Hayride

I'm often amazed at 1 star reviews, but is one case where I could understand. I can honestly contend that this is, without doubt, without hyperbole, the absolute lowest of the low. In several years of Octoberfest, dozens upon dozens of Halloween based films, this one bites the dust (in hindsight, previous worst "House of Fears" is Oscar worthy in comparison).

The opening bits between guy and girl and his family had a certain charm, authenticness perhaps. It seemed a 5/10 (my default, basically neutral or passable). 45-55 mins in, it loses its intro period grace and just keeps knowing at the bone. I honestly doubt there was a script with entire segments just going on and on and on, seemingly entirely improved and not even edited. Actors blatantly looking into the camera.

There is no humor, no gore, no good kills, no nudity, no budget, no script, no editing. The sound effects are overused stock and the "score" consists of old classics that are free to public domain.

The "kills" are entirely cut-away. Someone is seen walking, we cut away to shot of killer, killer makes stabbing motion, we cut away to victim who suddenly has ketchup on neck, stomach, etc. That or killer sneaks behind and we get an implied but never seen back stab. No effects or effort made. Not a single decent kill will be found.

This movie is absolute drivel that anyone could do with probably 50 dollars worth of Halloween toy props and a phone, provided you can get people to "act" and supply some vehicles. By 55 mins, I simply gave up and fast forwarded through the pathetic kills and lame ass ending. I've seen bad films before but this takes the cake. 2/10 is a new low for me, as is having to actually resort to fast forwarding. I honestly hope I can spare someone from this experience, you will undoubtedly regret it. Beyond the niche appeal of Halloween based films, it holds absolutely no value to horror or film at large

The front cover of the DVD has a bloke in black hoodie with Jason from Friday the 13th hockey mask but instead we get a Jason lookalike big sack over his head just like Jason before hockey mask killing with a pitchfork.

Hayride is supposed to be a slasher, an ode to the slashers. And in fact it is really a slasher, can't disagree about that fact but sadly it's missing a few points that are a must be done in slashers. There isn't any point of view from the killer and there's no nudity.

Still I can live with that fact but there's more going on. Sadly this flick is on the boring side because it do has a lot of talking going on and a lot of stupid conversations. But not only that. Most of the killings are done off-camera which naturally doesn't add a positive note towards the horror.

The story itself did had a lot of potential but it's the flick itself that really isn't almost watchable due that fact of not showing the horror.

Hayride is low budget but doens't offer a nice ride.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 1/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5

Rural Alabama, the Moon is full and it's time for the annual Halloween Hayride event. Bodies are piling up, is it the work of an escaped killer or is the legend of the maniac Pitchfork really true?

I'll get straight to the point, this is a poor and unoriginal movie. Pitchfork wears a sack mask (as did Jason in Friday the 13th part 2), we even have a cop called Loomis (Halloween)! The only actor of any credit is Richard Tyson, but let's be honest that's not saying much. Some scenes have incredibly annoying shakey cam, combined with bad acting this makes a rather horrible viewing experience. Most of the kills are off screen or in the dark, there is little in the way of gore and absolutely zero nudity. However Hayride does have a decent enough kill count, I liked the rural locations and the addition of some classical Beethoven music was welcome. If, like me, you are a die hard slasher movie fan and you're in need of a stalk 'n' slash fix then Hayride will just about suffice. I do feel a tad generous awarding this 4/10 but I have seen far worse than this.

There is a brief post end credits scene that hints at a sequel, which did indeed come about three years later.

Classic(?) horror premise, boring storyline, you already know this movie. decent acting, especially in pivotal points, but who doesnt know the ending? unfortunately set up for a sequel, ok yeah ill watch that too