eye makeup goes around flirting with all the male losers. In one movie, I'd love to see a character like this get so far in flirting and then be told the guy was gay and she was wasting her time. Just once. So we are forced to sit for two hours just to see them get their uppence. And it is never as exciting as all the bad deeds they do throughout the picture. Those so called sorority girls are all a bit long in the tooth to be playing young coeds. The guys look younger then they do. I wonder what the director was thinking of when he cast this. Boobs, I guess. Certainly not acting.

Onetime child stars Miriam McDonald and Shawna Waldron go the Alyssa Milano route, trying to prove how grown-up they are by taking their clothes off in a terrible Poison Ivy movie. All the Poison Ivy movies are awful but this one, which doesn't actually have anything to do with any of the others, makes Milano's look like Gone with the Wind by comparison. The story is impossibly dumb. The acting is uniformly pathetic. McDonald and Waldron may look good but their acting skills have not grown with their bodies. McDonald is bad. Waldron is way beyond bad, turning in one of the most atrocious performances ever seen. The supporting players are all pretty much terrible as well. Ryan Kennedy, who plays the guy involved with the two key girls, is particularly lousy. To be fair none of the performers are helped by a script which is mind-boggling in its stupidity. McDonald plays Daisy, an innocent country bumpkin who goes away to college. She gets mixed up with the school's powerful all-female secret society, the Ivies. This group hasn't got the "secret" part of secret society down as they live in a big house right in the middle of campus and everybody knows all about them. Anyhow, Waldron plays Azalea, the key figure in this cabal of stupid girls. Azalea wants some internship, she's afraid Daisy might get it. So Azalea hatches schemes to take Daisy down and claim that precious internship for herself. The story has huge holes in it. It is neither believable nor interesting. The movie slogs along towards the finish, interrupted by occasional skin displays from its two leads because honestly getting them naked is the only reason this movie even exists. The ending somehow manages to be even dumber than everything which preceded it with quite possibly the worst fight sequence in movie history. This is a movie which fails in every possible way. If McDonald and Waldron were hoping for a career boost from this, well ladies I've seen Alyssa Milano and you're no Alyssa Milano.

Didn't feel like I was watching a Poison Ivy film. There are seductive touches here, and there. But there's no linking connection to the original Ivy character which the other sequels worked in. Here the story beats were putting me more the mindset of 'Cruel Intentions' meets 'The Skulls'. Still I was surprisingly entertained by this made-for-cable junk, if mainly for the viper performance of Shawna Waldron.

Over the last week I watched the final two entries of the series (The New Seduction & The Secret Society) expecting little to nothing, but I actually came away liking them more then the better regarded first two films.

Small town girl Daisy (Miriam McDonald of Degrassi: The Next Generation fame) attempts to start anew, leaving her steady boyfriend and country life to go to a New England college. She soon becomes embroiled in the manipulation of the secretive feminist Ivy Society, a clandestine club who has many members as well as finds a new love interest in Blake, the dean's son.

Having nothing at all to do with the first three Poison Ivy films, this is merely a slightly below average soft-core (the DVD sexes up the version that debuted on television) female version of "the Skulls". If you've seen that aforementioned film or any of the others of it's ilk, nothing here will catch you by a surprise, as it's simply a paint-by-numbers type of affair. Seeing Miriam shed some clothes might be worthwhile for fans of hers, but that's all there is to recommend this movie.

Eye Candy: Miriam McDonald & Shawna Waldron both get topless; 2 extras also get topless

My Grade: D

DVD Extras: No extras for the movie itself but an anti-piracy psa; corporate schilling for Blu-Ray; trailers for "Alien Raiders", "Friday the 13th", "Wonder Woman"; "Where the f**k is Santa?", & the X-box 360 games "Tomb Raider: Underworld"