The 7 Adventures of Sinbad

I have seen good movies, bad movies, bad movies that become cult movies and then sadly a few like this where if I had the sense of a dead cat I would have stopped watching.

The only good thing was that the design of one of the monsters (bird type things) was quite good - everything else was BAD BAD BAD ...

No plot - well at least nothing that made sense. Characters - were as wooden and predictable as it would be possible to imagine. Special effects - on the whole plain bad. Acting - there were real tears from one of the actors - I think it was because they realised that once this turkey was released they would never work again.

I can't go on even remembering this movie (which I only finished watching ten minutes ago) as it's causing irreparable brain damage.

WATCH ANYTHING ELSE!!!

First of all, I'd like to say that I enjoy the particular genre of films that the Sinbad movies generally fall into the category of. This film, however is not one of them. If you go into this expecting to see your classic Sinbad action then I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.

It's not necessarily a bad decision to attempt to convert the themes of Sinbad onto a present day setting, but it wasn't pulled off well here and I, for one, would have preferred to have seen a new rendition set in the traditional era, or at least sometime in the not-too-recent past. There are no seven adventures to be seen here anyway, that's for sure.

The main character is a descendant of Sinbad apparently - his name is John Sinbad or some such rubbish. Apart from that, this bears no real relation to any of it's name-sakes except for one scene involving a tribe of alluring female demons who attempt to enslave Sinbad and his crew, via hypnosis, which was taken from an earlier and better Sinbad movie. This made me wonder if this is some kind of remake but I soon realised that it is not. There were a few computer generated monsters to 'behold' - or try to at least - among them, a computer generated cyclops and giant octopus, both of which failed to evoke any of the the glory and wonder of the more organic effects of older films of the kind. Ray Harryhausen, for example, is still the king after all this time.

Overall, pathetic storyline, boring progression of plot, Underwhelming acting and uninspiring character performances, cheesy one-liners which don't work, sad visual effects and void of any real tension or ability to provoke any kind of emotional response at all. From me, at least.

Okay, let's just say I made a movie, and I called it...George Washington: The Original United States President. But then the main character was named Bob Washington, and he's the great, great, great grand nephew of George Washington's butler. Just some guy who works at The Home Depot and gets stranded on an island during a cheap, off-season Indian Ocean cruise.

Adrian Sinbad is not the original prince of anything. He's just some 20th or 21st century nobody who probably doesn't have a drop of Persian blood in his veins. He sails and swims around in the same regions of the oceans where Sinbad may or may not have once sailed centuries earlier, and that is the only believable connection.

The script is fairly unimaginative, the acting uninspired, the creature effects passable, if barely, the plot will have you wondering if you could maybe make a few million dollars releasing footage of your last weekend barbecue on DVD, or maybe even VHS. Thought it may have been filmed in exotic Belize, you won't see enough real estate to distinguish it from the California coast.

Typical Asylum garbage. Will provide enough background noise to help you sleep away a lazy Sunday afternoon, if you're the type that needs that. I only rated it 2 stars because I've actually seen worse, though not by much.

I only watched this because it was on Showtime. Oh, OK, it was on Showtime Extreme. And extreme it was! Extremely BAD. I love the old Sinbads. I can take "hokey". I can handle stop-action animation. I can even take weak special effects. I could not handle this hot mess. No reason to break it down, every single part of this movie is awful. Here's a little though: Special effects- cheesy, awful. I think they they just gave up at some point and said, "whatever". Acting -what acting? The actors understandably looked bored most of the time. Writing- they winged it. Not sure anybody cared if there was a storyline. But hey, there's boobs! Watch a rerun, the news, or the paint dry. Anything but this.

To be honest I wasn't expecting much when I saw The 7 Adventures of Sinbad, but this was worse than expected. Granted it is not the worst SyFy has done, there is one decent special effect and that is the giant bird and Sarah Dessage breathes some life into her role. The rest though is atrocious. The rest of the graphics are best forgotten, a vast majority of them are crude particularly the cyclops and the cheap settings, costumes and photography don't fare much better. The story is also disjointed and predictable, the dialogue laughable and unintentionally funny, the pace sluggish, the soundtrack out of place and intrusive, the direction non-existent and the acting particularly the lead appalling. Overall, a big mess. 1/10 Bethany Cox