The Mortician

If there ever was a time for Method Man to credit himself by his real name: Clifford Smith I feel this was the one to do it.

Now don't get me wrong I think Method Man doing his thing is great (one of the better rappers turned actors for me) but with this one he truly did commit to do something different. And that's a big reason why I like this movie.

He plays a lone-wolf mortician, a bit of an "social reject" if you will who unwillingly becomes dragged into a messy situation involving the local gang-members.

The poster makes it look to me like more of a horror movie (which it's definitely not) and the synopsis is not really accurate (although I will try to update it so hopefully that will change).

What it is is more of a drama and a character study of the mortician with moments of suspense and even though it has some flaws regarding the script and Method Man's everchanging beard the good most definitely outweighs the bad for me.

A mortician's life is changed when one day the dead body of a young woman is brought to him; one whose body is decorated with an elaborate tattoo of Sandro Botticelli's Birth of Venus. This all connects together with a young street boy who continually tries to get access to the morgue, the mortician's assistant who harasses the boy and a local thug who seeks him.

This downbeat film utilises flashbacks to tell its story. It's well acted and has a decent atmosphere. However, I can't say it felt like anything special. The plot line didn't feel especially original and overall I can't say the film made much of an impact. It's a decent movie though, just not a great one.

Bathing in urban squalour and decay, this Method Man starring feature may not be what you might expect. Meth (as fans of the Wu Tang Clan affectionately refer to him) plays an awkward, ambling outsider who as the title suggests, works at the city morgue. He shuffles two and from work with his head hanging low. A man of few words, his hours away from the corpses are spent practicing his taxidermy skills and cuddling a friendly prostitute.

Continually harassed by some of the most unconvincing hoodlums that have ever been committed to celluloid (there are literally millions of people out there who could fit the role of 'Thug #4', so why filmmakers feel the consistent need to draw incredibly fake tattoos on supporting actors is beyond me). These rough kids from the wrong side of the street make his life miserable (in a pretty non-threatening way, truth be told) and we can see that he's a man who may soon crack.

This is where the trouble begins, primarily and most significantly, Method Man is wholly unsuitable for this part. Method Man is wholly unsuitable for most parts in which he is required to do anything other than be Method Man. He is not a good actor and in this, his lack of ability is accentuated tenfold. The film was shot in 3D for reasons which are far beyond my comprehension, for it is a melodrama. The last time I checked, melodramas were not top of the list on 3D. Shall I await the extended reboot of Ulee's Gold 3D? On Golden Pond 3D? The Erotic Adventures of Harold & Maude 3D? Anyway, I digress. Meth is a wonderful personality; an entertainer and (occasionally) a great rapper. None of these skills, however, are required or suitable for the role of a bookish, bullied, meek individual. Every time the camera zooms in on him, the viewer gets the impression that he's thinking; 'this is my acting face'.

It's not just the acting that's at fault here, the sets are well utilized and do give a strong sense of deterioration within a working class environment, which is a theme which could have been explored in greater depth within the film. Meth's old time dress sense is a nice touch, but his outfits look so pristine that they are clearly taken from the set dresser's rail. He looks like a man who has been dressed for a role and this only makes him more awkward in his appearance, and not in the manner of which he desires. The shrugs and stooped gait are not enough for the character to become real to us. He also keeps walking around a lot and looking at things. This happens in most films, but the problem with this is that for the first 30 minutes, this is about all you get.

You get drawn into his facial expressions so much because there's so little else to focus on.

Then something happens (which I won't go into for now) and the appearance of Edward Furlong (looking so tired and haggard that my viewing companion thought it was Rob Schneider) and Wendell Peirce (The Wire, Treme) brings a short lived bout of excitement (but they are both gone again as soon as they appear, not to be heard from again at all really). Peirce's use of the word 'laddybuck' remains the film's highlight for me.

