Black Devil Doll

For some time I had to think about this movie. It certainly isn't a typical 2/10 home made self-deceived fabrication. After numerous people had praised it, I was certainly beginning to doubt my judgement. It is a movie that describes the rather dubious satisfaction of large busted white women by a sexually adept and stereotypical black doll. If this is an acceptable parody of white attitudes to black people then forgive me. But I honestly imagine that were I black I would be offended and very justifiably so. I can appreciate that in certain regards there is some professionalism that has gone into this racist diatribe but nonetheless....get over your fear that the foreigner will steal your women!

Worst "film" ever made. Unless you're on a self-torturing adventure to watch the crappiest "movies" ever made, (which in this case would take the cake), please, please spare yourself the torment.

Basically, this is a crappy blacksploitation rip-off of Child's Play. Only, instead of the classic horror character of Chucky, this film is centered around a racist, black womanizing doll who has a sick, twisted compulsion to have sex with the nastiest looking white chicks, before killing them.

An episode of Barney the Dinosaur has more genius to its writing than this crapfest. The "comedy" is bottom of the barrel, racist nonsense. It's repetitiveness is more painful than drilling through your own head. The "acting" is the worst I've ever seen. You'd be more likely to find better actors simply asking random people on the street to read the lines from the script. The camera-work sucks, the "directing" is awful, and the "special effects" stink. Everything about this "movie" sucks.

I don't care how small this "film's" budget was. There's simply no excuse for such mediocrity. Clerks, Eraserhead, and Paranormal Activity are three films that were made with roughly equal budgets. And those can actually be called films, unlike this pile of garbage.

It kills me that I have to even give this a 1 out of 10, because a 1 is a far too-generous rating for this crap.

It's all in good fun... Right? No, I don't believe it is. What would be the fun in that, anyway? I don't care who you think you are. I don't care if you think Combat Shock was hilarious. This new and greatly improved Black Devil Doll will grab your sensibilities by the throat and cut it open, and whatever happens after that is your own damn fault. Black Devil Doll is a half homage, half remake of a mind-numbingly awful pile of Z-grade garbage, from the 80's, entitled Black Devil Doll From Hell. A film that, over the years, has gained a bit of a reputation as (arguably) the worst in history. And might I add, a film that has been seen by far too few. but apparently, one day, an aspiring director asked himself a very important question. "What if Black Devil Doll From Hell was a masterpiece?"

Sure, with a little tweaking, here and there. Hire some actual actors. Put some actual money into it. Maybe even cut a few minutes off the opening credits. It could actually turn into something. And what this new Black Devil Doll has turned into will cause a laughing/crying fit, which will know no relief until it's all over. So, a dim-witted chick named Heather messes around with a ouija board, for no particular reason, instantly causing a doll to be possessed by the soul of an executed black-militant (Mubia), who despised white people, and loved raping and slaughtering white women. It's pretty much love at first sight. Although, it might be a short-lived romance, because one woman ain't never enough for this guy, but maybe with a little smooth-talk, Mubia can convince Heather to not only let him cheat on her, but maybe even let him rape and slaughter all her friends... As if she has a choice. Only problem now is just getting her out of the house.

What we have here is simply the most offensive, most outrageous comedy of the past decade. Possibly the most offensive movie since Pink Flamingo's. that's right, I'm a John Waters fan, a Troma fan, and an LBP fan, and now that I've seen Black Devil Doll. I can finally say that I've seen it all. Besides the obvious, Black Devil Doll is also a homage to old Blaxploitation, and Exploitation, in general. I suppose what this film is homaging, and what it actually is, is one in the same. Folks, this is a perfect example of modern Exploitation. For more in future cult classics from this past decade, check out Special Dead, and Sick Girl. If you're smart enough to not take movies seriously, and If you have a sick sense of humor, like someone I know, you will find Black Devil Doll to be positively delightful. And that's a guarantee. 10/10

Is there any reason this film was made? Was it a contest to make a movie that couldn't interest anybody, even a drunk stoner? There was no acting; good, bad or otherwise.

There was actually an idea that could have resulted in a good comedy-horror film in the vein of Meat Weed Madness or some of the other Troma films. Or a sexploitation film like Seduction Cinema makes. The bad acting, script and effects could have actually been used to make this film a cult movie, but everything in the movie was just a waste of time and money to make.

In fact the only redeeming value to the movie is that it gives credit to the plastic surgeon who I assume did the augmentation on some of the actresses. This is good because now other people will know who to avoid, unless they want a bad augmentation.

Black Devil Doll is a nasty little picture, one with no apparent moral compass and the desire to mix the elements and aesthetics of blaxploitation films of the 1970's while loosely following the premise of the Child's Play series and making a priority out of including numerous scenes of doll-on-human sexual intercourse.

The film is inspired by the 1984 film of the same name just with "from Hell" added to the end of the title so we know exactly where this absurd little character once resided. This film's director, Jonathan Louis Lewis, clearly has admiration and a love for the films of the blaxploitation genre, a genre which was largely responsible for hiring young and old black talent in the 1970's to headline such inane pictures as Blacula and Black Dynamite. Lewis, however, creates a film that, while easy to admire for its devotion to such a quirky chapter in cinema's history, is hard to watch and incredibly uncomfortable to sit through, even in its barely-cinematic state of sixty-three minutes.

The main issue is with the approach Lewis chooses to take, which is seemingly to cater to the people who love to watch two foot tall wooden dolls have sex with full-grown women, with the camera, of course, focused on their voluptuous figures. This gets tedious really quickly, especially when the film's one-note joke isn't overplayed but severely underplayed once its intentions become clear. The film is a horror film, like many blaxploitation films were, but it takes so long to build to its horror elements and scenes of violence and gore that we've already laughed so much to even be ready for the horror elements. When they come, it's the most awkward "oh yeah" moment, after we just watched a black puppet have hardcore sex with several different women.

The film's slender story involves Heather (Heather Murphy), a young teen with a bulging bust in a cleavage-bearing top, who is bored one day and decides to remedy her boredom by screwing about with an Ouija board. Heather's antics come back to bite her when the Ouija Board brings her doll to life in the form of a recently deceased serial killer who murdered fifteen Caucasian women before raping them. Now, Heather meets the "black devil doll," falls in love with it, has sex with it numerous times, and so forth.

The second act takes a wee bit of a darker turn, with Heather inviting numerous friends over for an afternoon of fun and drinks but not before the doll can violently assault and have sex with each one.

Films like Black Devil Doll take the very principles of what film criticism was erected off of and shred them so they're unrecognizable. How to rate a film like this effectively is a mystery to me. While the film technically does what it sets out to do, that doesn't mean I had a grand time watching it. The film is so bogged down in dirty-mindedness, gratuitous nudity, graphic, redundant scenes of puppet-on-human sex that do nothing but make one uncomfortable, and then gore and violence to conclude the picture that is tacked on in a way that makes it seem unsure of its own direction.

As stated, Lewis clearly has a fondness for old school horror and the blaxploitation genre. Because of that, I hope he chooses to exercise it again at a later date. This is a picture that would've worked as a short rather than a medium-length film. Better yet, it would've worked best as a daydream.

Starring: Heather Murphy. Voiced by: Martin Boone. Directed by: Jonathan Louis Lewis.