Basement

Last time I saw Danny Dyer was in The Business, which was an entertaining movie, so when I saw he was in a new film called Basement, I thought "Why not?" Had I know what was in front of me, I would say "Why bother?!"

Anyway, a complete waste of time is putting it mildly. Scooping my eyeballs out with sharpened ice cream scoops and then filling the gaping sockets with rock salt would have been preferable to watching this utter bilge. Dire script - really, REALLY dire, lamentable acting - I'd love to have been there at the auditions - how did the actors keep their faces straight? It was utterly terrible from the word go. Well, not strictly true as it's pretty difficult to screw up a set of film titles. Bizarrely I submitted myself to the ultimate torture and stayed to watch 'til the end, in the faint and getting fainter (like my will to live) by the minute hope that it would get better, or maybe had a killer payoff - which is doesn't.

I started watching this film sitting upright on the couch, and as the penance wore on, I slumped down to a position that left me looking and feeling like I'd spent 5 hours being sat on by overweight feminists after turning up at a women's lib demonstration with a sigh that read "Iron My Shirts!".

Seriously though, what was Danny Dyer thinking? Was he behind on the rent when he signed up for this trash? Jimmy Mistry should have known better too. I mean, do they actually read the scripts before signing on the dotted line?

Actually, scratch that because if you're unfortunate enough to sit through this garbage, then you very quickly come to the conclusion that they were reading the script for the first time on the toilet, on day one of filming!

A friend of mine's wife says that I always manage to find something positive to say about most movies, even the bad ones, but this is a definite first for me in that I can find nothing positive whatsoever to say about it. It's really, truly awful. Bad (terrible!) acting, laughable script, and very poor direction. No redeeming qualities whatsoever.

What makes it even worse, is that they've had the cheek to release it on the vastly over-priced Blu-Ray as well!!!!

Arrrgh!

I am a big fan of horror films, and an even bigger one of English horror but this movie puts the British film industry to shame. How any money at all could be invested in such a load of nonsensical rubbish is beyond me. The plot, such as it is, makes absolutely no sense, the acting is atrocious and even though the film only lasts 74 minutes, it seems like four times that due to the boredom. All that really happens is a bunch of totally uninteresting characters walk up and down the same dingy corridors over and over again talking crap and then it ends, leaving you wondering why you wasted your time watching this bilge rather than doing almost anything else you could possibly think of. I have just taken great pleasure in cutting up the DVD and disposing of it just in case someone makes the mistake of ever putting in their DVD player. I would rather gnaw my own legs off than watch this again. Do not watch if you know what's good for you!

Horrific. I usually enjoy films that are so bad they are funny - or entertaining on some level, but this was truly awful to the point that I felt angry with myself for watching it to the end. I won't even go into an overview of the plot, there isn't one.It makes no sense from start to finish with the worst script ever to be delivered. Harry Enfield and his mockney characters have a lot to answer for - although I'm certain he would have performed 100 times better than these 'actors'. If you are turned on by spending just over an hour watching boring people in a boring location saying pointless and idiotic things to each other for no reason whatsoever then I suggest that you save yourself a fiver and watch Big Brother. This is, without a doubt the worst film I have ever seen. And what the hell is DCI Burnside out of the bill Talking about at the start? Do yourself a favour and spend the fiver on a slightly better takeaway than you had planned.

Basement is one of those horror movies where it uses very little blood and gore and uses the atmosphere and the situation to scare you, unfortunately for this movie, it fails to do it's job. Danny Dyer and Jimi Mistry star in Basement, which is about a group of anti-war protesters driving home after a demo. They decide to use a route through the woods to which Danny Dyer's character, Gary, conveniently needs to go to the toilet and so the group stops. While he goes to do his business, they get out of the car and stretch their legs and walk around the woods only to find an underground chamber. Now the group are trapped in this underground basement with the exit sealed and no way out, what's more is that there's something down there trying to kill them. As much as I really want to say something good about Basement, I just can't do it. The movie started okay and the pacing was good, we're introduced to the main characters of the movie and we learn a little about them (which is hardly anything) and then they find the underground hatch and that's where everything goes wrong. When they locked the characters in the hatch, they also forgot to lock in the story, the plot, the script and everything else. The main problem with Basement is that the plot was very stretched, adding pointless scenes to the movie and actually making the runtime of 95 minutes a problem as it was too long. There were quite a few scenes that were unnecessary, it didn't set the creepy atmosphere that the movie was supposed to do either and you could have easily cut half an hour out of the movie and not miss anything. The acting is quite bad and their performances weren't believable at all except for Danny Dyer, who's the only believable actor in the cast as he plays himself, which is usual in most movies Danny Dyer stars in and his acting is still dire. The rest of the cast had the same problem, there were no performances that really stood out in your mind. The movie is just bad on so many levels.

The problem with Basement is almost everything. The story was quite confusing, almost non-existent and quite stupid at times and the ending is possibly the most ridiculous thing about the movie. Also, the movie became boring and confusing as the movie went on. The characters had nothing to them, they were uninteresting, boring and they had no personality and definitely could have been written much better. This is supposed to be a horror movie and yet there's absolutely nothing remotely scary or creepy about it. The only thing I do like about Basement is that it doesn't use a lot of blood and gore to scare you but it tries to use that claustrophobic feeling but it's a shame that it didn't work. This movie had loads of potential and it could have been next to the likes of The Descent if the movie was done well but I think Basement would have been a little bit better if it was a short film.

Basement is the worst UK horror movie I've seen this year, without a doubt. There was literally no plot, no direction, no story, no character development, and no appeal…almost absolutely nothing. There's not even one memorable scene or performance, the whole movie was just bad. Danny Dyer proved that he could be a good actor as he did a very good performance in Malice in Wonderland but he was quite bad in Basement and it's frustrating to see, let's hope he can choose a better movie in the future. Overall, Basement is quite a poor attempt to try and scare you and it's also a poor attempt at making a movie. I'm actually stuck, as I don't know who would like this movie, I can't really see anybody liking this as most people would probably be disappointed. If you want a good suggestion, skip this and watch The Hole, which is basically similar to Basement.

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This film, it has to be said, is not one of the best movies I've ever seen. Having said that, there are a hell of a lot out there that are worse in every respect. Danny Dyer's acting skills are on par with his usual ability and are pretty well matched by the acting prowess of the rest of the cast. All suffer with the usual, overused problem of being characters who don't deserve us caring about them. There is one character who is so thoroughly obnoxious that I at least thought his death came way too late. The setting is quite effective in creating a sense of claustrophobia, being one narrow tunnel after another. The mystery of the killings and who is stalking the group is somewhat weak to say the least, as is the manner in which they arrive in the titular Basement. As long as you don't go into watching this film expecting to see something amazing, you wont be disappointed. It will leave you with questions that are not answered but to be honest you wont lose any sleep over it.