Assault of the Sasquatch

What made me rent this movie was a tweet Joe Rogan made about how bad it was. No joke! And when I saw internet personality Shawn C. Phillips was in it, I had to see it! I had a lot of fun with this movie. Yes, it is a "bad" movie, but it is a fun bad movie. Th Sasquatch is hokey, the acting is bad and the story is a mess. But isn't that what we want from these kinds of flicks? Shawn C. Phillips fans, you will not be disappointed. He screams every and chews scenery like there was no tomorrow. His face goes beet red, veins popping out of his skull, Dennis Hopper in "Blue Velvet" times 10 type stuff. He really is a loon in this. I seriously thought the poor guy was going to have an aneurysm or a heart attack watching this. It was scary! Everyone else was "blah" but on the fun side of bad at least. Everyone knew they were making a fun b-movie, and a fun b-movie it is.

This is heads and tails above similar fare from the SyFy Channel and The Asylum. Where those movies opt for dry and bland, this delivers the goods with several really good kills, foul language and a sense of humor. a good job by all!! If you like these types of B-Movies, you will like this.

Poachers in a bear preserve capture Bigfoot, who ends up being transported to an almost- abandoned police station, where he wreaks havoc.

On the "good" side, Cristina Santiago is smoking hot, there's some brief nudity from another actress, and some of the gore is decent and at times funny, as with the impalement by "Dead End" sign.

On the bad side, the video is of a poor quality which doesn't work well in low-light conditions resulting in a hazy look, and most of the movie is set outdoors at night or in dim interiors. Additionally, the comic relief of Don and Murph is extremely bad. They're very annoying characters, particularly Don who is a grossly overweight man-child who breathlessly shrieks and yells constantly. It's an unfunny shtick he's been doing on YouTube for years, and it's no funnier here than there. Padding out the running time, there are some scenes where the two go around asking people if they're seen the sasquatch, which they have not.

The sasquatch has quite a bad costume, and his behavior is hard to figure. Sometimes he attacks while unprovoked, sometimes he wants to peep on or kidnap young women, at other times rescue them, at other times fight them. Sometimes he'll kill, while at other times he'll just knock somebody out or ignore them.

I guess on the whole the movie is fairly amusing, but it isn't very funny and it certainly isn't good.

When a merciless bear poacher is caught and arrested deep in the woods of a state park, he and his truck are taken to a neglected precinct in the heart of a dying city.

There is some attempt at humor here, such as the nerds approaching the prostitute. In fact, their very presence in the film seems like a running attempt to create comic relief. Members of the Sasquatch Society? Really?

I notice some people have criticized the "gorilla suit" the Sasquatch wears. And, frankly, if you have a Bigfoot in a movie, you probably should show him as little as possible. However, they did a pretty decent job here... and the CGI they used on the facial expressions was not bad (which is shocking after you see how terrible the CGI on the airplane is). This film is bad, but I have seen much worse.

What is there to really say about this? If you go into this movie expecting anything but bottom of the barrel acting, plot, and effects; I'd recommend seeking help. This movie is trying to be one of the self-aware B-horror movies, constantly poking fun at itself, but if fails so miserably that all of it's jokes are funny for the wrong reasons. Pretty much every scene in this movie is funny for the wrong reason.

But hey, you're watching a 'SyFy' movie. You know what this is. It's a cheesy cliché movie shoveled out with a bare minimum budget to try to make a quick buck. I actually enjoyed this movie, but that's because I love poking fun at horrendously bad movies such as this with my friends. So if you're a bad movie fan like me, this is a somewhat fun watch, otherwise this movie is total garbage.

2/10

Visionary film maker Andrew Gernhard directs this fresh take on the Big Foot legend from a superb script by screen writer John Doolan. When a bear hunter is arrested for poaching, he and his truck are taken to a police station in the middle of the city. Unknown is that in the back of that truck lurks Sasquatch. Once the beast escapes into a totally alien environment and seeks revenge, unimaginable horror ensues. Gernhard is masterful at creating atmosphere and an environment of sheer terror. His imagery is haunting and the way he uses his camera quite stunning. Gifted actor Kevin Shea gives a powerful performance and gives his role depth and humanity even when he is at his most menacing. This is a outstanding horror film and one of the finest films in the Big Foot Genre. No one who sees it will forget the startling terror, the blood chilling horror, and unendurable intensity that is Assault of the Sasquatch.