2010: Moby Dick

At this point in time, Asylum movies are among the worst in all of creation. You don't get to be this bad without effort.

Anyone watching this movie in the hopes that it will be anything more than a cheap sucker-punch at the classic novel Moby Dick will be disappointed in the worst way. If you were expecting a remotely plausible story with reasonably capable actors and even some worthwhile special effects, then you should have never watched a movie made by Asylum. You are very behind on the times if you don't know that Asylum doesn't do that sort of thing.

It is soul-crushingly bad. It's like watching despair. So much so that I'm beginning to suspect that they are doing it on purpose. Nothing else could possibly explain how they can relentlessly churn out terrible movie after terrible movie, with absolutely no shame. I'm truly starting to believe that Asylum is in fact dedicated to the less-than-noble cause of making their mark as the worst movie making company in history. All of the things that a good movie needs will never be found in an Asylum motion picture. They need a trophy for epic failure in movie making.

But it's not all bad. Asylum is definitely good at one thing: Making movies so bad that they mysteriously 180-themselves into something good. This movie didn't really succeed at that, but it did have some very entertaining moments. The "special effects" are notably radical; certain scenes with the whale literally caused me to slip out of my chair laughing, and the look on the doctor's face nearly caused me to have a stroke (watch it and you'll see what I mean). For that reason alone I'm giving the movie a 2 instead of a 1.

I am just glad that Herman Melville is not alive to see what they have done to his immortal tale of Ahab and his White Whale. I thought the film went over the top when they were using names like Ahab and Moby Dick, but when they added the character names of Starbuck, Queg Qheg, what really got me was the name of the submarine, U.S. S. Pequod, now that is just a little much. I am just glad that Herman Melville has been dead for over 100 years or he may come back from the grave and let us know what he thinks. At least they didn't have a character named Ishmael.

Still, as bad as that is, I find the film compelling, maybe that's because I have such a craving for a stupid horror film. It's worth a watch if you don't expect too much from the film.

I am sorry I wasted my money on buying such a poor movie, this has got to be one of the most ridiculous and poorly made movies on record. Very poor acting, nothing life like at all, I am sure this movie was made in some child's bathtub using his play whale and toy submarine. I wouldn't give this a one out of ten, how can anyone take credit for this kind of rubbish, it is truly an insult to the first Moby Dick movie. The whale Moby Dick looked like a big rubber toy and the waves created by computer graphics were obscene. I am sure they could have done better at a sea side "Punch and Judy" show.

They should take the camera's back to where you got them until they know how to use them, was this some kind of "Your on Candid Camera" stunt?

Don't waste your money or time watching this, I'd rather go down to the lake and feed the ducks!!

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I am so shocked half-way through it- that I had to stop- and go back and look over reviews- to make sure- super sure- that maybe what I am seeing is a comedy. No- it's just that bad. The cgi is so tragically bad- that in one scene- you see a closeup of a whale's eye and see the wiremesh show up because of low polycount. Wow.

I think this is a treasure of a movie for film students- It must be mindblowing to them how it is possible that these fools got funded to make this crap- and then it actually got distributed- amazing. If I had made this movie- I would not have distributed it- out of sheer shame. I think the actors probably looked at this movie afterwards in its entirety and walked out before it ended.

This take on the classic literary masterpiece Moby-Dick does not deserve to be even mentioned in the same sentence. Herman Melville is turning in his grave right now. Just about the only thing that's related to the book are the names of the characters. The story is set in a present day submarine, features some of the worst acting imaginable, grade school quality production, and just about the worst script.

And the worst part about it is that it takes itself seriously. I am sure it will quickly make it's way to IMDb's bottom 100. I am just happy I didn't waste any money on this pile of crap.