The Twilight Saga: New Moon

What would you do, if a wolf should fall for you, when rejected by your lover, spending months under the covers, he wants more than to be friends, an outstretched paw he's keen to lend, scratch his back and he'll scratch yours, just be careful of those jaws, as the lupine are not supine, and returns from certain bloodlines, can increase the curdling pressure, and then you may just need a tether.

The first movie is better / fresher probably because it was directed by a woman... (maybe that's why the books are just SO cool) and as for the music, well Carter Burwell has genius and experience beyond his years, so that too would make Twilight an infinitely exquisite experience over and above the sequel. More budget doesn't always produce a superior movie, sometimes less is more, so I still prefer the first movie to this one. (I went into the hall and tried opening it. then i forgot what happened next and somehow) I actually couldn't think of enough things to say about this movie for the required minimum of ten line criteria by IMDb, so sorry about the random bracketed words in the middle.

We've all dealt with unrequited love before, but "New Moon," the second installment in the popular "Twilight" series, takes it to a whole new level. Bella Swan, the moody high school student who found herself in love with a vampire - the brooding Edward - in the first film, now finds herself attracted to a werewolf, her long-haired Native American childhood pal turned cropped-haired, muscle-bound super-hunk, Jacob. Now, that's a love triangle you don't come across every day of the week.

This disappointing, time-marking follow-up to the flawed but often imaginative "Twilight" is a tedious, slow-moving bore, consisting of little more than endless conversations about which of Bella's two "monstrous" beaus loves her the more and which is more likely to protect her from the danger posed by his rival and the assorted associates and kinsmen who come with him. In fact, so focused is the story on the romantic travails of the three main characters that the movie ultimately stalls out in a puddle of its own sappiness. And on a purely technical level, even the CGI werewolves are not as impressive as we'd expect them to be, given the massive amount of cash clearly lavished on the project.

Actually, the thing that strikes one the most about "New Moon" is just how much of a rehash it is of the previous film, with Bella's predicament simply being played over, only this time with a lover from a different species (especially as Edward voluntarily removes himself from much of the action this time around).

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson return as the human/vampire lovers, while Lautner gets to run around with his shirt off a good deal of the time (despite the damp, rainy climate). That may be enough to keep the movie's targeted audience of teenaged girls awake and glued to the screen for the duration, but the rest of us will have no trouble snoozing our way through to the next installment.

People who liked either the first movie or the New Moon book will probably have a great time at this movie. People who didn't like them still might have fun laughing at the moments of glorious teenaged awkwardness--Michael Welch returns as the hilariously down-on-his-luck Mike Newton.

As a sequel, New Moon is excellent. It maintains the same tone as the first movie, smooths out some of the rough edges and builds from there. On its own it's mostly quite enjoyable to watch. There were lots of intentional and unintentional humor and of course the movie takes only a bit of the edge off the book's more than slightly unbalanced story structure.

Things that impressed me? FIGHT SCENES. They actually let us see Felix toss Edward around like a rag doll. And they might have robbed us of the sight of spooky elder vampires petrifying in their old age, but they did let us see Edward's head literally crack like an eggshell as he gets slammed into the floor tiles.

I also like that they expanded Alice's role and showed Bella actually missing someone in addition to Edward. I really wish that both the books and movies had gotten more into the Bella-Alice friendship. Also, the idea that a person's spouse is the only relationship they need is a relatively new one. If even a romantically obsessed book series like Twilight can focus on the fact that Bella is reacting to the entire Cullen clan and not just Edward, then maybe we're moving toward a healthier idea of what love is.

Also, Michael Sheen is the champion of creepy. Sorry, Bill Nighy; he played Aro before you played Greyback! My final recommendation? Go see this movie with a big crowd for all the squealing and shouting at the screen. It's like a floor show but with body glitter.

** out of (****)

Chances are, your feelings toward the film "Twilight" will match your feelings for "New Moon". Mine sure did. This film basically did nothing for its predecessor, which is a shame since the trailer looked somewhat decent. I thought that maybe an above average Twilight flick would make its way, but I guess that's too much to ask these days. The characters are surprisingly more stale than before, although this movie is a little more interesting. For everything that is in this movie that was better than Twilight, there is also the opposite. However, the special effects improved slightly and fortunately we get more action than romance. Still, this movie is basically neither better nor worse than "Twilight". You can take that as a complement or a negative, and you know which side you're on.

"New Moon" revolves around Bella (Stewart) and Edward (Pattison). Edward leaves Bella in the forest and now Bella is all alone. However, she meets Jacob (Lautner) and gradually develops a crush on him. Although, Edward returns and Jacob has a secret: he's a werewolf.

I think it's kind of humiliating that a director gets a better script, yet makes a film that's on par with Twilight. I mean how could this have not been good? You have werewolves vs. vampires. That sounds cool already and imagine the type of execution that Scorsese can make *faints*. Folks, if you think this latest installment is impossible to have worse acting and dialogue, then you are dead wrong. Yes, it might seem improbable, but the performances and dialogue have gone from beyond awful to officially the worst I've seen. Moreover, I thought the first hour was way too boring and a chore to sit through.

Now, there are some redeeming qualities. The technical aspects have improved. Not by much, but a sufficient amount. Moreover, the last hour is actually watchable. The action here is also not too shabby. Also, I thought that the story was slightly more interesting.

"New Moon" is basically on par with "Twilight", but that isn't a complement. Both films boast decent technical aspects and interesting stories, but also boast terrible performances with an awful script. "New Moon" is neither a bad nor good film and compared with its predecessor, it matches its film quality. This weekend, I'll seek out "Eclipse" and see if that film can break the mediocrity streak. Hey, David Slade is directing. If the third installment is even just the slightest better than "New Moon", I'll be satisfied. Until then, this is my review of "New Moon".