2010: Moby Dick

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I am so shocked half-way through it- that I had to stop- and go back and look over reviews- to make sure- super sure- that maybe what I am seeing is a comedy. No- it's just that bad. The cgi is so tragically bad- that in one scene- you see a closeup of a whale's eye and see the wiremesh show up because of low polycount. Wow.

I think this is a treasure of a movie for film students- It must be mindblowing to them how it is possible that these fools got funded to make this crap- and then it actually got distributed- amazing. If I had made this movie- I would not have distributed it- out of sheer shame. I think the actors probably looked at this movie afterwards in its entirety and walked out before it ended.

This take on the classic literary masterpiece Moby-Dick does not deserve to be even mentioned in the same sentence. Herman Melville is turning in his grave right now. Just about the only thing that's related to the book are the names of the characters. The story is set in a present day submarine, features some of the worst acting imaginable, grade school quality production, and just about the worst script.

And the worst part about it is that it takes itself seriously. I am sure it will quickly make it's way to IMDb's bottom 100. I am just happy I didn't waste any money on this pile of crap.

I am just glad that Herman Melville is not alive to see what they have done to his immortal tale of Ahab and his White Whale. I thought the film went over the top when they were using names like Ahab and Moby Dick, but when they added the character names of Starbuck, Queg Qheg, what really got me was the name of the submarine, U.S. S. Pequod, now that is just a little much. I am just glad that Herman Melville has been dead for over 100 years or he may come back from the grave and let us know what he thinks. At least they didn't have a character named Ishmael.

Still, as bad as that is, I find the film compelling, maybe that's because I have such a craving for a stupid horror film. It's worth a watch if you don't expect too much from the film.

Lets make make something clear, this is low budget. Whats worse is that any technical aspect that could possibly be wrong, IS wrong. A low budget is no excuse for not doing some basic research on the internet before you being production, its free after all.

We have navy officers wearing army field uniforms, we have have a one legged submarine captain and and helicopter attacking a submerged nuclear submarine with a machine gun, and doing enough damage to make the 400feet sub shake like it was being depth charged!

All the special effects and animations looks like they transfered in from the eighties and and most of the sets are awful as well. The ultramodern submarine looks like a run down Russian factory on the inside, and the instrumentation seems borrowed from a lesser Sci-Fi production.

So why did I still give it a 4? Well I managed to sit through the movie. I'll admit that I was desperately bored, but still. The acting is not as horrible as you might expect, but still far from anything memorable. And the basic story is not hopeless either, with a large studio this might have become an OK film on par with godzilla or king kong. However any similarities with the original book are nowhere to be seen, besides the big whale and the obsessed captain that is.

The 4 I gave it is being generous, but I have seen movies that are worse, and still scored higher on IMDb.

Well, you already know what kind of movie this was going to be. A bad one, and it turned out to be just that. It is the kind of movie that is similar to a car crash, you know you shouldn't look, but you can't help it.

Lets start with the story, it was sort of a re-take on the classic tale, though oddly twisted and warped in a sense. And it was actually not really necessary for the world to have another Moby Dick movie, at least not of this caliber.

The special effects in the movie were, well, special! They were hilarious, and I was wondering how come in this day when we write 2010, that these type of fake effects and cheesy CGI's still take place. If you can't make it look believable, don't make it at all. Half-hearted attempts do not please the viewers.

There were two familiar faces in this movie, those being Barry Bostwick (playing captain Ahab) and Renée O'Connor (playing Dr. Michelle Herman). Now why they agreed to do this movie is beyond me, but hey, who am I to question Hollywood celebrities? Usually Bostwick and O'Connor appear in sort-of-alright movies and TV series, but this? ... The cast in the movie was actually decent enough, despite the lack of any major blockbuster names. And most people also put on adequate performances, though there was a lot of times where you could see that the people didn't fully have their hearts in the movie.

As for the dialogue, well it was adequate, though at times kind of strained to witness.

This take on the Moby Dick story is one that should be bagged and tagged and not really talked about again. It was not a good attempt at it, in my honest opinion. And truthfully, then I didn't even make it halfway through the movie. I couldn't stand the effects (or rather lack thereof) and the weak storyline. I gave up. But hats off to those actually managing to sit through the movie in its entire length.