The 7 Adventures of Sinbad

I have seen good movies, bad movies, bad movies that become cult movies and then sadly a few like this where if I had the sense of a dead cat I would have stopped watching.

The only good thing was that the design of one of the monsters (bird type things) was quite good - everything else was BAD BAD BAD ...

No plot - well at least nothing that made sense. Characters - were as wooden and predictable as it would be possible to imagine. Special effects - on the whole plain bad. Acting - there were real tears from one of the actors - I think it was because they realised that once this turkey was released they would never work again.

I can't go on even remembering this movie (which I only finished watching ten minutes ago) as it's causing irreparable brain damage.

WATCH ANYTHING ELSE!!!

I really feel sorry for anyone who paid any money to see this poor excuse for a movie. The effects are outrageously cheap and nasty and unfortunately the acting is worse! Somebody spent money on making this move. It couldn't have been a lot but certainly some money and they were robbed blind. So are the people who are duped into seeing it. You could not even make a bad movie like this if you tried hard to. If you have not seen this movie yet, and you have the good sense to read reviews such as this....then still go and see it or watch it on DVD then you deserve everything you get. Which by the way, is nothing. Don't waste your time or your money.

When I first saw the title of this movie and the poster, I thought it would be a newer take on Ray Harryhausen. Boy, was *I* wrong. Set in contemporary times (read 2010), this attempted "update" falls flat in many categories. It's incredibly disjointed - you will find yourself asking "Huh? How, when or why did THAT happen?" It doesn't maintain any of the flavor of the original. There are monsters as depicted in the poster, but this film doesn't explain, dwell on, or expand on them in any manner. From the opening shots of Somali pirates (remember, this is in the year 2010 that we are talking about) you will see this Sinbad is in name only.

Still, it isn't all bad. The female lead has an incredibly ripped body which is eye catching. The hokey special effects are reminiscent of the Sci Fi Channel from about ten years ago and are fun to watch. There are a couple of really vivid moments when the film comes alive. It's when the story strays from the monsters that it falls apart.

I wouldn't pan this movie completely, it's not totally worthless. Asylum has done a better job here than on previous efforts, but they seem stuck in the "Gotta get it into 90 minutes" mold. Just think, they could have completed a fairly good movie with a bit more time in the viewing and having done away with the dumb subplots.

Maybe.

I really think the voting system ought to allow negative scores, just to counter some of the positives given by people clearly connected with the film - either on the production side or acting side.

I guess I'm referring to Mr. "joemorph from United States" who wrote a ridiculously long and praising review that was clearly aimed at him getting some of his investment back.

Hard luck Mr. joemorph from USA. This film is appalling.

Even worse than the film was the acting of the lead actor. Apart from the ridiculous "crab" scene where he had a little tantrum, his face rarely broke into a smile, a frown, or gave any other indication of what he was feeling other than a look that said "I don't believe I'm in such a pathetic film".

First of all, I'd like to say that I enjoy the particular genre of films that the Sinbad movies generally fall into the category of. This film, however is not one of them. If you go into this expecting to see your classic Sinbad action then I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.

It's not necessarily a bad decision to attempt to convert the themes of Sinbad onto a present day setting, but it wasn't pulled off well here and I, for one, would have preferred to have seen a new rendition set in the traditional era, or at least sometime in the not-too-recent past. There are no seven adventures to be seen here anyway, that's for sure.

The main character is a descendant of Sinbad apparently - his name is John Sinbad or some such rubbish. Apart from that, this bears no real relation to any of it's name-sakes except for one scene involving a tribe of alluring female demons who attempt to enslave Sinbad and his crew, via hypnosis, which was taken from an earlier and better Sinbad movie. This made me wonder if this is some kind of remake but I soon realised that it is not. There were a few computer generated monsters to 'behold' - or try to at least - among them, a computer generated cyclops and giant octopus, both of which failed to evoke any of the the glory and wonder of the more organic effects of older films of the kind. Ray Harryhausen, for example, is still the king after all this time.

Overall, pathetic storyline, boring progression of plot, Underwhelming acting and uninspiring character performances, cheesy one-liners which don't work, sad visual effects and void of any real tension or ability to provoke any kind of emotional response at all. From me, at least.