Sand Sharks

No seriously, what did I watch???

I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the stupidity throughout the movie.

Sure the CGI isn't great, and the idea of sand sharks itself isn't exactly a genius' work, but that didn't really disturb me. I think the over and under the top acting was the worst part, additionally, whoever took part in writing the script should be shot. I've seen pornos or "romantic dramas" from 1995 with better scripts... (reference:"I like to play games").

I guess I would watch this movie again if friends came over and we would all get really really really high while watching the movie, then I would say it's an amazing comedy.

Oh dear Lord, this was horrible.

Well, actually I knew that right away from the title alone, but at the same time I wanted to see it because I knew it was going to be one of those campy movies that make you shake your head in disbelief, and trust me, it did.

The story itself is so amazingly ridiculous. Sharks swimming through sand. Come on. Who comes up with ideas like these?

And the cast, well even though some of them were actually putting on adequate performances, the movie was just weighed down by a poor plot and bad CGI effects.

There are lots of really bad shark movies available on the movie market, and "Sand Sharks" is right up there with them. It is utterly non-plausible and just down right stupid at times. "Sand Sharks" is worth a watch if you want something to laugh at while trying to recover from a bad hang over, and that is about it.

What's next, Concrete Alligators?

Jimmy Green (Corin Nemec of Parker Lewis Can't Lose fame), a con-man always up for a quick buck whom convinces his dad the Mayor to hold a beach rave while sand sharks are gobbling up people, is the one (questionable) slightly bright-point in yet another Asylum made turd. His charisma makes one almost (but not quite) forget, or excuse, how shoddy this typical bad Asylum is. The thing is that it's still better than 98% of what that atrocious studio craps out year in and year out.

I know, I know, not a ringing endorsement but with movies that premiere on SyFy, one has to go in with vastly diminished expectations in order to derive something, anything, good from said picture. Lest we go mad.

My Grade; D

Seriously, this is quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen. Really poor B-movies from the '60s rank higher than this abomination.

I implore anyone reading this before seeing the film to instead, pop down to a DIY store, buy a can of paint. Find a wall in your home that needs some attention, paint said wall, pull up a chair and watch it dry. It's a much better use of an hour and a half! Some positive feedback on the film, there's a couple of stunning ladies cast, pity that their dialogue is written, presumably by an illiterate horse (sorry, I think that's a bit tough on horses).

The location setting is o.k. The script, plot, acting, concept, visual effects and directing though is woeful. One for the Razzies!

If you see Mark Atkins as the directors name and you see the title of a movie that looks stupid or looks like a rip-off of a popular title then you know you will get ultra trash.

This here is no exception. But it's so strange to see the name Gina Holden on the credits. Face it, she has done so much excellent horrors like Saw 7, The Butterfly Effect, AVP and I can go on and on. Others here in this cheesy flick deliver performances from stupid ones to wooden ones. But also the CGI used is one to see. It's on of those SyFy quality and you know what that means. As bad as it can get. But I must admit that I somehow enjoyed it because they added some comedy towards this flick. If you take it seriously then you will hate this flick but if you watch it as a stupid flick then you maybe will enjoy if you can dig ultra low budgets. And the production didn't take themselves seriously because in this flick they even mention Roger Corman, so a big hint to what you will get.

It's weird that this is even available in a cut version although it doesn't have that much red stuff in it, except some CGI one. But the uncut version does deliver one gory shot of a copper being bitten in half, intestines shown. Here and there their are a few other nasty shots. Where they also added some comedy is in the fact that a voluptuous girl is getting undressed and is ready to show her juggs is bitten by a sand shark, funny to see and a big finger to the perverted ones out there. So no nudity here.

Get yourself a pint and some crisps and invite a few friends, you surely will have a few laughs. Not as bad as I thought it would be but still, cheesy as hell. And I wont go into the really bad and predictable ending....

Gore 1/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 1/5