Don't Go in the Woods

When i first heard of a possible remake of the 1982 low-budget shocker , i was ready. I remember seeing it at the drive in,way back when.I got a call from a friend to come over to watch the 2010 film of the same name. Was i going to like it ?-well,i was all for it.After 12-15 min. into the movie,i thought" lots of focus on this "band". I waited for a scene where someone ,or something is watching them,ready for one of them to leave the group,go off to pee,or make the beast with 2 backs,and get killed.Well,instead,they broke into ....more lame songs.It was at this point,i realized i was watching a musical.Now,i do watch them sometimes,and i did make it thru "Little shop of horror"(both versions),but this movie was not what i expected.Long scenes of singing,at the strangest times,a story that makes no sense,very little blood,sub-par effects,and basic camera work made this a LONG watch.i did make it till the end,but felt like a ass,for sticking around.All in all,i have seen much better musicals,and WAY better horror films.To me,this movie fails on BOTH levels.

A slasher musical?

I'll give props to Vincent D'Onofrio the actor who debts as a director on this film. On the bonus features he mentions how while he was waiting for a geen light on another film, he had a film crew and a backyard and some of his nephew's friends to help him put it together in less than a mouth. For that the movie is cool.

But I'm not a fan of the musical in general and it did not help that the music being played sucks in my book. The movie is about a band of hipsters from Brooklyn going into the woods (even though a sign clearly states don't do it)to write songs for the next album, only to be hunted down by the dude I would not be surprised put up the sign in the first place.

The movie starts off funny as the Hipsters literally fall into all the horror clichés (starting with going into the woods), but then I had to sit in on a second act filled with music that was just to whining for me. One song after another and I wanted to shoot myself. But then...then, the slasher comes out. Possibly just as sick of the music as I am, he puts the kibosh on their little camp out.

It's hard for me to say weather the movie is good or not. I enjoyed it. I don't know if D'Onofrio purposely laid out the movie to be so annoying that you cheer the slasher when he starts chopping up these hipsters. I would love to think so.

Realistically, the making off the movie is more impressive than the movie itself.

Don't Go in the Woods (2010)

BOMB (out of 4)

Vincent D'Onofrio makes his feature directing debut with this horror film, which is one of the most original in recent years but it's also one of the worst. A band goes into the woods to try and come up with some new songs and before long their girlfriends show up as well. Soon afterwards (in their time, not the viewers) a psycho shows up with a sledge hammer and begins to kill them. This is not a remake of the same titled 1981 slasher but it's too bad it isn't because this film is simply awful. I love watching horror movies and I love watching bad movies but every once in a while I come across a film that just makes me downright angry and this is one of them. The entire movie is simply a waste of time and I'd really love to hear from D'Onofrio on what he was trying to do. Minus the end credits this thing runs 82-minutes and the deaths scenes really don't start until the 65-minute mark. So, what's going on at the start of the film? Band practice. For well over a hour we do nothing but listen to this band sing one song after another. Yes, they're bad songs. Yes, they're annoying songs. Yes they keep coming again and again and again. Is this original? It sure is but who wants something like this? Did the director really think horror fans were going to sit through this music and be entertained? Did he really think having all the violence take place in a ten-minute period would make up for it? This is just a flat out confusing movie because while it's technically well made and most of the performances are good, there's just no point in watching it. The twist at the end doesn't work and isn't nearly as clever as everyone thought it was. I'm guessing that someone came up with this ending and then tried to build a film around it but the result is one of the worst movies in recent years. Technically speaking this movie is better than a lot of the genre films out there now but that doesn't add any entertainment. DON'T GO IN THE WOODS needs to be shot and then taken to the woods and left.

Not that the concept of a teenage slasher musical is stupid or anything! The acting was awful. The writing was awful. The directing wasn't awful only because there didn't appear to be any. The photography was acceptable in the sense that most of the movie was in focus. So far, this pretty much describes any teenage slasher movie. The real awfulness that sets this one apart is the music. It is indescribable. The songs turn up, for no apparent reason, about every five minutes and they are atrocious. They have lyrics like "I breathe every breath for me!" I'm glad the kid understands the physiology of breathing, but does he have to sing about it? It's hard to comment on the score because the teenagers are absolutely unable to play any musical instrument (except for the blind kid whose electric bass works just fine in the forest, as if by magic)and are even less able to carry a tune. I would think that a random sample of kids off the street would contain at least one who could carry a tune. Not this sample! The casting director had to go out of his way to find kids who couldn't sing a note. Why did I watch? The same reason people are fascinated by train wrecks, I guess. I couldn't look away. It really, really was that awful!

I thought this movie was pretty bad, just watched it and came here to see if maybe I was missing something. Maybe I'm just not artsy enough to "get it" I dunno, if that's art, I'll skip it I think. I like horror and I like music and I've liked that combination in other movies but this was just weird. Too much music, which is pretty generic stuff, and not enough movie. What gore it has is done well so the FX team gets a passing grade but for a horror movie there just isn't much there.

When it was over it had me wondering if these kids were a real band and maybe the movie was just a vehicle to get their music some exposure. Usually music accents a movie but in this case it seemed like the movie was just filler for the music.