The 7 Adventures of Sinbad

I only watched this because it was on Showtime. Oh, OK, it was on Showtime Extreme. And extreme it was! Extremely BAD. I love the old Sinbads. I can take "hokey". I can handle stop-action animation. I can even take weak special effects. I could not handle this hot mess. No reason to break it down, every single part of this movie is awful. Here's a little though: Special effects- cheesy, awful. I think they they just gave up at some point and said, "whatever". Acting -what acting? The actors understandably looked bored most of the time. Writing- they winged it. Not sure anybody cared if there was a storyline. But hey, there's boobs! Watch a rerun, the news, or the paint dry. Anything but this.

Okay, let's just say I made a movie, and I called it...George Washington: The Original United States President. But then the main character was named Bob Washington, and he's the great, great, great grand nephew of George Washington's butler. Just some guy who works at The Home Depot and gets stranded on an island during a cheap, off-season Indian Ocean cruise.

Adrian Sinbad is not the original prince of anything. He's just some 20th or 21st century nobody who probably doesn't have a drop of Persian blood in his veins. He sails and swims around in the same regions of the oceans where Sinbad may or may not have once sailed centuries earlier, and that is the only believable connection.

The script is fairly unimaginative, the acting uninspired, the creature effects passable, if barely, the plot will have you wondering if you could maybe make a few million dollars releasing footage of your last weekend barbecue on DVD, or maybe even VHS. Thought it may have been filmed in exotic Belize, you won't see enough real estate to distinguish it from the California coast.

Typical Asylum garbage. Will provide enough background noise to help you sleep away a lazy Sunday afternoon, if you're the type that needs that. I only rated it 2 stars because I've actually seen worse, though not by much.

I really think the voting system ought to allow negative scores, just to counter some of the positives given by people clearly connected with the film - either on the production side or acting side.

I guess I'm referring to Mr. "joemorph from United States" who wrote a ridiculously long and praising review that was clearly aimed at him getting some of his investment back.

Hard luck Mr. joemorph from USA. This film is appalling.

Even worse than the film was the acting of the lead actor. Apart from the ridiculous "crab" scene where he had a little tantrum, his face rarely broke into a smile, a frown, or gave any other indication of what he was feeling other than a look that said "I don't believe I'm in such a pathetic film".

Seriously, people: If you don't have the money, don't produce movies that rely almost entirely on special effects.

I will not even comment on the quality of... well... everything. But let me just say this: If there were only $500k to spend (as one of the other comments mentioned), there ought to have been at least 500 Bucks to spend on a halfway decent script written by some English minor from undergrad school.

Cheap trash actually makes me smile every once in a while, but this here was just a pain. Really.

(Why can't I give 0 points for GODawful?)

First of all, I'd like to say that I enjoy the particular genre of films that the Sinbad movies generally fall into the category of. This film, however is not one of them. If you go into this expecting to see your classic Sinbad action then I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.

It's not necessarily a bad decision to attempt to convert the themes of Sinbad onto a present day setting, but it wasn't pulled off well here and I, for one, would have preferred to have seen a new rendition set in the traditional era, or at least sometime in the not-too-recent past. There are no seven adventures to be seen here anyway, that's for sure.

The main character is a descendant of Sinbad apparently - his name is John Sinbad or some such rubbish. Apart from that, this bears no real relation to any of it's name-sakes except for one scene involving a tribe of alluring female demons who attempt to enslave Sinbad and his crew, via hypnosis, which was taken from an earlier and better Sinbad movie. This made me wonder if this is some kind of remake but I soon realised that it is not. There were a few computer generated monsters to 'behold' - or try to at least - among them, a computer generated cyclops and giant octopus, both of which failed to evoke any of the the glory and wonder of the more organic effects of older films of the kind. Ray Harryhausen, for example, is still the king after all this time.

Overall, pathetic storyline, boring progression of plot, Underwhelming acting and uninspiring character performances, cheesy one-liners which don't work, sad visual effects and void of any real tension or ability to provoke any kind of emotional response at all. From me, at least.