Birdemic: Shock and Terror

When a movie starts with music that grinds your ears, standard movie- maker font, 10 minutes of random shots from the valleys of Hollywood and an unknown B-movie director that claims he's the "master of romantic thrillers", you know you're in for one hell of a ride.

I don't really know if this movie is a joke or not, if they actually went in full force with the intention of actually making a great film with their 10.000 dollar budget, clearly they did not. When the actual film starts, the camera is so horrid I thought the cameraman was drunk, or if I was unwillingly intoxicated. Anyways, I had to check my earphones after a couple of minutes, because the sound suddenly stopped and popped up at random, looks like the sound-mixer of this movie probably is deaf or some sort of modern day Hellen Keller.

Let's say something about the acting.. if there is any. I felt my heart wrenching when the protagonist started reading his lines, his act is already so wooden after two minutes of screen-time he'd fit right in the Ents from the "Lord of the Rings"-trilogy. When an actor can't even walk straight without showing signs of having something rectangular shoved up his rectum, there's something wrong.

After about 45 minutes of clapping (yes, see it for yourself), a love story that makes the Twilight-saga seem like "The Notebook" and "Titanic" combined, dialouges that are from another planet and all-in- all all I'm thinking: Is this movie the "Shock and Terror" the sub-title proclamates? 'Cause I haven't seen a f*cking bird yet!!

When the birds arrive.. No, I don't even care to write about it.. I feel ashamed of myself. I feel like laying down in the shower with my clothes on and cry while the cold water is running on full.

This movie basically makes Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" seem like the new "Schindler's List". Enough said.

This is one of my favorite movies of all time. I do not mean that it is a good movie, as it is one of the worst movies ever made. However, the magnitude of this movie's failure makes it a truly original experience. Birdemic Shock and Terror puts your mind in a place between awe and crying from laughter. No other movie, even ones with comparable ratings , can compare to this movie. This movie pulls off awful in such a way that blows your mind. After you watch this movie, you will be left speechless for almost a 1/2 hour just trying to comprehend what you just watched. It is truly a one-of-a-kind experience that I feel everyone should have.

I don't know where to begin this review. It is a film that completely fails at every step of the movie making process. From directing, to acting, to writing, to camera operation, to scene structure, to pacing, to visual effects, to sound editing... The list goes on. I watched birdemic thinking it was a 'deliberately bad so it's funny' kinda movie. It's not. You can see the films director James Nguyan takes himself completely seriously with the global warming message jammed down our throats. I spent the majority of the hour and thirty minute run time laughing in disbelief that this movie exists. It is a film you have to watch, if only to know how to gauge a bad movie in the future. I was just wondering what fundamental error they were going to make next. Overall birdemic is a fascinating piece of work simply because it is truly awful cinema. So terrible that it's unintentionally hilarious. I would absolutely classify it as a must watch.

There are no words that come to mind after seeing this film. Travesty, horrific, absurd, ridiculous, and mind-numbingly stupid all come to mind but none of 'em quite describe just how awful this "film" really is. To see where everyone went wrong, let's break it down!

1. It takes 45 minutes until the actual plot begins to develop. By this time, the majority of viewers have fallen asleep or have taken their own lives.

2. The actor who plays Rod, Alan Bagh. He makes me miss Nicholas Cage. NO NOT THE BEES!!! AHHHH!!!

3. The birds. What do they do exactly? Nothing. The birds come down and fly directly in front of the victims face. Then they die for reasons only criminally insane director James Nguyen knows. God help us.

4. Read my parental advisory

5. "Hey I thought I told you to stand back. These birds are contaminated"

6. What is wrong with Rod's friend? And why can't he get a good looking girlfriend?

7. The dialogue. It's like watching a poorly translated foreign film. "I like you and because you are pretty to me" "I thank you this words they make me happy" "Yaaaaaayyy..."

8. This quote: "Why would birds do something like that? Why would they just attack" "......I don't know"

-------The good?

1. Thank god for Whitney Moore in lingerie. The only believable thing about this movie was that she got a job at Victoria's Secret.

And that's my review. Go see it. I guarantee you will never see a worse film.

I just got done watching Birdemic for the first time, I knew it was made on 10,000 dollars and it is regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. This same day I also watched The Happening and The Crawling Eye (MST3K version) so maybe I was feeling masochistic. This movie was all around bad in every aspect. It looks like it was shot on a fairly cheap digital video camera and it's obvious that the sound was recorded from the microphone built into the camera instead of a boom mic. I know that because the sound is very awful, the actors have to be pretty close to the camera to be heard right, and there's way too much loud background noise which in post production they played a lot of public domain elevator music to drown out the background noise. The worst audio issue was when they film on the beach because the sounds of the beach are 5 times louder than the actors voices.

The movie itself is very slow paced, the first half of the movie is just the main guy meeting his dream girl and building their relationship. The problem is that nobody in this movie can act and the writing was pitiful so what we get are very bland characters, not even vanilla more like tofu bland. We get no reason to care about these people in any way and to make them less likable the main guy has to talk about solar panels, hybrid cars, global warming, and even the war in Iraq as much as he can. The script is almost a love letter to Al Gore. This feels like an eternity where it goes from his boring job that he is way too enthusiastic about, his obsession with a greener world, and his dates.

The second half of the movie is when the birds finally go on a rampage. Lots of 2D computer generated birds that fly around in circles and attack their prey by hovering in place while moving their wings up and down and making the same noise looped over and over the whole movie. Somehow these berserk eagles can set house on fire as well as kill people in one swoop. The couple ends up meeting another couple who lets them ride in their van, this van has everything from handguns and two AK-47 assault riffles with unlimited ammo (I'm guessing the van has Game Genie,) as well as medical supplies, and anything the plot requires. Most of the movie has these people gunning down birds and searching for survivors. The survivors they meet all have long boring monologues about how it isn't the eagles we should be afraid of, it's global warming and mankind's use of fossil fuels that is responsible for this disaster.

As far as the action goes, it's about as lame as the trailer makes it look. When someone dies it's just a bird hovering in front of the person and they fall down with blood make up on them. There's also some really pointless scenes there just to raise the body count like a man who pulls a gun on them (even though they still have an assault riffle that they seem to forget about for the rest of the movie)who wants their gas, which they say cost them 100 dollars a gallon. There's a whole lot of nothing interesting going on. At least companies like Troma can take a 10 cent movie and throw in lots of nudity, over the top gore, and comedy. The people behind Birdemic have the worst CGI effects since the old Star Trek movies and long speeches about the environment. If you watch it, bring some friends and laugh at it because it works in that regard. Other than that it's Duck Hunt: The Movie.