The main antagonist starts to turn the heat up on Meth as he drives around listening to the same Method Man song on his car stereo. He is listening to the same song in every scene that he has in the car and it becomes both somewhat irritating and unnecessary.

By the time something does happen, the filmmakers have clearly decided that we need to be informed of this (as most will have fallen asleep) and so they blast some of the worst 'suspense' music I've heard used in a long time. There are also extended sax solos at some of the depressing scenes which can only help to lighten the mood. I love sax solos, especially when they are used to highlight the severity of a situation or the revelation of a chilling back-story. The film gets bonus points for this.

You spend so much time for Meth to revert to gangsta mode and start busting heads. I will let you find out for yourself how, when and if this actually happens at all. The levels of melodrama in this range from the acceptable to the soap opera and so it's hard to be overly enthusiastic about this film. It would have made a good short, or an episode of a TV show, but as a feature length, it becomes a chore to get through. It's fine, but as we all speed towards our own tenure on the mortician's slab, we should probably aim for better than 'fine'.

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First, please forgive me for sounding rather bitter about this movie, however there are some disclosures I must first make about my relationship to the film and its subject mater. I have previously worked as a mortician, having multiple professional qualifications in the field of funeral service, restorative art, and embalming. In the course of my work as a funeral director, embalmer, and mortician, I can say that the "Mortician" character this movie was not a member of any of the aforementioned professions. This would be no different than titling a movie "The Banker" when, in fact, it is about an attorney. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to title the movie,"The Autopsy Technician", "The Morgue Attendant" or something else. The only thing that a mortician and the above mentioned professions have in common is the fact that we work with dead bodies...Very little else. I can also mention that a city morgue in any sizable metropolitan area would be a much larger operation with other skilled technicians and professions, including most importantly, a forensic pathologist to actually perform the autopsy. Everything involving the treatment of human remains, from the removal from the scene of death to the forensic processing is grossly inaccurate, and considering the tone of the movie, I find it quite a disappointment.

The acting is respectable, commendable at times. The over-all production quality is quite fine, and story is interesting, but I would expect a considerably higher level of research to have been done before the script was produced.

It is not too often to witness something credible, emotional and rational at the same time in American cinema. Sadly, Hollywood has been in a steep decline since who knows when. We have to go and grab European or Asian or Mexican or South American flicks if we really want to get some "meat" for the heart.

This time, in a setting long forgotten, we're confronted with a witty story in, of all places, the still recovering New Orleans. That, all by itself is a bonus. But when you add to it the magic of a master cinematographer, a superb script and a wonderful cast... you have OffHollywood. And, let me tell you: this guys know what they're doing!

The story is bleak. The character of the Mortician (awkwardly and silently played by Method Man -if you can believe his actual name) is definitely played methodically. His role is perplexing, uncomfortable and highly distressing. But that's his job. The rest of the characters are as strange, out of the norm, as the mortician himself.

But what really got my attention and made me jump directly into writing this was the uncanny weight and darkness that are pervasive throughout the film. Everything has a smack of doom, and it certainly delivers in this department.

Not only is the story gripping and deeply moving. The acting is on par with the craftsmanship of the whole film. Cinematography, taking advantage of the RED 3D is ultra hi-def and has some unforgettably lit scenes, especially in some of the flashbacks. And if this wasn't enough, the score and the songs used throughout the film only add to underline the roller coaster of emotions we're presented with.

The turns and zips and flips of the story are an integral part of keeping you hooked without blinking. The colour timing is awesome, conveying exactly every mood scenes needed to exploit their powerful emotional content.

I'm really proud of this film being American. It departs completely from stereotypes and boring scripts. It's a slow film. A film portraying a complex drama that unfolds in many directions. Maybe they went too far in explaining why everything happened, but it doesn't feel patronising or as if it was needed for the stupid -it will work, anyway.

All in all, it's a film that should be seen to be believed. Chapeau to Method Man (again, unbelievable name!) and to all the crew that made possible this small jewel of new OffHollywood Americana,