Caligula: My loyal generals. You have all served me well. Thanks to your ceaseless warring and general nastiness, I Caligula now rule an empire of unimaginable scale.
General #1: Yes!
[the generals high five each other]
Caligula: However... there is one valiant foe that we have yet to conquer.
General #2: Do you speak of the mighty tribes in the untamed lands of the East, My Liege?
Caligula: No.
General #1: Mean you then, the savage Celts of the frozen wastes of the North?
Caligula: Nah!
General #2: Well, then... who would you have us fight, Sire?
Caligula: [Dramatically] Poseidon.
[the generals both laugh]
General #1: Funny!
[They stop laughing after noticing that Caligula's expression hasn't changed]
General #2: You're serious?
Caligula: Yes.
General #2: OK. But, Poseidon... is God of the Sea. He's likely to be quite... big.
Caligula: [Aggressively] Bigger than *me*?
General #1: Oh, no no no. No, big is the wrong word. What we meant was more, erm...
General #2: Goddish?
Caligula: But that's the whole point. I mean, any old Emperor can defeat the Carthaginians, but it takes a special kind of Emperor to take on a God! Just think of the history books. "Ooh, do you remember that Caligula?" "Oh yes, wasn't he the one that took on that God?"
[Titters insanely]
Caligula: No one's going to forget that in a hurry!
