Star Quest: The Odyssey

First off, I must say, I have seen some bad movies in my day. I endured "The Butterfly Effect", "Rocky 5", "The Exorcist 3"... and many more. But "Star Quest: The Odyssey" takes the prize. Please... please do yourself a favor and rent this movie. If you are into bad movies... and I mean movies so bad they make you cry laughing then this is the movie for you. I can't begin to tell you how bad this movie is. You must experience it for yourself. I could try to explain the weak plot, or the bad acting, or the slow motion, cheese-filled flash back scenes, but it would do no good. Again, this is one you must experience for yourself. I could try to convey to you just how poorly rendered the special effects are, but you would never in a million years believe that such slop could somehow manage to obtain distribution. This is a true masterpiece of "bad", the holy grail of garbage, the Stanley Cup of feces. Anyone with a camcorder and a severe case of stupid could've constructed this flaming pile of dung. Actually, anyone with just a little too much time on his or her hands could've at least made something worth sitting through. I tried. I tried valiantly to make it through this thing but I failed. After the comedy wore off, I found myself seething with rage; angry that a troop with such an obvious lack of talent and ability had made it even this far in the movie industry. I watched exactly 44:23 of this abomination and turned it off. The tears of laughter had dried up 20 minutes ago; the next 24:23 was simply boring and bad. I realized that there are some tests of endurance that simply are too much for me. I failed in my quest. But alas! There were those glorious first 23 minutes! Truly I have never laughed so hard at a movie in all my life. No... this was not the intent of the director, nor was it the desired effect of those who saw fit to fund this squalid pile of filth. But for 23 minutes of my life, I pounded the floor in shear blissful conviviality... purely overwhelming jocularity as I watched what is, hands down, the worst movie in the history of forever. And so in closing, I implore you, if you want to laugh at the misfortunes of others, without feeling bad about yourself, please rent this movie.

Read the other reviews on the first page. Go ahead, I'll wait...

OK have you finished? Good. Now remove anything positive anyone said about this movie. There is absolutely no way a sane person could enjoy this movie. I love watching bad movies but this movie is the worst of them all, taking 90 minutes of your life and giving nothing back. As another reviewer said: It is like a porn movie without the porn. It is a series of bedroom scene setups without the payoff.

This movie is absolutely horrible and should be erased from human consciousness forever. Do NOT watch it and if you do, then for the love of all that is sacred at least do NOT pay money for that dubious privilege.

Even the worst Star Trek movie was more enjoyable than this mess.

Okay, the plot is that in a distant future, humanity has divided between normal humans and a race of cyborgs. They fight a war, but at the moment of peace, they decide to send a starship with a huge crew of five (Yup, probably as many ill-fitting uniforms they could afford to have made) escort two cyborg emissaries back to earth.

Let's talk about the cyborgs. They are a cross between Klingons and Borg, with all the "interesting" surgically removed.

I have no doubt the only reason that Maverick Films (when you see their logo in the front of a film, you know you've been had) decided to cash in on the new Star Trek film.

Cheesy special effects, bad acting, recycled starship shots... a cliffhanger ending on the optimism that anyone would want to see a sequel... All just kind of sad.

Having grown up on a healthy diet of Sci-fi, loving all types, from the brilliant, to the insane to the ridiculous, I feel, for the first time strangely drawn to leave a comment on this movie.

Once I moved pass the obvious Klingon type people, that where also cyborgs, with bits of old circuit boards strapped to their chests, grunting and punching cardboard walls, once I arrived at the red painted grain silo that was a super computer, once I moved from the absolutely rubbish graphics, once I moved pass the bridge of the ship which is, well the closet I can relate to is a child's bedroom, once I had moved pass all these things, and finally reached the end of the film (Use the term lightly) which really isn't an ending at all, I felt proud, proud and strong.

I now know, that should I be kidnapped, tortured, stripped naked and become the bitch of some serial killer, in prison for life, I know, that this film will help me endure all these things, because if you can watch, this pile of garbage to the end, trust me, you will be a stronger person for it.

If I was an actor, down on his luck, I would probably take what ever job was offered, but this!!!! Shame on you guys, its terrible, and you know its terrible.

By the way, just my advice, on your resumes, don't for Gods sake mention this, you will never work again.

This movie is little more than cheesy student film. The acting, the writing and the directing are very amateurish. Many people have complained about the special effects and CGI. I was expecting that for a low budget movie such as this, so it didn't bother me. I watch low budget movies to see them rise above their limits but "Star Quest" failed miserably at that. It is filled with tired clichés and blatant ripoffs. Someone should check the directors backpack for a copy of "Movie Directing for Dummies". Of the many problems I think the cheesiest were the multiple flashbacks that were silent except for the melodramatic slow piano music.

If you're looking for a campy low budget sci fi film that fires your imagination than look elsewhere. If you are a student filmmaker who needs a "what not to do" example, then this is your movie.