Ink Master

If you intend to watch this show to see some amazing tattoos, don't waste your time: search for them on Google Images. Believe me, you will be saving a lot of time. "But what's so bad about it?", you might ask. Well, I can summarize it.

1. The time given to actually show the pieces is very short. F*ck, it is supposed to be a tattoo show! Show the goddamn tattoos!

2. The majority of the episodes focus on little stupid quarrels among the competitors. It's just like watching some grown-up people acting like children in the kindergarten. Sometimes it is very hard to avoid the thinking that it is planned. It is just annoying and embarrassing to watch.

3. The judging is ridiculous. Needless to say, it is unacceptable for a competition show. Here, it is clear that it is not only the tattoo that is being judged. There's usually a favorite of the judges, and this person will magically stay among the best of the day repeatedly. It does not matter if the tattoo doesn't meet the criteria of the challenge or if it plainly sucks.

I always had complaints about this show, but kept on watching it for the tattoos... But now I realize it is not worthy. Just go for it if you enjoy watching some bizarre human behavior and twist endings.

I have watched every season, and it is down to enjoying the tattoo art process, which is about one third of the show. After the first couple of seasons, it was pretty clear that winning artists are pre-chosen for the final round, and they are going to win no matter how awful their tattoo is on any specific week.

The final episode used to be two hours of these characters just trash talking, and it was impossible to watch. Even at one hour, the final episode every season is the worst one. The giant back tattoos are usually not that good. Whoever made the best full back tattoo never wins. It is by far a rigged competition.

Every season, there are at least two men who are real jerks, and one or two women who are very arrogant and snotty. The rest of the artists in the competition spend their spare time either hating each other, or arguing. The fighting every week makes up about one third of every episode.

The Flash Challenge is some random contest where the competing artists do some totally useless activity, like making houses out of popsicle sticks. This big waste of time takes up the first one third of every episode. Most of the time, if you start watching after 30 minutes, you have not missed much. The best way to watch this show is to view it one week after every episode, and then you can fast forward through all the garbage time, like the flash challenges.

The three judges have very little personality. Dave Navarro used to be a guitarist on Jane's Addiction. He often does not give his opinion at all. He is not a tattoo artist, so the only reason he is on this show is because he is the closest thing to a "celebrity" that they could get. The other two judges are tattoo artists nobody ever heard of, but they claim to be famous.

I watch this show to see tattoo artists performing their craft, and to hopefully see some great tattoos. However, each season it gets more embarrassing and painful to watch. I know it's a competition, but if the participants are truly as arrogant and obnoxious as they are portrayed, I can't believe they have legitimate businesses as artists. It's all about drama and fighting and bad-mouthing everyone instead of being about the skill and art. Are all of these people honestly ego-maniacs who have no respect for their peers? Granted, there are usually a few nice folks in the bunch but overall it's just embarrassing how juvenile these people are. Then there's the judging which never seems to be based on what they asked for and who actually complied with the rules. Instead it's about popularity, favoritism and keeping the most controversial people to make sure they have drama. Until they do blind judging, get rid of coaches and get rid of teams. this will never be a fair and real competition. I'm still watching for now to see the art, but it's getting increasingly difficult.

This review is for the revived version of Inkmaster. I have watched every season of this show and loved every minute of it, and I was crushed when it was canceled at Paramount, then thrilled when I learned it would be coming back. I knew Oliver Peck had been fired so I didn't expect him to come back, and I even expected Ryan Ashley to take his place if the show were to return. Well, it returned with new judges- Ryan Ashley, Nikko Hurtado, Ami James, and hosted by Joel Madden. Since Dave Navarro has "long Covid" and is unable to put in the hours necessary to film the show, Madden takes over as host and Dave pops by via video.

Well, the contestants are good, a bunch of retreads we have seen before- each of them interesting and irritating in their own way, but it's the judges that are hurting this season.

Ryan Ashley is so meek, I thought she would be a stronger personality, but she seems to eager to please.

Ami James is simple a mute. He has about a 15 word vocabulary and says very little during each episode. Nikko Hurtado is the best addition to the show- he appreciates the art, but is not afraid to get into the technical details- he is the closest this version of the show comes to the previous. Joel Madden does a decent job as host, and Navarro's video visits feel like those videos you see while you're on line for a ride at an amusement park. The fake interaction with the judges is obvious- we know he is not live, people, so please stop trying to fool us.

This show REALLY misses Chris Nunez. He was so good with his critiques, he didn't miss a single detail, and he didn't need to drop an F-bomb ever other word to get his point across. Even Oliver is very much missed here.

Finally, since this is on the streaming service, the curses aren't bleeped out. The old show's bleeps could get annoying, but this is way, way, worse. Every other word is an F-bomb and it's almost like they have been told to say it as often as possible in an effort to appear edgier than the old show. It's not edgy, it sounds uneducated and childish.

However, I hope the show comes back for more, and I sincerely hope at least Nunez returns (he could replace Ami and the show would be hugely upgraded). This is still a fun show to watch and seeing the artists at work is always the best part of it.

I love reality competition shows. I am also fascinated by the art tattooing, albeit thus far I am an abstainer. The first season was the best--huge egos but genuine talent. (My favorite did not win.) Since then the show has devolved to showcasing some of the nastiest, untalented people on TV. The number of bleeps per episode is irritating; the talent sub par. Is the industry so tapped out that this is the best it has to offer? I also wonder about the psychological stability of the human canvases, many of whom are left with truly ugly, permanent "artwork" on their bodies. In the latest episode, these canvases wanted a anatomically-correct human heart morphing into either a lion, clock or hand grenade. Really? Are they paid to do this or just guaranteed a cover-up on the series Tattoo Nightmares?